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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25278787">It's Not Like It's A Secret</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsandschmaltz/pseuds/tearsandschmaltz'>tearsandschmaltz</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Disaster Sokka (Avatar), Bisexual Suki (Avatar), Canon Divergent, F/F, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Implied Sexual Content, Lesbian Toph Beifong, M/M, Marriage Proposal, POV Alternating, Period-Typical Homophobia, Rated M just in case, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, aang and katara are completely oblivious to sokka and zuko, first time saying I love you, hakoda and gran-gran make an appearance as does iroh, six years post canon, sokka helps fix like the whole world and is great at his job, vacation on ember island</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:02:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,127</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25278787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearsandschmaltz/pseuds/tearsandschmaltz</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“It’s just never come up,” Sokka admitted.<br/>Judging from the confused and irritated look Zuko was giving him, that was the wrong thing to say. Zuko started to massage his temples. Uh oh. He only did that when he was getting stressed.<br/>“We’ve been together for two years and it’s ‘never come up’?!”<br/>“It’s not like it’s a secret!” Sokka cried.<br/>---<br/>Sokka and Zuko are about to head back to Ember Island for the Gaang's annual vacation there (and Aang's 18th birthday), but Sokka realizes he's neglected to mention that he and Zuko have been dating for two years to Katara and Aang. But Katara and Aang are distracted by their own problems, and nothing Sokka does seems to make them understand that he and Zuko are actually dating. Zuko, meanwhile, wants to tell Sokka he loves him for the first time, but can't find an acceptable moment to say it. Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara &amp; Sokka (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong &amp; Zuko, Toph Beifong/Suki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>121</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>536</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. It's Not Like It's A Secret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic came about after I thought to myself, "I wonder how long Sokka could go without telling anyone that he and Zuko are dating, because he just assumes everyone already knows." And then I thought, "How long could Aang and Katara conceivably misunderstand/ignore Sokka's attempts to tell them he's dating Zuko?" And then this silly dumb fic was born. It's really just to make me laugh (with some serious/sweet stuff in there, don't worry), so I hope you enjoy it too.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Sokka loved vacations. He loved his friends. He loved traveling. And he loved Zuko the most, probably, of those things. He was thrilled when their annual “we ended the war” Ember Island vacation rolled around, although it probably didn’t qualify as annual anymore because they were all too busy to go the year before. It had been so long since he’d seen any of their friends, and he missed them. Plus, they were leaving early to visit the South Pole before joining up with everyone else, and he really missed his dad.</p><p>            He was packing up his and Zuko’s things, probably a bit haphazardly, when Zuko walked in to their room and hugged him from behind. He pressed a kiss against Sokka’s temple.</p><p>            “What’s that for?” Sokka said, unable to hide his smile.</p><p>            “I need a reason to kiss you now?” Zuko stepped back and shook his head. “Let’s see…”</p><p>            He pretended to be deep in thought, and Sokka playfully hit his arm before kissing him on the lips. “How was the meeting?”</p><p>            “Ugh. Boring as usual.” Zuko’s eyes looked over Sokka’s shoulders and caught sight of the messy bags. Zuko cocked an eyebrow (well, the only eyebrow he had). “Don’t tell me my things are in there.”</p><p>            “I was trying to be helpful!” Sokka cried, although he knew from the way their bags were overflowing that he had failed. “What, you expect me to fold the clothes before I put them in?”</p><p>            Zuko laughed. “That’s generally how it works, yeah.”</p><p>            Sokka flopped down on their bed. “Do it yourself, then.” But he wasn’t angry or frustrated, just amused, which seemed to be his mood lately, more often than not.</p><p>            “It’s going to be so weird to see everyone again.” Zuko had dumped both bags out on the floor to try to actually pack the things in them. “We haven’t seen Katara and Aang in forever.”</p><p>            “I know. I wonder what they’ll say.”</p><p>            “About what?” Zuko asked, then his back stiffened and he turned around. “Sokka. Don’t tell me they don’t know about us.”</p><p>            Sokka wanted to be embarrassed, honestly, but he wasn’t, really, because he’d just never found the time to bring it up to either of them. It seemed like there were so many more important things to talk about. And how would he even bring it up? “Things are fine here, and anyway, I’m dating Zuko now”? No way.</p><p>            “It’s just never come up,” he admitted.</p><p>            Judging from the confused and irritated look Zuko was giving him, that was the wrong thing to say. Zuko started to massage his temples. Uh oh. He only did that when he was getting stressed.</p><p>            “We’ve been together for two years and it’s ‘never come up’?!”</p><p>            “It’s not like it’s a secret!” Sokka cried. And it wasn’t! He wasn’t ashamed of his relationship with Zuko or afraid his sister and Aang would judge him. “We’ve kinda been busy with other stuff! You know, like figuring out how to establish the Republic of Nations?”</p><p>            “I just—” Zuko sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose before continuing. “Are you embarrassed of me, Sokka?”</p><p>            Sokka sprung to his feet then, rushing to Zuko’s side to reassure him. “No fucking way, dude. That’s not it. I just assumed they’d figure it out, I guess, and…I mean, we’ve had a lot on our plates lately.”</p><p>            “Which was why I was looking forward to this vacation. But now…”</p><p>            Sokka pulled Zuko’s hands away from his face and held them between their chests. “You don’t have to worry about it. I promise. It’s not gonna be a big deal.”</p><p>            An impish smile crossed Zuko’s face. “Well, good. Because no way in hell am I telling your sister.” He pecked another kiss on Sokka’s cheek.</p><p>            “Oh, please, we’ve known you for years now! Do you seriously think Katara is holding a grudge against you still? Are you afraid of her?”</p><p>            “In this instance, yes, I am.” Zuko hesitated again. “You did tell your dad, right?”</p><p>            Busted again. Damn, Sokka was striking out today. “Well…”</p><p>            Zuko just threw up his hands and returned to packing. Sokka knew nothing he could say would make the situation better, so he just repeated, “I mean, it’s not like I’ve been keeping it a secret!”</p><p>            “Spirits, is your dad expecting me to ask his permission to date you, or something? Will he be okay with it?”</p><p>            Sokka understood the unspoken question Zuko was really asking. When they’d first started dating, Zuko had struggled, not because of Sokka, but because his entire life he’d been told it was wrong to date another man. That there was something <em>wrong </em>with him if he did. Ozai was a terrible parent in every single way, and it seemed to Sokka like he had drilled these ideas into Zuko for extra hard years and years. It had taken a while for Zuko to be comfortable being affectionate with Sokka in public, but Sokka couldn’t blame him.</p><p>            Thankfully, his family couldn’t have been more different. It wasn’t something that was openly discussed in the Water Tribe, but it seemed his people had all tacitly agreed that it was acceptable, and that was that. Just before Hakoda had left to fight in the war, Sokka had had a huge crush on one of the older boys in their village and had asked him what to do about it. Hakoda had made sure Sokka understood nothing was wrong with him—then a few days later, he was gone.</p><p>            “Don’t worry, everyone’ll be cool with it.” Sokka thought for a moment, then added, “Besides, I think my dad and Bato have had a thing a couple of times.”</p><p>            The tension in Zuko’s shoulders seemed to ease a little, and Sokka felt better. Now it was his turn to creep up behind Zuko and hug him.</p><p>            “I’m sorry I never brought it up before,” he murmured against Zuko’s back. “I was really distracted.”</p><p>            “It’s okay.” Zuko turned around and put his hand on Sokka’s cheek. “I can never stay mad at you, anyway.”</p>
<hr/><p>            Sokka was surprised to be the first awake the next morning; he was so excited to see his family again, even though the trip to the South Pole from the Fire Nation was long and boring. He briefly noted to himself that they needed to find better ways to connect the two for trade between the two nations to flourish, then wondered when the hell he had started getting so analytical about things.</p><p>            He got ready quickly, throwing on his most comfortable clothes while digging in the closet for some of his old winter coats. The concept of needing a winter coat at all was still unfamiliar to Zuko, and he knew he’d freeze his ass off and suffer in silence the second they docked at the South Pole if Sokka didn’t give him something warm to wear.</p><p>            Zuko’s snoring was the soundtrack to his morning routine, which comprised of several stretches and breathing exercises he’d picked up in his travels that helped him feel centered. Once he was finished, he kissed Zuko’s forehead as he shook him awake.</p><p>            “You should probably get ready soon,” he whispered to his boyfriend, and Zuko groaned in response. “I know it’s early and it sucks, but we should try to leave on time.”</p><p>            Sokka slipped out of their room, then, and it still felt so strange to call the room <em>theirs</em>. But it was theirs. They’d shared it from the second Sokka had come to the palace as an ambassador from the Southern Water Tribe. Years ago, this palace had seemed like the most dangerous and sinister place he could think of, but now it just felt like home. Not like in the South Pole, but something different, a home he and Zuko had made for themselves.</p><p>            That was probably because Sokka had changed so much about Zuko’s daily life and the way the Fire Nation was operating in general. When Zuko’s advisors were demanding his attention, Sokka would step in and tell them to give him a break. He’d called out someone nearly every meeting they’d had over their imperialist attitudes, and had fought tooth and nail with the Earth King and former colonial governors to force them to recognize the former colonies as an independent nation belonging to neither the Fire Nation nor the Earth Kingdom. He’d rebuilt trade routes that had been disrupted a hundred years back, started trade back up between his tribe and the Fire Nation, helped to fix infrastructure that the war had destroyed…</p><p>            In short, Sokka had kicked this country’s ass and helped put it on the right track.</p><p>            Where Zuko was hesitant and worried, Sokka was insistent and unyielding. He refused to give in to the men who had sanctioned the raids on his people, who had carried out the genocide of the Air Nomads. Zuko had to tiptoe around them over concerns that they’d try to have him deposed or assassinated, but Sokka didn’t. He wasn’t afraid of them because he knew that they were all really cowards. After having to try to argue with Sokka (which Katara often said was like yelling at a wall of ice), many of them had resigned. And it felt really, really good to be able to help Zuko like that, and, by extension, the rest of the normal Fire Nation citizens who’d suffered huge losses and trauma during the war.</p><p>            He hadn’t noticed he’d been wandering, but he found himself in one of the large atriums in the palace. When his stomach growled, he realized he’d probably stopped there because he smelled something delicious. He scanned the area to find whatever the source was and was surprised to find Iroh brewing some tea in the corner of the room.</p><p>            “Iroh!” Sokka called out warmly. He bowed once he was close to the old man. “I’m surprised you’re here so early.”</p><p>            “Please, Sokka, you can call me Uncle,” Iroh said with a wink. “I think you’ve earned it by now.”</p><p>            Sokka flushed. “O-of course, Uncle.” His heart swelled saying the words. He respected and adored Iroh, not just because he’d helped them so much during the war, but because his love of Zuko was so clear and apparent, in contrast to every other member of Zuko’s family. “I don’t know why I thought you’d be here after we left.”</p><p>            “I actually arrived late last night, but I didn’t want to disturb you two.” Iroh yawned. “Plus, I was tired.”</p><p>            “I guess I should’ve expected you to want to see Zuko.” Sokka rolled his eyes at himself. “Duh.”</p><p>            “Sit down, my nephew.” Iroh gestured to the seat across from him.</p><p>            <em>Nephew</em>? Sokka grinned, knowing he probably looked like an idiot. Since when did Iroh start thinking of him that way?</p><p>            “I can tell what you are wanting to ask. Ever since Zuko told me about the two of you, I could see how happy you made him. And anyone who treats my nephew well—they become like family to me.”</p><p>            Sokka couldn’t help himself and bowed again. “It’s an honor, Uncle. Thank you.” But his feelings of happiness were short-lived once he realized that Zuko had told Iroh about them forever ago, while Sokka had neglected to tell any of the members of his family.</p><p>            “Something is on your mind. Have some tea.” Iroh pushed forward the extra cup he had with him, small flames erupting from his hands to heat up the pot.</p><p>            Sokka hated tea, really, but even he had to admit that Iroh’s tea was very good. “I guess I’m just feeling stupid because I didn’t really tell anyone about me and Zuko. Like, anyone.” He grimaced. “I don’t know why it never crossed my mind to say anything. But we’re gonna be seeing my dad and Gran-Gran and Pakku tonight, and I feel really bad that they don’t already know.”</p><p>            “You have been busy. Hard at work rebuilding the world. I am sure they will forgive you.”</p><p>            Sokka smiled, but he still worried; it wasn’t his family forgiving him he was worried about, it was Zuko. “We really appreciate you coming to fill in for Zuko so we can go on vacation.”</p><p>            “It’s my pleasure, really,” Iroh said. “Besides, some of the guards and I set up a Pai Sho tournament, and I intend to win.”</p><p>            Just then, footsteps echoed from the hallway, and Zuko strolled in, carrying his and Sokka’s bags and coats. “Uncle!” he said with surprise, and promptly dropped everything to rush over to hug Iroh.</p><p>            Iroh hugged him tightly back, the corners of his eyes crinkling with joy. “I have missed you, Zuko. I am only sorry our time today is so short.”</p><p>            When the pulled apart, Zuko set a hand on Iroh’s shoulder. He was so much taller than his uncle now, and their height difference was almost funny to Sokka now—Iroh had never been as tall as Zuko was.</p><p>            “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like when we get back,” Zuko affirmed. “We really hope you will.”</p><p>            “Well, I am certainly not saying no to staying in a place where I no longer have to cook for myself!” Iroh said with a laugh. “You boys should get going. You have a long trip ahead of you.”</p><p>            “Don’t remind me,” Zuko grumbled, but it seemed more for show than anything else.</p><p>            Sokka hugged Iroh before he went to grab their things. “Thank you for the tea. And for doing this, seriously.”</p><p>            “Anytime, nephew.” Iroh’s eyes sparkled in that mischievous way they did when he was goading Zuko into doing something embarrassing.</p><p>            Zuko seemed surprised but delighted to hear Iroh calling Sokka his nephew. Sokka retrieved their bags, leaving the two alone to talk for a moment. He wondered what they were discussing.</p><p>            After another hug and a bow, Zuko came up to Sokka, and the two started walking towards the docks to board the ship that would take them to the South Pole. Zuko’s guards had wanted him to take an enormous ship, which had been decommissioned after the war, and Zuko had adamantly reminded them that the last thing the Southern Water Tribe needed was to see another Fire Nation warship crashing onto their shores.</p><p>            Secretly, Sokka was relieved—not that he didn’t agree with Zuko’s reasoning, but he knew he couldn’t help himself from snooping around the giant old ship like he’d done during the war.</p>
<hr/><p>            “Hey, we’re here,” Zuko whispered, and Sokka blinked back sleep. Had the time passed that quickly? How long was he asleep for?</p><p>            Sure enough, he could see the South Pole’s docks through the windows, and a giddy feeling rose in his stomach.</p><p>            “Where’d you put our coats?” he asked, mostly to himself, and he almost put his on backwards. Zuko had already put his on and tossed some gloves at Sokka.</p><p>            It had been way too long since Sokka had seen his dad, and even though he was almost 22, he still felt like a little boy determined to prove himself to Hakoda. Rebuilding their home together had been one of the most rewarding experiences he ever could’ve asked for, and making the choice to help rebuild the rest of the world had been hard. He hoped his dad wouldn’t hold it against him—especially considering that his relationship with Zuko had definitely made the choice a little easier on Sokka.</p><p>            “Wait’ll you see our igloo now. It’s huge!” Sokka began, aware that he was babbling. “Ever since we brought down the waterbenders from the North, we’ve been able to build actual structures that don’t get destroyed easily. It’s amazing. You won’t even recognize the place.”</p><p>            Zuko smiled and reached out a gloved hand for Sokka to take. “I’m sure I won’t.”</p><p>            Sokka impatiently shuffled in place as they waited for the boat to be secured, and Zuko gave him that look that told him he was being goofy but he still adored it, and he wanted to kiss Zuko and just jump off onto the docks at the same time.</p><p>            Finally, the ramp extended down onto the docks, and Sokka regretted that he’d told Zuko earlier that he’d carry their bags, because the second he saw his dad and grandmother, he dropped them.</p><p>            “Dad! Gran-Gran!” he yelled, and gave them both crushing hugs. “And Grand-Pakku! You’re here, too!”</p><p>            Pakku just sighed. “Sokka, you can really just call me Pakku.”</p><p>            Sokka rolled his eyes. “Where’s the fun in that?”</p><p>            As Gran-Gran was giving him her usual once over (“have they been feeding you well there?”), Sokka saw Zuko out of the corner of his eye. He was standing awkwardly near Sokka’s family, but it was obvious he didn’t know what to do.</p><p>            Sokka reached out his hand for Zuko, and he took it. Sokka couldn’t tell if his boyfriend’s face was flushed from embarrassment or the cold. “And you guys know Zuko, obviously.”</p><p>            “Fire Lord Zuko,” Hakoda said with a bow. “It is an honor for you to visit.”</p><p>            Zuko bowed back. He looked so dorky in Sokka’s oversized coat, and Sokka stifled a laugh. “Thank you, Chief Hakoda, but really, you can just call me Zuko.”</p><p>            “No need for formalities when we’re with family,” Sokka added. He looped his arm through Zuko’s and started pulling him towards the center of his now bustling village. “C’mon, I think the Fire Jerk is gonna turn into an ice cube if we don’t get him inside soon.”</p><p>            As they walked through town, Sokka proudly pointed out each area he’d designed and planned out, all the improvements he and Hakoda had come up with. His dad would occasionally chime in with some praise for Sokka, but he seemed to be engaged in some silent conversation with Gran-Gran. They were shooting each other looks back and forth, occasionally sighing or huffing. Sokka had taken hold of Zuko’s hand and hadn’t let go, and he was sure that was what they were tacitly discussing.</p><p>            He stopped in the middle of the road—really, they had roads now!—and whistled at the view of the huge igloo now at the center of their town. “Just look at that,” he marveled, his voice quiet. “A few years ago, we never would’ve dreamed of even having lamps by the road. Or having a road at all.”</p><p>            “You did a really good job,” Zuko replied, equally quiet, and Sokka knew the comment was just for him, a silent tether between them that told him Zuko was doing okay.</p><p>            “You kids must be starving. Enough chit-chat,” Gran-Gran said, and she shoved them all forward towards the door.</p><p>            Once they were inside, Sokka pulled off his coat, knowing he’d heat up in mere seconds from the blazing firepit they had in the center of the room. Zuko, on the other hand, seemed to retreat further into his jacket, which made Sokka laugh.</p><p>            “I made some stewed sea prunes for you earlier.” Gran-Gran was already shuffling towards the kitchen. “I know they’re your favorite.”</p><p>            “You’re the best, Gran-Gran,” Sokka said, and he meant it.</p><p>            Hakoda cleared his throat. “Sokka, why don’t you show Zuko to the guest room?” The expression on his father’s face was unreadable.</p><p>            Oh. <em>Oh</em>. Sokka understood what Hakoda was really asking.</p><p>            “Zuko and I are gonna share my room, actually.” Sokka smiled and hoped he didn’t look too nervous—after all, it was the first time his family had met Zuko not as the Fire Lord, but as his boyfriend. “Hope that’s fine with you.”</p><p>            Hakoda just smiled. “Of course.”</p><p>            “Thanks,” Sokka said and smiled back. He grabbed their bags and led Zuko down the hallway towards his old room.</p><p>            When they were inside, he closed the door behind them. Sokka noticed the tops of Zuko’s ears were bright red. “Are you nervous about them? Don’t be, I think they really like you, so there’s—”</p><p>            Zuko unzipped the coat so his chin and mouth would be visible at last. “No, they’re red because I was getting hot thinking of kissing you.”</p><p>            Sokka helped him pull it off and wrapped his arms around Zuko’s waist. “You’re such a dork sometimes.”</p><p>            “And yet you still can’t keep your hands off this dork for five seconds,” Zuko retorted.</p><p>            They leaned in to kiss, and Sokka loved the feeling of Zuko’s cold nose against his cheek, the way Zuko’s fingers were somehow warm as he ran them through Sokka’s hair, the fact that they were kissing <em>in his house</em> at the South Pole…it was enough to make his heart burst.</p><p>            When Zuko started to press kisses against Sokka’s neck, Sokka reluctantly had to pull away. “Later. I promise. But my family is probably wondering where we are. Plus, you do <em>not </em>want to turn Gran-Gran down when she offers you food.”</p><p>            Zuko flushed again, and Sokka grabbed his ass just as they were leaving his room, which made him squeak.</p><p>            “Dork,” he said, and Zuko playfully bumped his shoulder into Sokka’s.</p><p>            In the few minutes that they’d been gone, Gran-Gran had managed to set the giant table with a set of dishes Sokka had never seen before—maybe they were new? And a whole spread of food that was much more than the initially promised sea prunes.</p><p>            “Gran-Gran, you’re the best. I’m serious Thank you.” Sokka sat down at the table and immediately began stuffing his face.</p><p>            “I knew you’d miss my cooking,” Gran-Gran replied softly, her tenderness creeping into her nonchalant exterior.</p><p>            “Uh, what would you recommend, Kanna?” Zuko asked. “I’ve never had Water Tribe food.”</p><p>            Sokka knew immediately what his grandmother would say next, and sure enough, she said it. “Call me Gran-Gran,” she insisted. “Try the sea prunes. They’re Sokka’s favorite.”</p><p>            And though Sokka knew that Zuko would almost certainly hate them, just like Aang and Toph had, he still let his boyfriend have the authentic Team Avatar experience of pretending to enjoy them.</p><p>            “Sokka tells me you’ve been busy,” Hakoda said to Zuko. “Judging from his letters, it sounds like you’ve repaired half the world.”</p><p>            Zuko was making a face as he swallowed the sea prunes, and Sokka laughed at him, just a little. “It’s really not me, sir. It’s Sokka. He’s worked so hard to rebuild the former colonies and the towns whose entire industry depended on the war. He’s very talented.”</p><p>            “Thank you for noticing,” Sokka said haughtily, then grabbed Zuko’s bowl of sea prunes, to which Zuko did not protest.</p><p>            “I’m glad he’s been able to help. I’m sure he’s told you how much he helped rebuild our tribe here.”</p><p>            Zuko nodded. “Of course. It all looks beautiful.” He flushed again. “Sokka really has a gift.”</p><p>            “Are you talking me up to my own dad?” Sokka asked, bumping his shoulder against Zuko’s. He grinned and watched as Zuko’s face got as red as his scar.</p><p>            “Sokka does love to be flattered,” Hakoda added, which seemed to make Zuko wilt even more.</p><p>            “Oh, he definitely knows that.” Sokka grinned again. How he’d missed his family. “You should hear some of the stuff he says to me.”</p><p>            “We’re all eating, Sokka, so please don’t repeat it,” Pakku said sternly.</p><p>            Zuko spluttered out an indignant “hey!” which only made Sokka laugh more.</p><p>            The general chatter continued, with Sokka bantering back and forth with his father as he ate practically every dish on the table. Zuko, surprisingly, found some food he liked and complimented Gran-Gran relentlessly about her cooking—definitely putting him in her good book. When Gran-Gran and Pakku started to yawn, they headed off for their own igloo, and they all bade each other goodnight.</p><p>            He could tell from the look on his dad’s face that they needed to talk, so when Zuko started to return to their room, Sokka grabbed his wrist to stop him. “I’m gonna talk with my dad for a bit. I won’t be gone super long, I promise.”</p><p>            Zuko just nodded and squeezed his hand, understanding that an important conversation was about to be had.</p><p>            Once Zuko had traipsed down the hall, Sokka turned to face his father.</p><p>            “Hey, Dad,” he started. “It’s really good to see you.”</p><p>            “Come sit, Sokka.” Hakoda patted the area next to him on one of the many pelts that decorated the floor.</p><p>            Even though he knew nothing was wrong, Sokka felt like he was in trouble like when he was little. He half-expected a lecture about not pulling Katara’s hair or not playing with his dad’s weapons.</p><p>            Instead, Hakoda of course asked about the most obvious lion-elephant in the room. “How long have you two been together?”</p><p>            A pit of shame burned in Sokka’s stomach. Time to come clean. “A little over two years now.”</p><p>            “And you never thought to tell us?”</p><p>            Sokka turned away, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on his father’s face. For so long, their family was quite literally all they had, and for Sokka not to share his life with his dad…it must have hurt him a lot. “I’m really sorry. I just—we’ve been so busy doing other stuff, like rebuilding the world, and it just never even crossed my mind to tell you. But I promise it wasn’t on purpose.”</p><p>            Hakoda put his hand on Sokka’s shoulder, and it felt like a hot sauna stone had suddenly wrapped itself around him. “Sokka, look at me.”</p><p>            And he did, but he knew his reluctance was obvious. He still felt like he was in trouble. He hated disappointing his dad more than anything else.</p><p>            “Did you not tell us because you thought we wouldn’t accept you?” The soft tone of Hakoda’s voice surprised him—he wasn’t angry or upset that Sokka had neglected to mention his relationship, just hurt at the thought that Sokka had been worried about what he’d say.</p><p>            “Dad, no.” Sokka looked him back in the eyes. “Never. I knew you would. It never even crossed my mind as a possibility that you wouldn’t accept me. I guess I just got really caught up in my own life, and being away from home…it felt more like you were my coworker than my dad.” He hated to say it, but he knew it was true. His letters to his father had been primarily about rebuilding different cities in the South Pole, or facilitating new trade routes, or an update on the political situation of the tribe.</p><p>            Hakoda sighed. “That’s partly my fault, too. I guess I didn’t really tell you anything that was going on with me, either.”</p><p>            “Why? Is there something you want to tell me?” Sokka couldn’t imagine what news his dad possibly could have been hiding.</p><p>            “No, no. I just wasn’t as forthcoming about my boring daily life as I could’ve been.” He sighed again, and Sokka noticed the wrinkles that had started to line his face. When had that happened?</p><p>            “I don’t want you to think I was choosing Zuko over you, or over the tribe,” Sokka said quietly. “Because I wasn’t. I mean, yeah, I love him, and I want us to be together, but I also felt so restless here. Aang, Katara, and I…we helped so many people, all over the world. And I missed it. I knew I could be doing more, and I wanted to travel again…but it wasn’t ever to get away from you.”</p><p>            His dad wrapped him up in a warm hug. “I know, Sokka. And I’m very proud of you, for all you’ve done, here and elsewhere. I love you so much.”</p><p>            “Love you too, Dad.” Sokka let a few tears roll down his cheeks. The years apart from his father had made every “I love you” feel that much more important, because for so long, he never knew if it would be his last chance to say it.</p><p>            To his surprise, Hakoda also blinked back tears. “Now, you have to tell me. Does he treat you well?”</p><p>            Sokka laughed and sniffled at the same time. “Yes, Dad. Do you really think I would’ve stayed with anyone who didn’t?”</p><p>            “Fair enough.” His dad laughed, and it was the best sound he’d heard in forever, because it was so rare that he got to hear it. “You should go to bed. It’s late, you were travelling all day, and I think Zuko is probably waiting for you.”</p><p>            “Yeah, he is.” Sokka got up and stretched a little. “Thanks, Dad.”</p><p>            “Any time, son. Any time.”</p>
<hr/><p>            Sokka peeled off his shirt and crawled into bed next to Zuko, who rolled over to face him.</p><p>            “Everything okay?” he asked. He took Sokka’s hand in his and kissed it.</p><p>            “Yeah.” Sokka smiled and shimmied closer. “Just needed to clear things up with my dad.”</p><p>            “Your family is really nice. Overwhelming, but nice.” Zuko draped his arm over Sokka’s hips.</p><p>            Sokka laughed. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”</p><p>            They laid there in the dim room, the only light in coming from the candle on Sokka’s desk, and Sokka studied his boyfriend’s features. He loved to do this, to look at how ridiculously toned and muscular Zuko was, at his long eyelashes, even at the scar on his face. He knew Zuko thought it marked him, branded him as a traitor for the rest of his life, a constant reminder of his father. To Sokka, it only reminded him that Zuko had learned right from wrong in spite of his father’s abuse demanding he think otherwise.</p><p>            And, also, that he wanted to kill Ozai for even laying a hand on Zuko.</p><p>            “What’re you looking at?” Zuko whispered.</p><p>            “You, dumbass.” Sokka laughed a little. “Even though it’s night and we’re tired and you’re probably cold, you still look fucking handsome. It’s unfair.”</p><p>            “It’s hard to be cold when you’re around,” Zuko said, sounding so bashful it reminded Sokka of when they’d first gotten together and it seemed like Zuko was constantly about to ask his permission to kiss him or compliment him.</p><p>            Sokka closed the gap between them and kissed Zuko, long and slow, how he knew he liked it. “Glad I can help. Now, where were we earlier…?”</p><p>            Zuko smirked and began to kiss Sokka’s neck again. “I think I was doing this, and you were about to do something ridiculous because you love it so much,” he managed out through kisses.</p><p>            A moan escaped Sokka’s lips, and he sighed. Yes, that something ridiculous was moaning at Zuko’s touch, at how feather-light his lips seemed to be, in comparison to the hardness and sharpness he felt whenever Zuko decided to give him hickeys (something he also loved).</p><p>            He ran his hands across Zuko’s muscular back and wedged his leg between Zuko’s, grinding his knee against his obviously hard boyfriend, which only made Zuko kiss him harder. He was panting, slightly, as he slid his hands down Sokka’s chest and towards his pants.</p><p>            Without meaning to, Sokka started to laugh. His hands flew to cover his mouth, but it was too late.</p><p>            “What?” Zuko sounded annoyed and withdrew his hand. “Are my hands too cold or something?”</p><p>            “No, it’s just—I was just thinking that, if you told me years ago that I’d end up in bed in my own house with the angry kid with the ponytail who I hit with a boomerang, I would’ve assumed you just drank a ton of cactus juice.”</p><p>            Despite the frown on his face, Zuko chuckled, too. “I guess it does seem crazy that the last time I was here I was trying to capture Aang.”</p><p>            Sokka couldn’t help himself. “And now you’re here trying to capture my dick.”</p><p>            “Ugh, Sokka!” Zuko cried. “You’re ridiculous!”</p><p>            “And you love it.” Sokka grinned, and began kissing Zuko again. “I’ll make that bad joke up to you.”</p><p>            Zuko smiled against his lips. “Oh yeah? How?”</p><p>            Sokka let his hands trail down Zuko’s body and grabbed at the waistband of his pants. “I have some ideas.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Family and Other Strange Occurrences</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko and Sokka have a heart-to-heart with Kanna, making Zuko realize how important it is that he tells Sokka he loves him. They arrive on Ember Island to find all of their friends acting strangely.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Spirits, the South Pole was <em>freezing</em>.</p><p>            Of course, that was a ridiculous and obvious observation, but Zuko still couldn’t get used to it. The last time he’d been in this kind of cold was when he’d almost froze to death in the North Pole. Thank Agni that Aang had decided to save him, despite the fact that moments earlier Zuko had been trying to kill him.</p><p>            Zuko tried not to dwell on that memory.</p><p>            Instead, he buried his body deeper underneath the blankets on Sokka’s bed, nestling against his boyfriend for warmth. He had no idea how anyone could survive living in constant winter like this, and he respected Sokka’s family for it all the more.</p><p>            It was strange to be back at the South Pole, stranger still to be treated with such familiarity by Hakoda and Kanna, even though he felt like he hadn’t earned it. But Zuko could see, even just from one night, where Sokka had gotten his sense of humor from, where Katara’s no-nonsense and sometimes bossy attitude had originated. He almost felt jealous, in a way, because all he could hope was that no one could see the similarities between him and any of his family, besides his uncle.</p><p>            Thinking back to how Iroh had called Sokka “nephew” the previous morning, Zuko smiled and sighed. Iroh had, on occasion, called Toph his niece, which Toph had adored, and Zuko didn’t mind at all, because really, Toph was more of a sister to him than Azula ever was. Iroh didn’t see Aang or Katara enough to call them anything, and he couldn’t imagine his uncle ever calling Aang anything besides “the Avatar.”</p><p>            “Do you mean what you said? About Sokka?” he’d asked in the few moments he had before he and Sokka had left. Even though Sokka got along with Iroh (because Sokka got along well with pretty much everyone), Zuko still worried about Iroh’s opinion of his boyfriend.</p><p>            “Zuko,” Iroh had said, in his warm and rumbling voice, “anyone who loves you as much as he does is like family to me.”</p><p>            Beside him, Sokka stirred and pulled Zuko’s arms around him. It was a rare moment that Zuko held Sokka—not because he didn’t want to, but because Sokka always seemed to hold him first.</p><p>            Love. Iroh had said Sokka loved him, and Zuko knew this was true. But in their entire relationship, neither of them had ever said they loved each other. It felt pretty clear to him they both understood they were in love, but Zuko could never figure out the right way to say it. He was bad with words. Words were Sokka’s department. But for some reason, Sokka had never said it either.</p><p>            His one goal for this vacation was to figure out how to tell Sokka how he felt, to find the perfect moment to say it and hope his tongue wouldn’t fail him. He was drawing a blank on when would feel right—now, cuddled up in bed in the early morning? When they had sex? When they were on Ember Island? There were too many possibilities for Zuko to consider.</p><p>            Instead, he buried his head in the crook of Sokka’s neck and let himself drift back to sleep. There would be time to think about it later, when he wasn’t freezing and yawning.</p>
<hr/><p>            Zuko was nervous about breakfast because of how much food he’d had to eat the night before to find something he liked. But to his surprise (and delight), no sea prunes were in sight, and instead Kanna had made them eggs with seal jerky.</p><p>            “What’re you up to today, boys?” Hakoda asked.</p><p>            Sokka spoke with his mouth full. “Before we leave tonight, I wanna talk to you about some trade routes, Dad. Or finding some easier way to get here so we aren’t so isolated.”</p><p>            “Chew with your mouth closed, Sokka,” Kanna scolded.</p><p>            “Sorry,” Sokka mumbled, though his mouth was still open.</p><p>            “Actually, Sokka, I’d like to talk to you boys this morning.” Kanna’s tone made it clear this wasn’t optional, which scared Zuko shitless. Given his experiences with Katara, he did not want to be on her bad side—and he was sure he was acting as polite and respectful as possible, so he wasn’t sure what to make of the situation.</p><p>            Sokka looked at him, equally bewildered, his eyes wide. Zuko knew he was trying to assess how comfortable Zuko was, so he surprised himself when he said, “It’d be an honor to spend the morning with you, Kanna. Er, Gran-Gran.”</p><p>            “Good. Then it’s all settled.” She rose from her chair and started to put on her coat. Zuko was nearly done, anyway, but it still felt abrupt to him.</p><p>            He and Sokka pulled their coats on, and Sokka stuffed the last few bites of his breakfast into his mouth. Zuko took his hand as they followed Kanna out of the igloo, his cheeks flushed from the cold.</p><p>            “Normally, I’d want to have this conversation somewhere where I could show off how beautiful it is here,” she began, “but I don’t think Sokka would be very happy with me if I brought you back to him completely frozen from being outside.”</p><p>            “Uh, thank you.” Zuko looked around the igloo Kanna and Pakku shared, which was more modest than Hakoda’s, but had décor he’d recognized from the Northern Water Tribe. There were still plenty of pelts, but some ceremonial headwear Zuko didn’t recognize was resting on some shelves.</p><p>            Kanna shuffled over to the couch and motioned for Zuko and Sokka to take a seat across from her. It almost felt like he was being interviewed—which, maybe he was, and that was why Kanna had called them aside in the first place.</p><p>            Instead, she completely surprised him when she said, “I want to tell you boys a story. It’s not one I repeat often.”</p><p>            “A story!” Sokka looked delighted and clapped his hands together. “I’ve missed these.”</p><p>            “I’ve mentioned it before, but I sense you might understand it better now.” Kanna looked off in the distance, a faraway look in her eyes.</p><p>            “Thank you for trusting us, Kanna.” Shit. “Sorry, I meant Gran-Gran. I’m really trying hard to—I just feel more respectful if I call you Kanna.” Zuko blanched at how he stumbled over his words, and Sokka laughed at him.</p><p>            “You can call me Kanna.” The elder woman smiled, and Zuko could see a bit of Katara in her face. “Only you, though. Not Sokka.”</p><p>            “Awww. Gran-Kanna and Gran-Pakku sound pretty fun together,” Sokka interjected.</p><p>            Kanna got that faraway look again, and she absent-mindedly reached for her neck, like she was expecting to find a necklace there. “I didn’t always live in the South Pole. I grew up in the Northern Water Tribe. Katara’s necklace is my betrothal necklace, given to me by Pakku when I turned sixteen. It was expected I’d marry him, because that was just how arranged marriages worked.”</p><p>            Zuko was unsure if he should say anything in response, so he chose his usual route: silence, with thoughtful nods here and there. Sokka already seemed bored, probably because he’d heard at least some of this before.</p><p>            “I was so young. I knew there was so much more to the world than the North had to offer. I didn’t want to marry just yet. I had the idea to leave, but it was my sister, Kyame, who convinced me. She was a waterbender, but in the North, women waterbenders are only allowed to learn how to heal, not to bend. She hated that rule, and she taught herself in secret.” Kanna chuckled fondly. “She was an upstart. She already had her foot in the door, so to speak, to leave. But then she did something unheard of: she carved a betrothal necklace for another woman, her girlfriend, Ona.”</p><p>            This surprised Zuko to hear, and he wasn’t really sure why. Granted, he didn’t know very much about the Northern Water Tribe’s customs, but the idea that there had been people like him, Sokka, Toph, and Suki before—it always seemed so impossible, too distant to be believed. Apparently, it was news to Sokka, too, because he stopped slouching and sat back up to pay attention to his grandmother.</p><p>            “The tribal elders were furious with her, and while they were deciding on a punishment, the three of us left to come here. We had hardly anything with us, not even a map, but Kyame’s bending saved us several times on our journey. We had no idea what to expect here, and only had a vague hope that things would be better. Kyame wanted to find a master to truly teach her and to marry Ona, but all I had wanted was just to get out of a place that I felt had decided for me what I was going to be.”</p><p>            That was a feeling Zuko knew too well. The hours he’d spent as a child, agonizing over the future, hearing Azula’s taunts and his father’s scorn echoing around his head, had nearly drove him crazy. Even though it felt like he’d had so few years with his mother, he did have her around when it counted in his early years, because she had soothed all his doubts.</p><p>            And then she’d disappeared, and Zuko was alone. He shifted in his seat and reached out to take Sokka’s hand in his, to try to drown out the reminders that a scene like this never could have occurred with his family.</p><p>            “Things were better here, by a lot. I was allowed to go hunting with the men, and I was pretty good at it. Kyame very quickly became an even better bender, and no one said anything about her and Ona.” Kanna sighed, and Zuko had a feeling that the story was about to turn for the worst. “The only thing was that Kyame and Ona wanted very badly to have a child, but no one would help them. Even as the war started to pick up and children were left without parents, my sister and her wife were never allowed to give those children a home. If they kept their lives private, they were accepted, but asking to have a family—it was just too much at the time.”</p><p>            “But why?” Sokka demanded. “There were so many orphaned kids when the Fire Nation took all the benders. I don’t get it. Nobody here now has a problem with Merre and Heruk and their kids. They’re like everyone’s cool aunts.”</p><p>            “Things were different then,” Kanna replied sharply. “It just wasn’t done. No one would tell them why to their faces, but we all knew their reasoning.”</p><p>            Zuko wondered, briefly, how much the Fire Nation’s intolerance had spread throughout the world, poisoning every single place it touched, or if the Southern Water Tribe had rejected most rules of their sister tribe, with one exception. Had it always been this way, for people like him?</p><p>            “I’m sensing your sister didn’t have a happy ending,” Zuko said, his voice gravelly.</p><p>            A sad smile crossed Kanna’s face. “No, I’m afraid not. She died defending our tribe, and even though Ona was perfectly healthy, she died a few days after. I think her heart was broken. They were each other’s whole worlds, you know.”</p><p>            Zuko swallowed back tears as Sokka squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>            “When my son met a young woman named Kya, I felt like I still had a little part of my sister with me—Kya was my sister’s nickname. I could see her in Katara, and when Pakku told me about how my granddaughter had challenged him to a fight to make him teach her, I knew even though she was gone, she was living on through my children and grandchildren. Something she never got to have.”</p><p>            “Why didn’t you tell us before?” Sokka’s voice was thick with emotion, too, and when Zuko turned to face him, he saw a few stray tears had trailed down his cheeks.</p><p>            Kanna turned away from them then, and it looked like she was holding back tears. Her voice was quiet when she spoke again. “When the war dominated so much of our life, it was the last thing on my mind to bring her up. But if I had known how you felt, that you had feelings for women <em>and </em>men…”</p><p>            Sokka got up to hug Kanna. “I knew you would love me no matter what. It never worried me or even crossed my mind, not for a second. I just wish…I wish you’d told us sooner.”</p><p>            “I know.” Kanna sighed into her grandson’s arms. “I regret not telling you because my sister would have been so proud to see the two of you together. She fought so hard for herself and Ona to be accepted. For her to know it hadn’t been in vain…”</p><p>            Even though Zuko felt stiff at the thought of trying to comfort Kanna, he still sat next to her and hugged her anyway. “I’m sure she knows how you feel,” he said softly. “I never outright told my mother about myself, and she died before I ever even began to allow myself to acknowledge my feelings. But I know she’d be proud, too.”</p><p>            For a moment they all sat there, each in their own worlds of pain and longing and regret. Sokka was rubbing Kanna’s back in a way that was so familial it made Zuko’s heart ache with jealousy.</p><p>            Kanna quickly pulled herself together just as Zuko started to fall apart. “I wish I had gotten the chance to meet your sister. Or anyone else like me. For so much of my life, I believed it was wrong, and I never knew anyone to tell me otherwise.”</p><p>            He couldn’t help his tears, and Kanna cradled him in a way that reminded him of his own mother. Even his own grandmother had never been so affectionate. She smoothed his hair and rubbed his back. Wordlessly, Sokka got up to sit at Zuko’s side.</p><p>            “Go ahead and cry, Zuko,” she whispered to him. “Take your time.”</p><p>            There was so much overwhelming him—how much history about people like him had been lost to time and secrecy, how far the world still had to go in acceptance…and how much more important it felt to tell Sokka he loved him. He owed it to the scores of people who had come before them, who had been excommunicated or died just from being themselves.</p><p>            Once his breathing settled down, Kanna held his shoulders so he would be looking at her. “Never feel ashamed of who you are. Never. There are so many who would be proud to see you two together today, knowing you don’t have to hide like they did.” Another soft smile. “Kyame and Ona would have adored you.”</p><p>            “Thank you for telling me her story, Kanna.” Zuko bowed his head. “I won’t forget it.”</p><p>            To his surprise, Kanna laughed. “Never in a million years did I think I’d be telling this story to the Fire Lord because he was dating my grandson.”</p><p>            “Really, Gran-Gran, I can’t believe <em>that </em>was what it took for you to tell me about your sister.” Sokka slid his arm around Zuko’s waist, and though he was smiling, he could sense that Sokka was hurting, too.</p><p>            Despite how emotional he still felt, Zuko smiled. “I’m so sorry for the way we met years ago. I hope you know I regret every second I spent terrorizing people to get into the good graces of my father. I know I can never make up for what happened to your people, but…”</p><p>            “You were an angry young man then. Now, I see someone who is full of love to give.” Kanna pinched his cheek. “You have already proven yourself to be completely different from your father and grandfather. I think for those of us who survived so many years of pain and suffering, forgiveness won’t come easy. I won’t ever forget what happened to my people. But I know you are not your father. Remember that, Zuko.”</p><p>            If he spoke another word, Zuko knew he’d break down into tears again, so instead, he hugged Kanna close and whispered, “Thank you.”</p><p>            “Besides, you’ve already done the hardest thing in the world,” Sokka teased. “You impressed my Gran-Gran.”</p>
<hr/><p>            Zuko needed time to process everything he’d heard, and even though it was frigid outside, he decided to go for a walk and promised he’d be back in thirty minutes. To his surprise, the icy air felt nice against his skin (what little of it was exposed, anyway), reminding him of how he felt when he drank mint tea.</p><p>            He wondered how many Kyames and Onas his family had kept hidden from the world, how many letters and portraits were burned to erase them from history. If Uncle had known any, he would have said something by then. It only made him feel more alone, more out of place from the family he’d never fit in with from the moment he was born.</p><p>            At least he had Sokka. Sokka, who knew what would upset him and make him uncomfortable and who had never complained, not even once, about how shy Zuko had been in discussing or showing his affections for Sokka in front of others all those years ago. As he approached the igloo, he paused, staring up at the smoke coming out of the chimney at the top. How it worked was a mystery to him, though he had a feeling that Sokka probably had invented something that made it possible for them to have a fireplace without melting their home.</p><p>            Spirits, he loved him. He had to tell him soon. The longer he waited, the more stupid he felt.</p><p>            “I packed our things up,” Sokka told him when he came in the door. “Before you ask, yes, I did fold our clothes.”</p><p>            It seemed that Bato had come by earlier and was sitting next to Hakoda. He sighed. “I had to help him.”</p><p>            “Thanks,” Zuko said with a smile.</p><p>            “I’m sorry we have to leave so soon, Dad.” Sokka went to hug his father. “But you know Katara will kill us if we aren’t there in time to celebrate Aang’s eighteenth birthday.”</p><p>            Both Bato and Hakoda chuckled. “No, best not keep your sister waiting,” Hakoda agreed.</p><p>            As Sokka went around saying his goodbyes, Zuko turned to Kanna. He still felt like he hadn’t thanked her enough for what she’d said. “Thank you for trusting me. Your sister’s story will stay close to my heart. She…reminded me of Sokka, in a way.”</p><p>            Kanna smiled and shook her head. “And she would have loved him. I can only imagine the trouble she would’ve helped him get into.” She paused, then added sternly, “Take good care of my grandson.”</p><p>            “I promise.” Zuko bowed, and Kanna bowed back. Sokka came over to say his goodbyes to her, so Zuko went over to Hakoda and Bato. He bowed to them both.</p><p>            “It’s good to see you again, Bato. I hope you’ve been well.”</p><p>            “See, what’d I tell you? So formal and polite,” Hakoda quipped, though he seemed amused by the situation. He pulled Zuko into a hug.</p><p>            “Thank you for visiting. I’m very glad to see Sokka so happy.”</p><p>            Zuko’s face flushed, and it definitely wasn’t from the cold. “I try my best.”</p><p>            When Hakoda returned to Bato’s side, Zuko remembered how Sokka had off-handedly told him that he thought they’d been together at one time or another. From the close way they were talking, he had to wonder, too.</p><p>            “Fire Lord Zuko,” Pakku said, interrupting his thoughts, and they both bowed at each other.</p><p>            “Master Pakku. I’m sure you’d be interested to hear my uncle is back at the palace hosting a Pai Sho tournament.”</p><p>            To his surprise, the usually stoic Pakku laughed. “Oh, the stories I could tell you about the endless games your uncle somehow roped me and Piandao into at our meetings over the years.”</p><p>            “I can only imagine,” Zuko replied.</p><p>            Then all too quickly, it was time to go, and Sokka was taking his hand and pulling him back to their ship. The second they were outside, Sokka practically exploded.</p><p>            “Did you see what I mean about my dad and Bato?” he asked. “It’s like, there I was, just learning about my cool lesbian great-aunt for the first time, then I find out my dad and Bato were having a ‘closed-door meeting’ that I couldn’t interrupt, and I was packing our stuff, and then Bato appeared out of <em>nowhere</em> to talk to me about you.”</p><p>            “I don’t know,” Zuko replied honestly. “I wasn’t around them long enough to make a judgment.”</p><p>            “He kept telling me he was proud of me, and I was like, ‘For what?’ but he wouldn’t say.” Sokka shook his head. “It was super weird.”</p><p>            And before Zuko knew it, they were in front of their boat. “Well, at least we’ll have some time to figure the weirdness out.”</p><p>            Sokka flashed him a crazy smile. “I can think of something that might distract me from it.”</p>
<hr/><p>            It took a few days to sail to Ember Island, and Zuko knew and accepted that his friends were probably there by now and potentially destroying something (well, at the very least, Toph was). But Zuko didn’t mind it as much as he normally would have, because all he and Sokka seemed to do was laze around and have sex, in seemingly every place imaginable on the boat. Zuko had to veto Sokka’s idea to go fuck around in the captain’s chambers, which really had disappointed him (“Kiss me against the ship’s wheel, c’mon,” Sokka had goaded).</p><p>            At night, while Sokka snored in his deep sleep, Zuko stayed awake wondering what to expect when they’d see their friends again. Surely, by now, Katara was over any grudge she still held against him. Right? And Aang, spirits bless him, probably wouldn’t care either way. Toph and Suki already knew—maybe they had told Katara and Aang already, and all this worrying would be for nothing.</p><p>            He kept telling himself it didn’t matter, because he knew their friends would accept them, but really, it was a matter of whether they’d accept them <em>together</em>. Aang falling for Katara, the first girl he’d seen in a hundred years? Made sense. Toph having a (fake) crush on Sokka, the first guy she’d ever really known? Made sense. Suki and Sokka getting together after only a few shared moments together? Made sense. But somehow, he and Sokka had ended up together, even though they butted heads often and drove each other crazy. Sokka, who was incredibly sociable and skilled at planning and inventing, with Zuko, who was painfully awkward and shy and acted without thinking? It was strange. Out of order. Unexpected.</p><p>            But that was what made them work. They brought out the best in each other. They worked well together—the fact that so much had been accomplished in the two years Sokka had been an ambassador to the Fire Nation was an obvious testament to that fact. And if their friends couldn’t see how much they adored each other, that was their own fault.</p><p>            Really, though—and Zuko would never say it Sokka—it was Katara he was worried about. If Katara didn’t like what was going on around her, she became almost single-minded until she changed it. He’d heard the stories of how she’d helped the earthbenders rebel on the prison barge, how she’d fought Master Pakku until he agreed to train her, how she’d sabotaged an entire factory to save a tiny island drowning in its pollution. Katara would make things right in her own way, and it sometimes seemed that she couldn’t understand why everyone else wasn’t seeing what was wrong. So if she reacted badly to his dating Sokka, he didn’t know how far she’d go to “fix” the situation.</p><p>            Hopefully she’d grown out of it by now, or Aang had helped her understand that things couldn’t always work that way. Otherwise, Zuko imagined a very bleak future in which he became one of the pelts decorating Hakoda’s igloo.</p><p>            He was kidding about that.</p><p>            Mostly.</p>
<hr/><p>            “I think you gave me this many hickeys on purpose,” Zuko remarked as he looked at himself in the mirror. They were nearing Ember Island and had left getting dressed til the last moment.</p><p>            “Yeah, cuz you hate them so much,” Sokka said with a roll of his eyes. He elbowed Zuko a little to get a better look at himself in the small mirror that hung in the bathroom.</p><p>            “Hey—” Zuko began, but Sokka cut him off.</p><p>            “You hate them so much that whenever I give you one, you always say, ‘<em>Fuck, Sokka, yes</em>.’” Sokka was practically moaning as he imitated Zuko.</p><p>            “You’re one to talk, Sokka. The second I even touch your dick you’re like, <em>‘Ugh, Zuko, don’t stop</em>.’” He let his voice get high and nasally to imitate Sokka, which earned him a shove from his boyfriend.</p><p>            “We better knock this shit off before we both get too horny to leave this boat.” Sokka had finally managed to pull his hair up into a wolf-tail. “And for your information, <em>yes</em>, I did maybe give you extra to see what Katara would say. My sister is so nosy, so you know she’ll ask about it.”</p><p>            “Great,” Zuko sighed. “I’m so glad she’ll tease me about my sex life, then strangle me when I tell her my sex life is you only.”</p><p>            “I know, I’m a genius.” Sokka sounded so self-satisfied. “Want me to help with your hair? I wanna go out on the deck.”</p><p>            Zuko turned his back to Sokka so he could pin up the back of his hair, which he could never manage to do himself. “We’re not going to see whatever sea monster it is that you made up, Sokka.”</p><p>            “The Ember Island Night Swimmer is <em>not </em>made up!” Sokka cried indignantly. “Just because <em>you </em>don’t believe doesn’t mean it isn’t real.”</p><p>            Zuko knew better than to try to argue this with Sokka, so once they had finished getting ready and went out onto the deck, he humored him by pretending to search for the very fake legendary creature he’d made up on one of their many sleepless nights.</p><p>            Up on the deck, he grabbed a spare pair of binoculars in spite of himself and stared out at the sea. “You know, if the creature is called the Night Swimmer, shouldn’t we be looking at night?”</p><p>            “Why are you using the binoculars if you can only see out of one eye? Wouldn’t that just make it a telescope?” Sokka countered.</p><p>            “Huh. Good point. Let’s switch.” He handed the binoculars over to Sokka and grabbed his telescope. In reality, he was scanning the shores of Ember Island, trying to see how busy it looked and admiring how blue and beautiful the waters were.</p><p>            Even though their boat was slowing down, an ocean spray was still misting their faces, and it felt good to be in the sun again. Zuko lowered the telescope and wrapped his arm around Sokka, pressing a kiss to his temple.</p><p>            “I’m glad we’re doing this,” he said, but there were more words lingering on his lips. This moment—it had to be perfect, right? Just the two of them, looking out on the water, feeling the nice ocean breeze, not a care in the world—this was when he had to say it. But his hands got clammy and his jaw locked shut, and his brain, unhelpfully, kept intoning “I love you, I love you, I love you,” like he had somehow forgotten that was what he wanted to say.</p><p>            “It’ll be a good week,” Sokka agreed. He turned to press a kiss to Zuko’s lips. “Don’t worry about Katara. I’m sure everything will be fine.”</p><p>            “Right.”</p><p>            The spell of the moment was broken, however, when they reached the shore near Zuko’s old vacation home. It had since been redone, scrubbed clean of all its bad memories, but there was still something eerie about returning to it so many years later, this time with a new family—one that actually loved him.</p><p>            “There they are!” Toph shouted, and Zuko wondered how she’d known, until moments later, Katara shouted back.</p><p>            “Will you please stop doing that? That’s the tenth time today!”</p><p>            “No, she’s telling the truth!” Suki yelled, and she waved wildly to them. Toph was at her side, facing the complete wrong direction, of course.</p><p>            “Ready?” Sokka asked. He intertwined his fingers with Zuko’s and gave his hand a squeeze.</p><p>            “I don’t think I have a choice.”</p><p>            By the time the ramp had been lowered, Sokka was practically jumping up and down with excitement. Sokka abandoned him to go hug everyone immediately while Zuko was left to toss a set of keys to their crew, to another house nearby. They deserved a vacation, too.</p><p>            “Sokka, put me down!” Suki squealed just as Zuko stepped onto the shore, bags in hand. Sokka was nearly a head taller than her now, giving him the clear advantage in this situation.</p><p>            Toph found him quickly and punched him on the arm, making him drop his bags. “Try that on me and you’re dead.”</p><p>            “Believe me, I had no plans to.” Zuko rubbed at his arm and felt prematurely sore from the amount of punches he knew he was going to receive from Toph over the week. “But I’d still like to hug you, if you’ll let me.”</p><p>            “Ugh, I guess.” Toph wrapped her lean, toned arms around him and rested her head against his chest.</p><p>            “I missed you,” Zuko said softly into her hair, like he always did when they were together, knowing only Toph would hear him.</p><p>            “Missed you too, Fire Jerk,” Toph replied against his chest. “But that’s just between us.”</p><p>            If nothing else, he’d at least get to be amused while he spent the week with her.</p><p>            “Flameo, hotman!” he heard Aang cry, and just as Zuko turned to see where he was, a huge blast of wind hit him in the face. Aang flew through the air and landed in front of him.</p><p>            “Since when are you taller than me?” Zuko observed. He had always been the tallest in the group, but Aang had outgrown him in their time apart. Looking up to talk to him—after years of having to look down—was strange.</p><p>            “I dunno, probably since whenever I grew. I bet Katara will know.” Aang clapped a hand on Zuko’s shoulder and let out one of his bubbly, boisterous laughs. “It’s been too long, Sifu Hotman.”</p><p>            “I wish you wouldn’t call me that,” Zuko sighed. “But I’ve missed you too, Aang.”</p><p>            “Oh, he definitely is a hotman,” Sokka chimed in, prompting a disgusted face from Toph.</p><p>            “Well, he has to be, he’s a firebender,” Aang said plainly.</p><p>            This was going to be harder than Zuko had initially thought.</p><p>            Katara then came running down from the house. “Sokka!” Her voice was full of joy, her smile almost as large as her brother’s. She wrapped him up in a hug and didn’t let go for a while.</p><p>            Zuko knew better than to try to interrupt, so he turned to Suki. “Hey, Suki. How are you?”</p><p>            “Better, now that you’re here.” She cast a conspiratorial glance at Toph. “I swear, those two can be so boring.”</p><p>            “Seriously, wait’ll you hear the way they talk to each other,” Toph confirmed grimly. “It’s so gross.”</p><p>            Great. Even better. He knew Sokka wouldn’t be able to resist the chance to try and one-up how overly affectionate Katara and Aang could be, which probably meant embarrassing Zuko in some way or another.</p><p>            Katara and Sokka were still talking animatedly, and Aang had joined them. Zuko stared at the two women before him with what was probably a very pitiful expression on his face.</p><p>            “I see you two have been having some fun.” Suki smirked and pointed at his neck.</p><p>            “Shut up,” he hissed. “This is part of Sokka’s plan to force Katara to ask us if we’re together. Not one of his best.”</p><p>            “Wait, what are you talking about?” Toph asked. “What did you mean, ‘having fun’? Does he have sex hair or something?”</p><p>            “Hickeys,” Suki quickly replied before continuing on. “I thought Aang and Katara knew you were together?”</p><p>            Zuko sighed and shook his head. “Sokka never got around to bringing it up.”</p><p>            “I mean, they have to know, right?” Toph frowned. “It’s not like it’s a secret.”</p><p>            “You know, that’s exactly what he said.”</p><p>            Speak of the devil. Sokka appeared with Katara at his side, and she hugged Zuko. She seemed to be practically glowing in the sunshine. “It’s good to see you, Zuko.”</p><p>            couldn’t get another word in, though, because Aang very abruptly said, “Right, well, see you later, guys! Bye!” and scampered off towards the house.</p><p>            The second he was gone, Katara pulled away. “Guess I’ll see you at dinner!” She seemed distracted. “I have to go work on something, uh, right now. Bye!” And off she went in the opposite direction of Aang.</p><p>            “…what’s up with them?” Sokka asked, and both Suki and Toph sighed in unison.</p><p>            “Katara’s working on Aang’s birthday present—” Toph began.</p><p>            “—and Aang’s working on his proposal to Katara,” Suki finished.</p><p>            “Oh, boy,” Sokka groaned. “You mean this whole week, they’re gonna be like this?”</p><p>            “Afraid so.” A mischievous smile crossed Suki’s face. “Go on up to your room, boys, we’ll see you later.”</p><p>            Toph smirked in response and looped her arm through Suki’s. “Later, nerds.”</p><p>            And then they were gone too, leaving Zuko and Sokka completely bewildered.</p><p>            “What’s up with <em>them</em>?” Sokka asked. “I mean, that was weird, right?”</p><p>            “Definitely weird,” Zuko agreed. “Did something happen between those two that you didn’t tell me about?”</p><p>            Sokka grabbed their bags and started to walk towards the house. “Believe me, if there was, I would’ve told you.”</p><p>            They started their walk up to the house, and Zuko cast an uneasy glance behind him. Why was everyone acting so strangely? They’d all come on this vacation to be together, but it seemed like they’d all be spending their days apart.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As usual, I love hearing from you guys, and if you leave a comment it seriously makes my day! Come holler at me about Zukka on <a href="http://thelesbiansfromnextdoor.tumblr.com">my tumblr</a> some time. :) Also sorry that this is appearing twice, not sure what AO3 is doing here.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Bad Ideas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sokka's the idea guy, but it seems like every single one he's thought of lately has backfired. Zuko gets soft and Sokka gets confused.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Dating Zuko had its perks sometimes, like getting the biggest room in his house on Ember Island. All the rooms were nice, but the view from this room was unbeatable, <em>and </em>it had a balcony. The moment they were in the room, Sokka tossed their bags on the bed and threw open the doors. He took in a ridiculous inhale of the fresh air like he’d been trapped underground for days, and even though Zuko laughed at him, it still felt good. The breeze tickled his face and mussed a few of the loose strands of his hair. This was definitely going to be a good vacation.</p><p>            Alright, so everyone was weird from the second they got there, but at least they were going to be able to go to the beach and swim all day—they couldn’t exactly do that at the Fire Nation Capital or in the South Pole. Who cared if Aang and Katara were off in their own little worlds or Suki and Toph were definitely, definitely hooking up? At least he and Zuko could spend time together without having to worry about a disgruntled minister or advisor interrupting them.</p><p>            Sokka stripped out of his clothes and into his swimwear. “C’mon, the water looked so nice. Let’s not waste time up here.”</p><p>            “Fine by me,” Zuko agreed, and Sokka watched with butterflies in his stomach as Zuko peeled his tunic off. He was so damn attractive, and he barely even realized it, and that just made him even <em>more </em>attractive to Sokka.</p><p>            “Seems like we’ll get the beach to ourselves,” he said flirtatiously.</p><p>            Zuko smirked and took his hand. “Oh yeah? What do you have in mind?”</p><p>            “Hmmm…I can watch you get a tan for as long as I want without anyone telling me to do something else.” Sokka sighed happily as they bounded down the stairs. “Or kiss you in the sand…do <em>other </em>stuff in the sand…”</p><p>            Zuko hummed and chuckled, grabbing some stray towels and an umbrella by the door. They stepped out onto the beach, and the sand was pleasantly warm and tickled Sokka’s toes. They set themselves up near a rock not too far from the shore, and Zuko lounged under the umbrella. Their towels were side by side, and Sokka inched closer so Zuko could lay his head on his chest.</p><p>            “What’s with the umbrella, dude? Afraid of getting a tan?” he teased.</p><p>            “No. Afraid of getting burned.” Zuko closed his eyes as Sokka rested a hand on his head, gently stroking his hair.</p><p>            Sokka chuckled. “Heh. You’re afraid of getting burned.”</p><p>            “What’s funny about that? You want me to be cranky all week because my skin is peeling off?”</p><p>            Sokka laughed some more. “No, dumbass, you, a firebender, are afraid of getting burned.”</p><p>            Zuko cracked open his scarred eye at Sokka, his pupil darting wildly around, unseeing. “I am not a fan of getting burned.”</p><p>            Ah, shit. Sokka forgot about that. But it wasn’t like the sun was going to personally shoot flames at him—well, he could only hope. “Aw, c’mon. Lighten up.”</p><p>            “Me? Get lighter? When I’m already this pale?”</p><p>            “Is that a joke? Are you joking with me, your fieriness?”</p><p>            Sokka could see Zuko start to smile, his cheeks turning pink with a blush. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.</p><p>            “Maybe. Did it work? Did I…tell it right?” Zuko’s hand found its way to Sokka’s, and his thumb stroked Sokka’s hand gently.</p><p>            “Mmm, 7/10. You’re getting there. You gotta be more confident, dude.”</p><p>            Zuko sighed. “I’ll try to remember that going forward,” he mumbled against Sokka’s skin, then closed his eyes again.</p><p>            Even though he wasn’t tired, Sokka followed Zuko’s lead and closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the waves and leaves rustling in the trees. It was peaceful, calm…and he felt no apprehensions, no worries about taking up too much of Zuko’s time because they both had work to do. He couldn’t believe it had been so long since they’d last taken a vacation of any kind.</p><p>            Zuko’s breathing slowed, and Sokka found himself drifting off a little, too. He loved these lazy moments with Zuko, loved how he got to see the softer side of him that few others even knew about. Actually, when it came down to it. He just loved Zuko. Just before he fell asleep, he felt dimly aware that he’d never actually told Zuko that. Huh.</p><p>            But it wasn’t for long, because it seemed like the second he started to dream, he was interrupted by someone gently shaking his shoulder.</p><p>            “Sokka?” the voice asked, and Sokka didn’t recognize it at first.</p><p>            “What?” he said, unable to keep the annoyance out of his voice.</p><p>            Oh. It was just Aang—the kid’s voice had gotten deeper every time Sokka had seen him, and it was still new and strange to him.</p><p>            “I could really use your help.” Aang bit his lip and shifted back and forth. “Um, it’s something for Katara.”</p><p>            Ugh, the proposal thing. “Can it wait? We’re kind of comfortable.” He gestured at himself and Zuko, who had also woken up.</p><p>            For a moment, things were quiet, and Sokka wondered if Aang was taking in the scene before him—Sokka and Zuko cuddled up with each other, asleep on the beach, their hands tangled together. He had to have <em>something</em> to say about it, right?</p><p>            “I dunno, I guess…” Aang looked so crestfallen.</p><p>            He couldn’t say no to that face, damn it. “Alright, alright.” With a sigh, Sokka shifted himself out from underneath Zuko, who looked equally unhappy at Sokka’s departure. Sokka kissed his hand as an apology.</p><p>            “I’ll still be here, waiting for you when you’re done,” Zuko said, but Aang had already grabbed Sokka and was dragging him away from the beach.</p><p>            There was a little outcropping in the trees near the house where they had had campfires in the past. Aang’s glider rested against the trunk of a palm tree, and Momo was chittering as he darted around chasing after a bug. A few crumpled-up pieces of paper lay discarded on a rock, and Sokka got the sense this must have been where Aang had been trying to plan his proposal for the past few days.</p><p>            “I need your help.” Aang started to pace around, and Momo flew up onto his shoulder. “I have something I want to ask your sister—that is, something to ask Katara about, and I feel like you’re the expert at like, Katara, and things, and romance…”</p><p>            Sokka blinked at him, uncomprehending. Romance expert? Since when? What had he done to earn that title?</p><p>            “Uh…because I’m dating Zuko?” he asked, aware of how stupid he sounded.</p><p>            “You’re Katara’s brother,” Aang continued on, like he hadn’t even stopped speaking before. “You know what she likes, and I mean, <em>I </em>know what she likes but this is something really big so maybe—”</p><p>            “You want my help asking Katara to marry you,” Sokka plainly stated. He couldn’t hide the disappointment in his voice, though, that Aang had somehow ignored every single thing Sokka had said and done with Zuko over the past ten minutes. True, Aang could get distracted when he was intently focusing on one thing, but it seemed like a pretty big thing to ignore.</p><p>            Or maybe Sokka wasn’t making it a big enough thing, making it seem like something they could ignore because he wasn’t saying anything about it. Was that it? Did he need to make it <em>clearer </em>he and Zuko were together? Did it seem like it didn’t matter to him, and that’s why Katara and Aang completely ignored it?</p><p>            “Yes.” Aang sat on the ground and dropped his head in his hands. “I love Katara so much—”</p><p>            “I know you do, buddy,” Sokka said before Aang could go on a tangent about all the things he liked about his sister.</p><p>            “I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” Aang sighed. “We’ve been together for six years. We already live together and do everything together. I know she loves me, and she knows I love her, but I just don’t know how to bring it up.”</p><p>            “Boy, can’t relate to that,” Sokka muttered under his breath. He cleared his throat. “Okay, well, you know all the kinds of things Katara likes, right?”</p><p>            “I mean, yeah, but is that enough? I feel like it should be special…like maybe I should freeze myself in an iceberg again, and you can make her mad, and she’ll break it open and I’ll be like, ‘Surprise! Please marry me!’” Aang looked up at Sokka for any sort of reaction and grimaced when he saw Sokka’s face.</p><p>            “Okay, maybe let’s…shelve that idea for later, as a backup. Or like a last resort.” Sokka hoped his voice was gentle enough as he took a seat next to Aang.</p><p>            Momo flitted over to him and settled in his lap. He scratched the little lemur’s head, and he realized how much he’d missed their old pet.</p><p>            “If our visit to that hack Aunt Wu forever ago was any indication, you know Katara is looking for something majorly romantic. So like…maybe her favorite flowers…on a ride…on Appa?” It was a weak attempt, and he knew it, but it wasn’t like he thought often about what Katara considered romantic. In fact, he preferred to avoid thinking about that topic at all.</p><p>            “Aunt Wu!” Aang shouted, sitting up straight. His voice startled Momo.</p><p>            “Aang, you are <em>not </em>going to find that faker to ask how to propose to Katara,” Sokka said sternly. “Besides, don’t you think Katara would get suspicious if you, I dunno, <em>left </em>our vacation to go somewhere else without her?”</p><p>            “You’re probably right,” Aang groaned. “But that puts me back at square one. How did proposals work in the Southern Water Tribe? I know you guys didn’t use betrothal necklaces…”</p><p>            Sokka scratched the back of his neck. He’d never really paid attention to any of that stuff when he was a kid—they had real problems that actually needed addressing. And when all the men were gone, all relationships seemed to be put on hold. “I…don’t really know. Did you ask my dad how he proposed to my mom?”</p><p>            “Well, yeah, but it wasn’t really my style, or Katara’s style.” Momo had returned to Aang, and Aang was petting him so forlornly that it almost made Sokka laugh. “Our relationship is unique. We saved the world together, you know? We became waterbending masters together. If it hadn’t been for Katara, I would still be in an iceberg, and maybe the Fire Nation would have succeeded in taking over the world. There’s no one else alive who’s shared a relationship like ours, I don’t think.”</p><p>            Sokka shuddered at the thought of what could have been if he hadn’t angered Katara all those years ago, if Aang had never left the iceberg. “What about at the Southern Air Temple? How did proposals work there?”</p><p>            Aang sighed. “I don’t know. People didn’t really get married. I mean, mostly everyone was a monk or a nun. We were all sort of a community of people, like one big family…I know people were in long-term relationships with each other, but I never saw a commitment ceremony or anything else similar while I was growing up.”</p><p>            Well, that sucked, and Sokka was running out of ideas. And he was the idea guy! “What about…if you made the clouds spell, ‘Will you marry me, Katara?’?” he tried. “Eh?”</p><p>            “I guess that could work, but…”</p><p>            “I know, I know, you don’t need to say it,” Sokka grumbled. He was at a loss on how to help. He had never felt more out of touch with Katara than he did in that moment. His sister had grown up into a woman without him, and now he had to play catch-up to learn about who she was. “Why don’t you ask one of the girls? And by one of the girls, I mean Suki, because I don’t think Toph will give you any helpful advice.”</p><p>            “I’ll try,” Aang mumbled. “Thanks, Sokka.”</p><p>            “Sorry I couldn’t help more. I’ll let you know if I think of anything, though.”</p><p>            With that, he left to return to Zuko, but he had an uncomfortable feeling he couldn’t shake. They had all grown so much together in the short year they’d spent fighting and winning the war, but now they were adults, with adult problems, and Sokka didn’t know how to help them since they weren’t together 24/7 like they used to be. And he really didn’t like how much he had struggled to think of something that Katara would like. Their two years apart had maybe been too long.</p><p>            He couldn’t decide if it was more his fault or hers.</p><hr/><p>            To get out of his weird funk, Sokka and Zuko made out for a few hours, and he welcomed the distraction. He hadn’t really talked at all to Katara yet, and for some reason, he was dreading doing it. The idea of telling Katara about him and Zuko reminded him of the time Aang had made them ride in the mail chutes of Omashu: hurtling forwards at a high speed, bound to collide with something eventually. And he had a feeling that something would be an angry Katara.</p><p>            Zuko had sensed something was wrong, so while they were waiting around for the dinner Aang and Katara were making them, he wrapped his arms around Sokka on the couch and gently stroked his back. Suki and Toph were across from them (Suki in a chair and Toph, of course, on the ground), and Suki seemed to be giving Toph some sort of scalp massage. It was the first time Sokka had ever seen Toph let anyone near her hair. It was strange, and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.</p><p>            “So he wanted your help?” Suki asked, keeping her voice to a whisper. “And you told him to come to <em>me </em>instead?”</p><p>            “Look at the other two options!” Sokka cried, struggling to keep his voice quiet. He gestured between Zuko and Toph. “I mean, no offense to you two, but I feel like neither of you would offer anything helpful.”</p><p>            Toph pouted. “It’s because we’re <em>blind</em>, isn’t it?!” But he could hear the smile in her words.</p><p>            “I’m not totally blind, Toph,” Zuko reminded her with a sigh.</p><p>            “Fine. It’s because we’re blind and a half.” This made Suki burst out into giggles, and Toph blushed bright red. “Have you heard how those two talk to each other yet? How totally gross they get?”</p><p>            As if on schedule, Katara’s voice drifted in from the kitchen. “Oh, thank you, sweetheart, you didn’t have to do that.”</p><p>            “It’s not a problem, sweetie, really,” Aang responded.</p><p>            “I’m gonna barf. I’m so serious, I’m gonna barf.” Toph flopped back against Suki’s legs. “They <em>never</em>. <em>Stop</em>.”</p><p>            “At least it’s not ‘pookie’ and ‘sugar’ anymore,” Suki added with disgust. “Can I braid your hair, Toph?”</p><p>            Sokka was glad the earthbender couldn’t see the look he shot at Zuko, who seemed equally confused at the display of affection before them. They both watched, mystified, as Suki began to loosen Toph’s hair from its bun.</p><p>            “Ty Lee taught me how to braid,” she said, as if they were confused about the choice of hairstyle and not Toph’s sudden agreement to letting someone else touch her hair.</p><p>            “You know something weird?” Sokka asked, even though everything felt off. He was unable to shake the weirdness of this entire situation, of every little coupling around him acting so strangely. “I said to Aang that I was dating Zuko, and it was like he didn’t even hear me.”</p><p>            “He didn’t ask you about us on the beach?” Zuko shifted his arms down around Sokka’s waist, so Sokka could lay back against his chest.</p><p>            Toph’s usual shit-eating grin reappeared. “What were you doing on the beach?”</p><p>            Sokka rolled his eyes. “Cuddling. And no, he didn’t ask. Like, <em>none </em>of this seemed to register. I think he’s really stressed out about the you-know-what for Katara.”</p><p>            “Speaking of you-know-whats,” Zuko cut in, “what did you guys get Aang for his you-know-what?”</p><p>            Toph’s hair was completely loose now, and Sokka wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen it look any other way <em>besides</em> her usual hairdo. Suki’s hands were gentle and nimble, and within seconds, Toph’s hair was in a braid. She reached up a hand to feel the back of her head.</p><p>            “Thanks, Suki.” She pulled the braid over her shoulder, and it was barely long enough to sit on her shoulder blade. “I made him a little stone statue of him and Katara. I just thought it’d be cool, but I guess now they could put it on their wedding cake or something.”</p><p>            “Their <em>you-know-what </em>cake,” Suki joked. “I got Aang an early copy of the book I’ve been writing about Kyoshi’s life. I thought he’d probably find it interesting. What about you guys?”</p><p>            Sokka sat up to face Zuko. “Oh no.”</p><p>            “We completely forgot. Shit,” Zuko hissed. “He’s already hard to buy for because he’s a monk <em>and </em>the Avatar, and now we have an even shorter time to figure it out!”</p><p>            “Do…do you think we could say our company was the gift?” Sokka tried lamely. The look on Suki’s face told him that no, they absolutely could not say that.</p><p>            Suki’s eyes drifted over to the doorway behind her, and she made a quick gesture to let them know their discussion was over—Aang and Katara were carrying the food they’d made over to the table.</p><p>            “Dinner!” Aang called. “We made some really good dumplings.”</p><p>            When they were all seated around the table, Sokka looked up from his food to find Aang and Katara, once again, being disgustingly affectionate. He tried to tune out the myriad of compliments they were showering on each other, but it was nearly impossible. No one else was talking, so there was nothing else to listen to.</p><p>            Two could play at this game. Or, technically, four could.</p><p>            Sokka grabbed a dumpling off his plate and tapped Zuko on the arm. “Baby,” he said in a voice so sleazy even he was creeped out, “let me feed you this dumpling.”</p><p>            Zuko blinked a few times before scowling at him. Sokka looked back and forth between his boyfriend and Katara and Aang, hoping he’d understand that they were now engaged in a war for Katara’s attention.</p><p>            Sokka held the dumpling up in the air and waggled his eyebrows, which only made Zuko scowl at him more. This was so, so not their style as a couple, at all. He kind of hated himself for being this disgusting.</p><p>            Well, he could make it up to Zuko later.</p><p>            “I’m going to eat it only to make you stop,” Zuko mumbled as he took a bite out of the dumpling between Sokka’s chopsticks.</p><p>            Aang, finally, had noticed what was going on, and he cocked his head with curiosity. “You guys don’t need to share food, we made plenty to go around!” Ugh. Poor kid probably thought he was being helpful.</p><p>            Sokka forced a smile. “Yeah, but when you’re dating someone, you share your food with them.”</p><p>            Katara shot him a suspicious look. “Sure, but will you stop bothering Zuko with…whatever this is that you’re doing?”</p><p>            Both Sokka and Zuko groaned, and Toph tentatively said, “Katara, come <em>on</em>…”</p><p>            But then Katara said something to Aang, and the two were back in their own little world.</p><p>            Okay, so he needed to do something more obvious. He slipped his arm around Zuko’s waist, which got no reaction. He leaned his head on Zuko’s shoulder—still, nothing. He wanted to kiss Zuko just to see what would happen, but he knew Zuko’s patience was already wearing thin, so he decided he’d stay like this for the rest of dinner.</p><p>            “Can we all hang out at the beach tomorrow?” Toph asked. “I thought we all came here because, you know, we never see each other anymore.”</p><p>            “Toph, you know I have—” Katara began, before being interrupted by Aang.</p><p>            “I’m kinda busy, so—”</p><p>            “Alright, alright,” Toph grumbled. “Sokka, Zuko, tell me you guys are in?”</p><p>            Zuko sighed and wiped his mouth with his napkin. He looked so dainty, and Sokka giggled at him. “If we can actually relax on the beach without being interrupted, then yes.”</p><p>            “Sorry, guys.” Katara actually sounded apologetic, but she wasn’t looking in Sokka’s direction. It almost felt like she was <em>pointedly </em>not looking his way. “Hopefully I’ll be done with my work, um, soon.”</p><p>            “Psssht, work.” Finally, Katara’s eyes darted over to him. “Even Zuko and I are taking a break. And he’s the Fire Lord!”</p><p>            He wanted to recognize something in his sister’s face, anything—any sign that she cared about what was going on, any sign that she would stop worrying about Aang’s birthday for a little bit—but he saw nothing. She rolled her eyes at him and looked away.</p><p>            “Yeah, cuz you’re <em>so </em>busy, Sokka.”</p><p>            Sokka was not appreciating her tone. Even if he didn’t talk about his personal life with her, he still shared the details of the ongoing work he and Zuko were doing across the world. Besides, which one of them had actually come up with the ideas to rebuild the South Pole? Oh, that’s right—he had.</p><p>            “I don’t see you founding a new country to help ease tensions, <em>Katara</em>,” he said, dragging out each syllable in her name. He felt a hand on his knee, and he found Zuko staring back at him, quietly shaking his head to tell him it wasn’t worth it. But he couldn’t stop himself. “Last time I checked, <em>I </em>was the one who came up with the idea for the Republic of Nations.”</p><p>            “I’ve been busy on Air Temple Island,” Katara shot back. “You know, helping to preserve the culture of our friend, whose entire people was wiped out?”</p><p>            “We’ve all been busy,” Zuko said with unease. “Right? Aang?”</p><p>            Aang had been watching the exchange with a mixture of hurt and confusion on his face. Sokka knew he hated to watch his friends fight (especially when the friends in question were his soon-to-be fiancée and future brother-in-law), and he felt bad that he was mixed up in all of this mess, just by virtue of dating Katara.</p><p>            “Um…I’m gonna go get dessert,” Aang offered. “Be right back.”</p><p>            “I’ll help.” Suki stood up and caught Sokka’s eye. He knew from that look that she was holding back what she actually wanted to say, and he was almost guaranteed to hear about it later.</p><p>            Well, great. Now everyone was mad at him, all because Katara wouldn’t just <em>pay attention </em>to what was right in front of her for one second! That wasn’t fair.</p><p>            “Stop fighting, or I’m gonna bend you both straight through this roof.” Toph stood up and pointed a menacing finger at no one in particular.</p><p>            “The floor is made of wood, Toph.” Katara rolled her eyes and opened her mouth, probably to insult Sokka again, but Toph wouldn’t let her.</p><p>            “Yeah? Fuck around and find out, Sugar Queen.” A column of stone came bursting through the floor, startling everyone. “What did you think this house was built on top of? Air?”</p><p>            Zuko huffed and pulled away from Sokka. “Take it outside if you’re going to fight.”</p><p>            “Dessert!” Aang cried, a little too loudly, as he and Suki brought in trays of sweet pies from the kitchen. They spread the dishes across the table in silence, no one seeming to make eye contact with each other.</p><p>            Well, at least eating in silence meant Katara and Aang would stop being over-affectionate and gross in front of everyone. The pies were good, but Sokka was still fuming at Katara. They spent two years apart, and this was how she was treating him? And making him act like an imbecile in front of everyone, and annoying his boyfriend?</p><p>            “Suki, do we have any wine left?” Toph said, probably a little louder than she had intended.</p><p>            Suki looked like she was ready for any excuse to get her out of the room. “I think we drank it all, but we can go buy more.”</p><p>            “Ugh, please.” Toph stood up and Suki took her hand, and they left the room without saying goodbye. Something was definitely going on between them, Sokka decided.</p><p>            Zuko had stood up and began clearing the plates off the table. Aang started to join him, then a huge grin crossed his face.</p><p>            “Hey, check this out,” he said, and he somehow managed to send the dirty plates off to the kitchen on a gust of wind. “I mean, I broke a few plates when I was figuring it out for the first time, but I think the end result was worth it.”</p><p>            Sokka had to admit, it was pretty cool, and he’d have to ask Aang later how he’d managed it, given that plates generally didn’t float on the breeze. The table was cleared so much more quickly with Aang’s trick.</p><p>            “Okay, well, me and Zuko are gonna head in for the night,” Sokka began, “you know, going to the room we <em>share</em> because we’re dat—”</p><p>            “Are you guys having a sleepover?” Aang interjected, eyes wide. “Can I come?”</p><p>            Zuko shot Sokka a withering glance. “You wouldn’t like this sleepover.”</p><p>            “Why not?” Now Aang was pouting. “Hanging out with your friends late at night is fun.”</p><p>            Zuko looked at him again and made a frustrated gesture with his hands. Sokka shrugged, at a loss as to how he could possibly explain this to Aang.</p><p>            “Because we’re together,” Sokka began. “You know, like—”</p><p>            “Okay, I get it, you don’t want to hang out with me!” It was very unlike Aang to just storm off, but it really seemed like he was about to do just that. “Whatever, me and Katara will have our own sleepover.”</p><p>            Sokka threw his hands in the air and headed for the stairs, not even bothering to check if Zuko was following him. His sister and Aang were impossible. This was an impossible task. Why couldn’t he have just brought this up in a stupid letter? That would’ve been so much easier than this!</p><p>            When he got to their room, he went straight out onto the balcony and breathed in the ocean breeze. He heard the sound of the door shutting behind him, and he knew Zuko had been following him after all.</p><p>            “I know you’re probably mad at me.” Sokka put his head in his hands and leaned up against the railing. “I just—this whole situation—”</p><p>            “Sokka.” Zuko was behind him, his warm hand on Sokka’s shoulder, but Sokka couldn’t bear to face him.</p><p>            “I know I messed up by not telling them sooner, okay?” Sokka added miserably. “But it’s like they aren’t even hearing a word I’m saying!”</p><p>            “Sokka.”</p><p>            “I tried! You saw me try to tell them, and Aang cut me off and totally misunderstood the whole thing!”</p><p>            Zuko sighed. “Will you please look at me for one second?”</p><p>            Reluctantly, Sokka turned around. Zuko gently pulled Sokka’s hands away from his face and held them close to his chest. “I’m not mad.”</p><p>            “I’d be mad if I were you.” Sokka sighed. “I mean, all of that was annoying, and it backfired so much, and—”</p><p>            “Was it annoying? Yes. It did annoy me. But…” Zuko released his hands and wrapped his arms around Sokka’s waist. “But we’ve been together two years. It wasn’t more annoying than anything else you’ve done before. It’s one of the things I, uh, l-like about you.”</p><p>            “I’m still sorry.” Sokka couldn’t hide his smile.</p><p>            “Apology accepted.” Zuko kissed Sokka then, still surprising Sokka with his gentleness and softness. “We’ll figure out what to do later. For now, I just want to…”</p><p>            He kissed Sokka again, his tongue gently probing into Sokka’s mouth, his lips still slightly chapped from the cold in the South Pole. When Zuko pulled away for air, he rested his forehead against Sokka, his eyes closed.</p><p>            “I really…” Zuko started, then stopped, then cleared his throat. It was a little weird, Sokka had to admit, but no weirder than anything else that had happened in the past 24 hours. “I…you…”</p><p>            “You’re speechless,” Sokka said. He felt so warm, so happy, so secure in this moment. He didn’t want to break away or move or do anything that would stop whatever was happening. “And I didn’t even do anything.”</p><p>            Zuko sighed softly, his breath tickling Sokka’s cheeks. One of Zuko’s hands slowly drifted up to cup Sokka’s face, his fingers gently stroking his skin. Sokka’s heart fluttered like it used to before he and Zuko had gotten together, when every accidental touch between them felt like a tantalizing taste of some forbidden fruit he’d never get to eat. He hadn’t realized he’d barely been breathing at Zuko’s touch until his chest started to get tight.</p><p>            “Sokka, you…” Another noise of frustration escaped Zuko’s lips. “I…really care for you…”</p><p>            “I know.” Sokka wasn’t sure why he was whispering, almost like if he spoke at full volume, he’d scare Zuko off. “You don’t need to tell me. I understand.”</p><p>            And he did. Zuko struggled with the right words, sure, but his actions more than made up for it. The way he stared at Sokka like he was an oasis in a desert, a shooting star, a rainbow in the rain…so rare, but so beloved. The way he always seemed to know when Sokka needed to feel his touch to stay grounded, the way he smiled when they sparred together and Sokka managed to surprise him, the way he nestled against Sokka when they slept…Sokka adored it. Him. All of their time together.</p><p>            Sokka kissed him again, and whispered, “c’mon, let’s go inside,” against his lips. They stumbled backwards towards the bed without any real sense of urgency besides their need to stay close. Zuko kicked off his shoes and laid back on the bed as Sokka kissed him, long and slow. Sometimes Zuko still trembled at his touch, and it was apparently one of those nights. He was shaking a little as Sokka let his hands roam up under his shirt.</p><p>            “Wait,” Zuko said, his breath hitching, “I just—let me hold you.”</p><p>            “Now?” Not that Sokka minded; they’d already had sex that morning.</p><p>            “If that’s okay.” Zuko’s eyes fluttered open, his expression bashful.</p><p>            “Yeah, it’s okay.” Sokka climbed over him and laid down at his side. Zuko wrapped him up in a tight hug, their legs tangled together.</p><p>            “Sokka…” Whatever it was that Zuko was trying to say, it seemed he was about to try again. Sokka could feel Zuko’s lips moving where he’d buried his head against Sokka’s shoulders, but he wasn’t speaking a single word.</p><p>            “I know, Zuko.” Sokka grabbed his hand and squeezed tight. “You don’t need to tell me.”</p><p>            But still Zuko’s lips were moving, soundless, against his neck, repeating something Sokka couldn’t hear over and over. When he started to fall asleep, he wondered, for a moment, what was so important that Zuko couldn’t say it out loud.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. What Was Left Unsaid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko and Toph go shopping. They're both Bad At Words, but that doesn't stop them from trying to figure out a way for Zuko to tell Sokka he loves him.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>            Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. </em>That was all Zuko could think to himself when he woke up the next morning, Sokka still asleep in his arms.</p><p>            He thought he’d had the perfect moment to say it when they were out on the balcony, and he couldn’t. He tried again when they were in bed and couldn’t. Even though he’d mouthed “I love you” over and over, no sound ever left his mouth.</p><p>            Stupid.</p><p>            Sokka had told him, “I know, I understand,” but Zuko wondered if he did. Even though dinner the previous night had been annoying and frustrating, he thought Sokka would get that they’d been together long enough that it didn’t bother him much. But still, Sokka was worried Zuko was angry with him. Why? Zuko certainly felt like he wasn’t shy about his feelings anymore—well, all the other feelings <em>besides</em> love—so how was it that Sokka didn’t understand?</p><p>            He watched Sokka as he slept, dreaming away, and thought to himself that the first time in his life that he got lucky was when Sokka told him how he felt. <em>You don’t have to say it</em>, Sokka’s voice echoed in his mind, but he knew that wasn’t true.</p><p>            Zuko wanted to sit with Sokka and ask him, <em>do you know how much I adore you? What I wouldn’t do to make you happy and keep you safe? How the best parts of me seem to come out when I’m with you, that my life is better when you’re in it? Do you understand that I never want to be apart from you again?</em></p><p>
  <em>            Do you know that I love you?</em>
</p><p>            But the words froze in his throat every time he tried. If he was honest, it was so frustrating that it made him want to cry. He had one simple thing to say to Sokka—just one! Sokka, the most important person in his life! But he somehow kept getting in his own way and never managed to say the words he was sure Sokka was wondering when he would hear.</p><p>            When Sokka started snoring and Zuko was positive he wasn’t going to wake up any time soon, Zuko whispered, “I love you,” and felt his stomach twist when he heard the words.</p><p>            He could do it. He could say it.</p><p>            If only his nerve would stay with him when Sokka was awake.</p><hr/><p>            “Okay, this might be a little basic, but hear me out.” Sokka flopped down onto the couch about an hour into their attempts at thinking of a birthday gift for Aang. “What if we got him a new glider? I mean, he’s super tall now, right? So…maybe he needs a new one?”</p><p>            “No, it’s a good idea,” Zuko replied, glad they’d finally figured something out. “But it’s not like we can go out and buy one.”</p><p>            Sokka considered this and tapped his hand against his cheek as he thought. Spirits, it was so cute. “I can make one if we get the right stuff. I’m gonna need some really light wood with some strong, sturdy fabric…do you think you can get those things?”</p><p>            “Me?” Zuko was surprised. Sokka never passed up the chance to go shopping. “You don’t want to go shopping?”</p><p>            “You know this place better than I do.” Sokka’s tone was matter of fact, but he was frowning. “Plus, I don’t trust myself to buy <em>only </em>the stuff I need for the glider. It’ll be too tempting to buy out every store in town.”</p><p>            Zuko sensed this wasn’t really the truth but didn’t press the issue. Sokka was probably trying to make up an excuse so he wouldn’t have to admit he needed to apologize to Katara, and that was why he couldn’t come. “Alright, I’ll do my best.”</p><p>            Suki and Toph wandered in the room, both of them still slightly slick from their dip in the ocean. Well, okay, technically Suki was the only one who swam, but Zuko <em>did </em>see Toph sitting down in the water earlier that day.</p><p>            “Sokka,” Suki began as she pulled her hair back, “come spar with me.”</p><p>            Zuko watched Sokka’s expression, which looked slightly guilty (but also slightly relieved?), with some curiosity. He had a feeling Suki probably wanted to talk to him about how childish he and Katara were acting, and honestly, Sokka would probably listen to her the most out of any of them.</p><p>            “Okay.” Sokka stood up and walked towards Suki, then doubled back to kiss Zuko on the cheek. “You remember what I need, right?”</p><p>            “We just talked about it,” Zuko replied, “so clearly, I’ve already forgotten.”</p><p>            That made Sokka smile a genuine smile. “Dork.”</p><p>            He left with Suki, and Zuko turned to Toph.</p><p>            “Want to go shopping with me?” he asked her. At least if she came with, he could have some company to distract him from thoughts of his miserable failure the night before.</p><p>            “Is it somewhere without wooden floors or sand? Because I really haven’t been able to see for shit, so I’ll go anywhere where I can.”</p><p>            Zuko smiled. He walked over and let her take his arm, like she usually did when they were walking on anything that wasn’t solid ground or stone. “Don’t worry, we’ll be around all the dirt your heart could desire.”</p><hr/><p>            Ember Island’s town square was bustling because it was around noon, so all the tourists had come out to try and find lunch. In truth, Zuko wasn’t really sure where he could begin to find any of the things Sokka had asked him for, but he hoped they were somewhere in the marketplace; if they weren’t, they’d have to come up with a new idea for Aang’s birthday, which was a very grim prospect.</p><p>            “Lots of people here,” Toph remarked. “Are they doing that play about us again or something?”</p><p>            Zuko groaned. “I hope not, considering that it ended with my dad killing Aang.”</p><p>            Toph walked ahead of him and paused for a few moments, then jerked her head towards one of the roads extending out of the square. “That way. One of those stores sells tools and stuff, I think.”</p><p>            “I still don’t know how you do it,” Zuko marveled. “But thank you.”</p><p>            It had been a while since Zuko had been out shopping; it was the time of year where trade deals were being renegotiated, and he was in meetings all day. It was nice to hear the sounds of happy people, especially knowing that they were happy because the specter of war no longer hung over their heads. The air smelled faintly of spices, and some children were playing hide and explode near a cabbage stand. It made Zuko laugh when they accidentally bumped into it and cabbages went flying everywhere.</p><p>            “My cabbages!” the merchant cried, which made Toph laugh, too.</p><p>            They continued walking until something sparkling in one of the shopfronts caught Zuko’s eye. Sokka did love shiny and/or sparkly things…maybe he could get him something, and then when he gave it to him, he could say, “I love you! Surprise!”</p><p>            …maybe not. But he was still going to look at the store anyway.</p><p>            “Good morning!” the owner said cheerily as he and Toph stepped inside. Once Zuko noticed the floor was wooden, Toph came and took his arm, as expected.</p><p>            The shelves around them were decorated with beautiful sea glass and shells of all shapes and sizes. When the light shone through the glass, colors danced around the room. They seemed to light up every surface in a new color, and it reminded Zuko of the time he and Aang had met the dragons.</p><p>            Sokka would love something like this, he decided, so he continued to scan the room for the perfect choice.</p><p>            “Are you gonna tell me what’s in here?” Toph asked, annoyed. “Did you find what you’re looking for?”</p><p>            “No, something else.” Zuko wondered what it would look like if the sea glass was strung together so that it could be hung near a window, almost like a wind chime. “Something for Sokka.”</p><p>            “Boooring.” Toph yawned. Zuko ignored her.</p><p>            “Do you ever make custom pieces?” Zuko asked the owner. “I have an idea for one. I can pay you well for your time and expertise.”</p><p>            The woman behind the counter looked to be middle-aged, and her hair was starting to go gray. She studied Zuko for a moment, almost like she was trying to see if he was kidding or not. He noticed she was wearing a necklace made out of a deep red sea glass, but there was no red sea glass for sale anywhere in the store.</p><p>            “What did you have in mind?” she asked, apparently having decided he was genuine. “A necklace for your lady friend there?”</p><p>            Toph snorted. “No way.”</p><p>            “No, no, for someone else.” Zuko couldn’t decide how evasive he wanted to be or not. “Someone special to me. Would you be able to arrange the sea glass on strings that I could hang near a window? I love how they catch the light.”</p><p>            She smiled at him like he’d stumbled upon a secret. “I’ve been practicing making those lately because I’ve been thinking of selling them. Glad that there’s a market for them.” Bending down, she pulled out a basket full of sea glass in the most beautiful hues of blue and green he’d ever seen. “Go ahead and pick some that you like.”</p><p>            To his surprise, Toph grabbed a piece and ran her fingers over it. She was concentrating on it deeply. He started to sift through the pieces, finding a few blue shards that reminded him of Sokka’s eyes. There were no red or orange pieces, however.</p><p>            “The glass that’s on your necklace is beautiful. Is it rare?”</p><p>            She raised a hand to it and touched it like she forgot she was wearing it. “Yes. Most sea glass is white, blue, or green. The red shards that I’ve found came from unusual places—near volcanoes or around the houses of noblemen. It’s rare that broken red glass makes it out to sea, because the things around here that are made of red glass are usually used in art or expensive wine bottles.”</p><p>            Zuko knew what he wanted at that moment. A sea glass mobile, made out of red and blue pieces—red for him, blue for Sokka—that would shine purple light across their room in the palace. “How long would it take you to find enough to use for a mobile?”</p><p>            She thought for a moment. “How long are you in town for?”</p><p>            Not a good sign. “Only for the week.”</p><p>            “I wish I could say I could get it done by then, but I’d have to close my shop to find enough pieces, and even then, it’s a gamble.”</p><p>            “I’ll pay you double what you make in a day so you can close up and get enough pieces.”</p><p>            “Ha!” Toph exclaimed, breaking the negotiations. When they turned to look at her, the flat, smooth shard of glass in her hand had been shaped into a little triangle.</p><p>            “How did you do that?” the shopkeeper was gaping at her. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”</p><p>            “Glass comes from sand and rocks. All I had to do was feel where the particles were so I could bend them.”</p><p>            The woman still was mystified, so Zuko explained, “She’s Toph Beifong. She invented metal-bending. Doing stuff like this is…kind of her specialty.”</p><p>            The woman just nodded, still speechless. “I’ll tell you what. Pay me like you said and I’ll have that mobile done for you before the weekend. But only if your friend here can work her magic on some of the pieces I have here. If she could shape them into a few of the designs I have in mind, along with whatever else she wants, I’d be grateful.”</p><p>            Toph’s eyes lit up. “You mean I get to play with this stuff more? Sweet.”</p><p>            “So it’s settled.” Zuko pulled out the pouch where he kept his money and gave her half of the gold pieces he had on him. “Is that enough?”</p><p>            “More than enough!” the woman fumbled around behind her counter and slapped some papers on top, shoving the basket towards Toph. “Thank you both, really. I’m going to close up for the day and go look for that red sea glass.”</p><p>            Zuko bowed and took the basket in his arms, along with the papers, which had several designs that looked like various sea creatures sketched out on them. Well, getting Toph to actually see the designs would be an issue, but he’d deal with it later. “Thank you, too.”</p><p>            He and Toph headed for the exit, and as he was about to close the door behind him, the woman waved at him.</p><p>            “Thank you for your business,” she began, with a shy smile, “Fire Lord Zuko.” Before Zuko could protest, she mimed zipping her lips. “Your secret’s safe with me.”</p><p>            He just shook his head in disbelief. Toph reached over for the basket as soon as he stepped outside. “Gimme those. They’re kind of hard to bend, but I like the challenge.”</p><p>            They continued their walk down the street, and sure enough, some of the hardware stores Toph had sensed started to pop up on their left. Zuko scanned ahead to see if any of the stores sold wood.</p><p>            “Wait a second.” Toph stopped in place, the sea glass practically liquid in her palm. “I thought we were out here so you could get something for Aang’s birthday, not for Sokka.”</p><p>            Zuko blushed. “I can do two things at once. I’m a man of many talents.”</p><p>            Thankfully, Zuko spotted a wood shop to their right and darted away from Toph. The store’s owner had certainly been confused by the concept of a glider, but he helped Zuko find the best wood nevertheless. The man had helpfully pointed out the nearest store selling fabric, and within the next ten minutes, Zuko was certain he’d grabbed everything Sokka would need.</p><p>            He and Toph started to walk back, but he got distracted again when they passed a store that seemed to be selling dolls of Aang. He picked one up and looked at it in disbelief. Aang was so popular here that they were making him into toys?</p><p>            “What is it?” Toph said, and Zuko remembered he had to keep explaining to Toph what it was that was being sold, since she couldn’t see some of the objects out on display.</p><p>            “It’s a doll of Aang.” Zuko looked around and spotted something else. “Hey, they even have a doll of you!”</p><p>            “Me?” Toph took the doll in her hands and touched it appreciatively. “Does it look like me?”</p><p>            “It’s not bad.” He looked around spotted a doll of Sokka and grinned. “Do you think if I give Sokka a doll of himself, it’ll go to his head?”</p><p>            “Absolutely,” Toph chuckled. Her fingers ran gently over the fabric of the toy in her hands, then she reached up and touched her face, like she couldn’t believe there was a tiny version of herself that actually looked like her.</p><p>            There were posters on the wall, too, Zuko realized, some for the awful Ember Island Players’ play about them (which, according to the posters, had been updated with "exciting new material"), others of Aang’s old wanted poster. One was for the Blue Spirit, which made him blush, and there was another for someone called “The Runaway,” which looked an awful lot like Toph.</p><p>            “Toph, you weren’t ever a wanted criminal, right?”</p><p>            Toph looked even more delighted than before, somehow. “They have posters for the Runaway up there? Can you get me one? Katara took mine away back when I was doing it.”</p><p>            “Uh, sure. I’ll get you that doll of you, too, if you’d like.”</p><p>            He waved over the shopkeeper, who kind of looked a bit like his uncle. “What can I get for you?”</p><p>            “These dolls, and that poster of the Runaway, please.” He couldn’t help himself and added, “And one of the Blue Spirit, too. I’ve never seen these not as actual wanted posters before.”</p><p>            The vendor rolled the posters up and handed them over to Zuko. “Mhm. They got real popular after the war. The one of the Avatar is my best-seller, but I do get a few Blue Spirit fans here and there.”</p><p>            Zuko dug into his pocket for money, and when he handed it over, the shopkeeper gave him a funny look. “Say, you look an awful lot like the Fire Lord.”</p><p>            “I get that a lot,” Zuko said quickly, “but his scar is on the other side.”</p><p>            Toph snorted, and he elbowed her to keep quiet.</p><p>            The shop owner stared at him for a moment or two before turning around to rummage for something behind the counter. “Alright, but I’m telling ya, you could be his twin.” He handed Zuko the little doll version of himself and winked. “Here, it’s on me.”</p><p>            “Uh, thanks.” He cleared his throat and handed the doll off to Toph. “Have a nice day.”</p><p>            Once they were out of earshot of the man, Toph burst into peals of laughter. “Remember when we saw that stupid play, and you yelled at that kid who said your scar was on the wrong side?”</p><p>            “Yes. It wasn’t funny.” In spite of himself, Zuko smiled. “Anyway, you have to tell me about this Runaway thing you used to do.”</p><p>            Toph smiled. “Only if you tell me why you’re obsessed with the Blue Spirit.”</p><hr/><p>            Thankfully, the journey back had been quick and full of laughter as Zuko and Toph had regaled each other with stories of their brief lives of crime. Toph sounded sad she couldn’t pull scams like she used to anymore; Zuko was just glad he no longer needed the Blue Spirit as a disguise so he could help others.</p><p>            Sokka and Suki were still gone, so Zuko dumped the materials up in his room before returning to Toph. The basket full of sea glass was now half-full of tiny cubes and spheres and whatever other shapes Toph had felt like making.</p><p>            “Let’s go to the beach.” Toph got up, and it was clear it wasn’t optional. “I wanna show you something.”</p><p>            Zuko followed her out, thankful that the sun was no longer at its highest point in the sky. It wasn’t a scorching day, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable weather, either.</p><p>            “I’m gonna build a sand castle,” Toph told him. “Stand back.”</p><p>            “Why? To watch you get little buckets so you can start making it?” he laughed.</p><p>            Toph smiled and shook her head. She took a deep breath, and in seconds, an actual castle emerged from the sand, at least two heads taller than he was.</p><p>            “How—”</p><p>            “I said I was gonna make a sand <em>castle</em>, dumbass. Come inside.”</p><p>            In awe, he followed her around to the front of the castle. She had made it so there was a room inside; it wasn’t spacious, but it was comfortable enough for he and Toph to sit in. Plus, it was much cooler inside than it was outside.</p><p>            “Nice trick.”</p><p>            “Thank you. I thought you’d be impressed.” Toph dug her feet into the sand and leaned back. “Okay, now that that’s out of the way, you’re gonna tell me what’s been bothering you.”</p><p>            “Me?” Zuko spluttered. “Sokka is the one who’s bothered by Katara and Aang.”</p><p>            Toph wagged a finger at him. “You’re a bad liar, Fire Jerk.”</p><p>            Zuko felt his back against the wall, literally (it was surprisingly solid), and sighed. “Alright. Well, I’m not as preoccupied as Sokka is about getting Katara and Aang to understand we’re together. Although I guess I am worried about what Katara will say.” He paused and thought for a moment. “But that’s not what’s bothering me. I…have something I’ve been meaning to tell Sokka, and I just can’t seem to say it.”</p><p>            “Is that he’s a giant doofus? Cuz I’ll tell him for you,” Toph joked.</p><p>            “No. It’s that I love him.”</p><p>            A silence fell between them as Toph considered what he said. Honestly, he expected her to laugh at him, but she appeared to be seriously thinking about what to say in response.</p><p>            “Tell it to me like I’m him.” For good measure, Toph bent a boomerang out of the sand. “That way you can get some practice.”</p><p>            “That won’t work.” Zuko frowned and pulled his knees in to his chest.</p><p>            “Why not? Are you really that much of a wuss that you can’t even <em>pretend </em>to say it?”</p><p>            “Because I love you differently than I love him.” To Zuko, this was an obvious fact; he loved Toph like family, which wasn’t at all close to how he felt about Sokka.</p><p>            Toph wrinkled her nose. “You love me?” She turned away from him, but it looked like she was smiling. “Gross.”</p><p>            “Yes, against my better judgment, I do love you.” Zuko looked down at his hands like they’d give him an answer to his problems. “You’re my family.”</p><p>            “Alright, alright, I get it.”</p><p>            Zuko sighed. “Can you take what I’m saying seriously, please? Do you think I’m lying to you or something?”</p><p>            “I know you’re not lying to me. It’s just…look. You and me, we don’t do words. We don’t <em>need </em>to do words. I understand you, you understand me.” Her voice was soft, reminding Zuko of how she’d confessed to Zuko that she liked women years ago. It was so different from her usual bravado, which usually meant she was sincere in what she was saying, but she didn’t want to be loud about it, unlike how she was with everything else.</p><p>            Looking back up at her, he could see that she was very pointedly not looking in his direction. “It’s okay to do words sometimes,” he offered quietly.</p><p>            “Yeah, okay.” She sighed. “I know what you mean, Zuko. You and everyone else…you’re the family I never really got to have. You all give a shit about me. You especially. But I didn’t grow up knowing how to say any of this kind of stuff, and I still don’t.”</p><p>            “Me neither. My mother and my uncle were the only ones who told me they loved me.” Zuko blinked back tears. “And then my mother disappeared, and I realized that the chances we have to tell others how we feel are precious and few. I was so used to hiding my love…and I don’t want to anymore.”</p><p>            “Alright. Okay. I love you too, Zuko. You’re the best brother I never had.” Even though she sounded awkward, he knew she was sincere. She held up a hand like she sensed what he was about to do next. “But no hugs. Not right now, okay?”</p><p>            Zuko nodded. “Okay.”</p><p>            “Back to you and Sokka.” Toph pulled her meteorite bracelet off her arm and began to bend it absentmindedly. “What’s been stopping you from saying it?”</p><p>            “I don’t know,” he said miserably. “Last night, I had the perfect opportunity, and I tried so many times, but I just couldn’t do it. I was even mouthing the words!”</p><p>            “Are you afraid he won’t feel the same way? Is that what’s scaring you?”</p><p>            “Of course not,” Zuko scoffed, even though he knew that yes, that was definitely part of it. The fact that Sokka hadn’t shared with <em>anyone </em>that they were together still nagged at the back of his mind—did he view his relationship with Zuko as a fun fling, and nothing more? But then again, most flings didn’t involve moving in together and spending practically every waking moment together.</p><p>            It occurred to him that he could kill two birds with one stone, so to speak, by asking the right hypothetical question to Toph. Hopefully, she’d fall for it and answer before she thought too hard. “Toph, if you were messing around with someone for a short amount of time, you wouldn’t say that you were together, right? But if you lived together and did everything together for years, <em>then </em>you’d definitely tell people about it like it was more than a stupid fling, right?”</p><p>            “If it was just for a short amount of time, then I wouldn’t say we were together…I guess I’d say we were involved with each other.” She scratched the back of her neck.</p><p>            “So you would say, then, that you’re <em>involved </em>with Suki.” Zuko couldn’t stop himself from grinning at the fact that he’d managed to outsmart her this once. “Right?”</p><p>            Toph’s face turned as red as his scar. “I’m not answering that, asshole. I’m trying to help <em>you</em>.”</p><p>            “You’re a bad liar, you know,” he shot back, mimicking her voice.</p><p>            “Bring it up one more time and I will bring this castle down on top of us.” To prove her point, she flicked her hand and a hole appeared in one of the walls.</p><p>            “Alright, alright.” Zuko sighed. “Back to my problem, then. I guess it doesn’t really bother me, but I wonder why Sokka didn’t tell anyone we were together. Or that we’ve <em>been </em>together for two years.”</p><p>            Toph raised an eyebrow at him. “Sounds like it does bother you, Fire Jerk.”</p><p>            “I don’t get it. If I’m as important to him as he says, then he should’ve brought it up to everyone else before now. It just makes me wonder if, maybe, he views our relationship differently than I do.”</p><p>            Saying those words out loud felt like he was betraying Sokka, betraying the mutual, implicit trust they’d built in their time together, but voicing his doubts did feel like a weight off his chest.</p><p>            “Well, his heart still races when you come into a room sometimes.” Toph seemed to be thinking out loud. “Or when you lean in to kiss him, I think—it’s been hard to tell on those stupid wood floors. So he feels <em>something</em> for you.”</p><p>            “I wish you could tell me what his face looks like,” Zuko mumbled.</p><p>            Toph burst out laughing. “Huh? What do you mean? Are you fully blind now too?”</p><p>            “No!” Zuko’s face grew hot. “I just meant that if you could see his face, you could tell me what it looked like when his heart races. How he’s looking at me. You know.”</p><p>            “Sorry, buddy, you’ll have to use your own two eyes for that.” She paused and reconsidered. “Your own <em>one </em>eye for that.”</p><p>            As much as he loved her, Zuko decided that this conversation was going to go nowhere helpful, because Toph was equally as inexperienced at sharing her own love as he was. Damn it. He should have asked Iroh what to do before they left the palace. Sure, he probably would’ve said something cryptic and kind of annoying, but Zuko would’ve figured it out eventually.</p><p>            He <em>could </em>send a messenger hawk to his uncle, but Sokka was nosy enough that he’d probably figure out what Zuko was doing before the hawk even left. He considered his other options. He couldn’t ask Aang, who couldn’t come up with a way to propose to Katara—this seemed trivial and silly compared to that. He <em>definitely </em>couldn’t ask Katara if he valued his life; maybe when Sokka finally told her, he could ask, but even then, the thought filled him with dread. He’d already tried Toph, and though he’d found out some interesting tidbits about her and Suki, she certainly wasn’t in any position to be offering real advice herself.</p><p>            Of course! He could ask Suki! She was probably the smartest and most level-headed of them all—he fully expected to return home later with Sokka and Katara laughing and talking like they used to because Suki had finally kicked some sense into his stubborn boyfriend.</p><p>            Who used to be her boyfriend. Shit.</p><p>            Well, he definitely couldn’t ask her.</p><p>            Normally, he would’ve asked Sokka what he should do in a situation like this, since Sokka was so much more socially able than he was. But he couldn’t just sit down with Sokka and say, “Hey Sokka, got any advice on how I should tell you I love you?” That was almost more mortifying than all the previous options combined.</p><p>            He sighed. “Want to go for a swim?”</p><p>            Toph grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”</p><p>            Years ago, they’d developed a method to safely swim together: Toph would climb on his back as he submerged himself up to his neck, which also partially submerged her as well. So long as she held on to him, there was nothing to worry about.</p><p>            When they stepped out of the sand castle, Toph sent it cascading down with a satisfying <em>thunk</em>. “I love it when it does that,” she smiled, and climbed on top of the large lump of sand.</p><p>            Zuko turned his back to her and grabbed her hand to show her their actual proximity. If she couldn’t normally see in sand, then there was no way she could see on top of a mountain of it. It didn’t take her long to jump on and wrap her arms around his neck. She always held a little tight, but he couldn’t blame her.</p><p>            He decided to run into the water, which wasn’t easy with Toph on his back, and she squealed as he splashed in past his legs. He let out a laugh at her surprise, which made her laugh back at him.</p><p>            “It’s not funny, asshole!” she took the opportunity to flick the side of his face. “I have no idea where you’re going when we do this.”</p><p>            Zuko swam to where he could just barely stand up straight and relaxed into the water. Enough worrying about Sokka; he came here to enjoy himself, and enjoy himself he would.</p><p>            With a wolfish grin, he asked, “Would you like it better if Suki did it, then?”</p><p>            Toph carefully extracted one of her arms from his neck so she could splash him, but the motion was so unsure and slow that it hardly bothered him. “I would dunk you right now if I could. I want you to know that if I could dunk you and not drown, I absolutely would.”</p><p>            He laughed and goaded her on, feeling lighter than he had in days. “Someone has a crush, and it isn’t me.”</p><p>            “Ughhh,” she groaned. “I never should’ve agreed to swim with you. Now I’m trapped out here and forced to listen to you be a dumbass.”</p><p>            “What do you like best about Suki? Do you think she’s pretty?”</p><p>            Toph bonked him on the head again. “This is the lowest effort teasing I’ve ever heard. I don’t know if she’s pretty because I don’t know what she looks like!” She waved her hand in front of his eyes for good measure. “Duh!”</p><p>            It struck him again how different Toph was from Azula. The teasing between them had become so familiar and so easy, and it was never loaded with double-meaning and danger. Nothing was off-limits to his sister, and no blow was too low. If she teased someone and they didn’t end up crying, she’d keep going until they did. And though Toph had probably teased some of the fighters at the Earthbending Rumbles until they cried, he was sure there wasn’t any malice in it (well, maybe a little, but not a lot).</p><p>            Thankfully, Toph interrupted his thoughts before he let them drift too far into uncomfortable territory. “And anyway, dork, didn’t Sokka try to feed you food at dinner last night? And you actually ate it?”</p><p>            “First of all, I did <em>not </em>enjoy it, I only ate it to get him to stop.” Zuko flushed. “Second of all, there’s no way Aang and Katara haven’t done that at least twice in the past week.”</p><p>            “Yeah, sure,” Toph replied sarcastically.</p><p>            Ignoring her tone, Zuko swam around a little (which actually meant he sidestepped in the water to keep Toph afloat) and closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet. He appreciated how secluded the house was, the privacy and silence it afforded him. Yes, the palace was huge, and he and Sokka were often alone, but it felt like eyes were always on him, like every little thing he did in the palace, no matter how private, would somehow be found out. It seemed like everyone and no one were always watching him.</p><p>            Toph rested her chin on top of his head and dipped one of her hands into the water near his shoulder tentatively. “Do you ever wonder what it’d be like if you could bend a different element?”</p><p>            “Not really. Could you imagine me as an airbender?” The thought alone was enough to make him snort.</p><p>            “I couldn’t see if I couldn’t earthbend. But sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I could shoot fire like you can.”</p><p>            “It would be dangerous, that’s what it would be like. Everything would be on fire all the time.” He reached up a hand to pat her on the head. “You’re already dangerous enough as it is.”</p><p>            His eyes wandered over to their house, and he saw Sokka and Katara on the deck. Good! Maybe Sokka had finally sucked it up and apologized. He waved enthusiastically, which splashed Toph.</p><p>            “Hey!” she splashed him back, this time with a little more force.</p><p>            “Sokka and Katara are out. Maybe they’ve finally stopped fighting and they’ll come swimming.”</p><p>            Well, that was apparently too much to hope for, because judging from their wild arm gestures, they weren’t anywhere near a truce. Sokka didn’t even wave back, and Zuko sighed.</p><p>            “I’m guessing they’re not going to join us.” Toph awkwardly patted his head. “Good thing we never fight.”</p><p>            That made Zuko smile a little. “Yeah. Good thing.”</p><hr/><p>            <em>Dear Uncle,</em></p><p>
  <em>            Forgive me for the brief pleasantries. Vacation is fine, Ember Island is beautiful, and so on. I hope you are well and winning your Pai Sho tournament.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            I am writing you to ask for advice on how to tell Sokka I love him. I’m embarrassed that this is something I even have to ask about, but I have no practice or experience in this area. I don’t know how to say it or when to say it. And every time I try, I say something else or nothing at all.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            This is something that’s important to me for many reasons, which I’m sure you are already aware of. The only other person I would ask for advice is Sokka, which I obviously can’t do. Please respond as quickly as you can, even if it’s with one of your confusing proverbs.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            Your nephew,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            Zuko</em>
</p><p>            Well, that was that. Sokka was in the bathroom, cleaning himself up after the sex they'd had an hour before, and would be back any minute, so there was no time to second guess himself. He rummaged around in his bag, hoping he had brought a black ribbon to tie around his message so it would get to Iroh as soon as possible. His hand brushed against something cold and metallic, and the jagged edge cut his finger.</p><p>            “Shit,” he mumbled, wrapping his finger in his robe. What the hell was floating around in his bag? He stuck his other hand in and carefully felt around until he found it.</p><p>            It was his old hair piece that he’d worn when he was prince. He must have grabbed it by accident when he was half-asleep the morning they left. He turned it over in his hand. It felt unfamiliar to him—the person he was when he proudly wore it years ago was not someone he recognized at all. It had been passed down in his family for generations, but it never felt like it was his. Even though he knew Roku had worn it for most of his life, the thought of his great-grandfather stealing it back after Roku died made it feel dirty.</p><p>            Nothing about it felt like it was his. Despite the fact that Roku was also his great-grandfather, he knew it wasn’t meant to be in his hands. He placed it on the table and contemplated it for a moment.</p><p>            Well, Aang could never wear it, but Zuko still felt like he needed to give it back. It belonged to Roku and should have stayed with him. When Sozin had first given it to Roku, it was an extension of friendship, a symbol of the tie between the Avatar and the Fire Nation royal family—so many years before Sozin set out to end the Avatar cycle after Roku’s death. Whether or not Aang would return it to one of Roku’s temples was up to him, but it felt like the appropriate way to honor how their destinies had diverged and intertwined across time and generations.</p><p>            “What’re you looking at?” Sokka asked, and Zuko stuffed the letter into his bag. He’d have to send it out at a later time; he hoped Sokka hadn’t seen it.</p><p>            “I think I figured out what I’m going to give Aang for his birthday.” Sokka was at his side, then, and put an arm around his waist.</p><p>            He frowned down at the hair piece. “Um, you do know Aang is bald, right?”</p><p>            Despite the growing tension he was feeling around Sokka—which was completely fabricated in his own mind from his failed attempts at communicating his feelings—he laughed. “I know. It used to belong to Roku. Sozin gave it to him because they were best friends. I just…think it’s time I returned the gift to its rightful owner, in a way.”</p><p>            Sokka nodded appreciatively. “Thoughtful. I like it.” He rested his head on Zuko’s shoulder. “Come to bed?”</p><p>            Gratefully, Zuko took off his robe and crossed the room to their bed, curling up under the covers. He heard Sokka’s shirt flutter to the floor, then he crawled under the sheets next to him.</p><p>            Sokka wrapped his strong arms around Zuko, and for a moment, he closed his eyes and tried to breathe. He was sure he could say it if he tried hard enough. There was nothing to be <em>afraid </em>of, really, and with his back turned to Sokka, he wouldn’t have to watch his reaction at all!</p><p>            But the doubtful part of him reminded him, unhelpfully, that yes, there were many things to be afraid of—and the part of him that loved Sokka so much knew that he wanted to see how Sokka would react. Would his eyes light up? Would he say nothing and kiss Zuko til he saw stars?</p><p>            Would he say it back?</p><p>            Zuko took in a deep breath. He could do this. “Sokka, I love…” he began, but his eyes flew open in complete panic. He stuttered out, “I, um, love it when you do this. Hold me. Uh, I love it.”</p><p>            Sokka propped himself up on his elbows and put a gentle hand on Zuko’s back. “Hey, is everything okay? You’ve seemed kinda jumpy lately and like…more nervous than usual.”</p><p>            For once, Zuko hoped his curse of blurting out the wrong thing at the wrong time would work in his favor, but it did not. Instead, he felt his palms get sweaty as he rolled over to face Sokka. He knew no matter what lie he came up with, his face was a dead giveaway that he absolutely was <em>not </em>okay, and Sokka would definitely see right through him, but now was decidedly not the right moment to share his feelings.</p><p>            “I’m fine. I guess just…everyone…with their…” His eyes scanned Sokka’s face as if it could give him an answer. He couldn’t just say “you’re handsome” to distract him, right? Compliment him so he’d forget that Zuko was absolutely failing at saying any sentences normally? “There’s…lots going on. A lot of stress, uh, between our friends.”</p><p>            Sokka scowled and sunk down into his pillow. “Yeah, well, you can blame Katara for that.”</p><p>            Zuko found Sokka’s hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss it. “You know you don’t mean that.”</p><p>            Sokka sighed and shook his head. “I know. She’s just…being really difficult.”</p><p>            He wasn’t sure how to respond, given that he and Katara had probably spoken, at most, three or four sentences to each other since he’d arrived yesterday. She was stressed out about Aang’s birthday, which was a normal thing to worry about; he wondered if maybe she knew Aang was planning on proposing, and the anticipation was making her anxious since she didn’t know when it would happen. Maybe she was taking out her stress on Sokka, who seemed like he didn’t have a care in the world.</p><p>            Ugh. There was too much going on, too many unsaid questions and sentiments hanging between all of them that wouldn’t be easily resolved. He wished he could close his eyes and reopen them to the relaxing vacation he thought he was going to be getting the week before.</p><p>            “Hey.” Sokka shook their entwined hands to get his attention. He moved closer to Zuko and pressed their foreheads together. “You know, I really love…these moments with you.”</p><p>            And even though his heart was racing, Zuko managed to keep a calm, smiling face. “Me too,” he whispered back.</p><p>            Because Sokka had hesitated right after he said love, like he was carefully choosing what word came next.</p><p>            Maybe Zuko wasn’t alone in this after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Say It First</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sokka and Suki have a heart to heart; Sokka and Katara have...whatever the opposite of a heart to heart is.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello everyone! Quick housekeeping note: I was updating this fic almost every day before, but updates now are going to be a bit more spread out to give myself more time to write and edit. I don't have a set schedule, but you can expect at least one chapter a week. :)</p><p>Second thing: for those of you who suffer from second-hand embarrassment, be warned, because Sokka does some hella embarrassing things in this chapter.</p><p>Third thing: this is the chapter where this fic earns its M rating. There is sex (not very explicit, imo, but it's still there), so proceed with caution if that will bother you.</p><p>Lastly, this chapter title was taken from the song "Say It First" by Darwin Deez, which has served as a bit of inspiration for Sokka and Zuko's inability to express their own feelings. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            “Sokka,” Suki said, “come spar with me.”</p><p>            Sokka blinked a few times, trying to read her expression—it was definitely stern, but not angry. He didn’t think he could take it if Suki yelled at him for how disastrous last night had been. Although, if he was being honest, he’d rather deal with Suki yelling at him than Katara. His eyes darted back and forth between his ex-girlfriend and Toph, and he wondered what it was that they had just finished up doing. They were together more often than not, and he was more than curious about what was going on between them, even though he was pretty sure that they were messing around together.</p><p>            “Okay,” he replied. He was ready to follow her out of the room but thought better of it and turned back towards Zuko. He pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “You remember what I need, right?”</p><p>            “We just talked about it, so clearly I’ve already forgotten,” Zuko said with a smirk.</p><p>            It made Sokka’s heart flip over, that stupid expression on his face. It wasn’t fair how attractive he looked when he was trying to be funny.</p><p>            “Dork,” Sokka told him, but he couldn’t hide his smile.</p><p>            He followed Suki out of the room, then out of the house; she led him along the worn path that wrapped around the side of the house towards their old sparring grounds. Before Sozin’s Comet, they had practiced together for hours every day, with and without their weapons. When they weren’t sparring, they were usually making out.</p><p>            “Hey, remember how we used to—”</p><p>            “I was just thinking the same thing,” Suki said with a laugh. She shook her head. “We really thought we were being so sneaky.”</p><p>            Sokka cracked a smile at her. “Kinda like you and Toph now.”</p><p>            “Shut up.” She blushed and slapped him on the arm. “Like you and Zuko are so much better.”</p><p>            “Alright, alright,” he conceded, and he surveyed the area. It looked the same as it did years ago, the same perfectly open space that Suki had somehow managed to use to her advantage whenever they fought. Sokka was proud of all he’d learned from Piandao, but he would gladly admit Suki was an abler warrior than he was. Only one of them had managed to scale a fucking <em>building </em>in no time flat, which was probably the most impressive thing he’d ever seen.</p><p>            Suki tossed him a pair of fans (he was glad he managed to catch them) and took out her own. “Think you can handle these?” she asked.</p><p>            “It’s been a while, but I’ll give it a go.” He stretched himself out and adjusted to the feeling of the fans in his palms. Suki would almost definitely kick his ass, but it didn’t really matter; it was good to see her again. When they fought, Sokka felt like he was finally on equal footing, so to speak, with his opponent, because neither he nor Suki could bring bending into their sparring sessions. Any of their successes or failures came from their skill alone, not from manipulating the elements.</p><p>            “One of these days we<em> are </em>gonna sword fight.” That made her snort with laughter, and he smiled softly at her. He’d missed the sound of her laughter.</p><p>            They walked to the center of their makeshift arena, and Suki flipped open her fans, her face a mixture of pride and eagerness. Within seconds, she was slicing her fans at Sokka, and he deftly sidestepped each swipe. Every time she aimed for him, his wrist was blocking her way, but she was still hard to knock off-balance.</p><p>            He stuck his leg out to hook around her ankle, but she noticed (she always did) and readjusted, landing a swift kick to his side. She swung out again, but he ducked down and rolled out of the way, one of his fans clattering to the side. Oh well. He wasn’t ever really good with them anyway.</p><p>             He scrambled back up to his feet as Suki charged at him, first trying to sweep his legs out from under him, then kicking higher to aim for his chin. He was losing his balance from dodging her, but he was still able to hold his hand out to stop the momentum of her leg as she kicked up, and with one gentle push, she fell backward.</p><p>            “Lucky break,” she said, her chest heaving. Sokka stuck his hand out and helped her up.</p><p>            “I can’t ever beat you if you never admit it.” Really, he didn’t care; as long as he’d known her, as long as they’d been friends, this had been their dynamic.</p><p>            It took her a moment to take his hand and stand back up, and when she did, she bit her lip and looked away from him—her usual tell that she had something on her mind that she wasn’t sure if she should say.</p><p>            He kept her hand in his and led her to a corner of the area with good tree covering and sat down. She sat, too, but put her head in her hand and looked away from him.</p><p>            “Something’s on your mind, I can tell.”</p><p>            She sighed. “Yeah, but I’m worried if I say it, things will get weird.”</p><p>            Sokka snorted. Nothing she could say would be weirder than anything else he’d experienced over the past few days. “I promise you, this is like, the least weird thing I’ve done since I’ve been here.”</p><p>            She turned to look at him then, some of the hair she’d clipped back falling onto her forehead. “I’ve missed you. Not like that, but…”</p><p>            A familiar guilty pit opened back up in his stomach. He’d sort of lost touch with everyone while he was in the Fire Nation, he was coming to realize. Even though he and Suki had agreed to give each other space after they broke up, he still felt like he could have done more, could have sent a few more letters than he did.</p><p>            “I know what you mean,” he finally said. He put a hand on her knee to get her attention and looked her in the eyes. “Okay, from here on out, we’re gonna say whatever’s on our mind. Even if we think it’s weird. Deal?”</p><p>            She smiled. “Deal.”</p><p>            Sokka hadn’t realized he was still holding one of the fans, and he slid it open to see his reflection in the gold surface. His face contorted across each of the ruffles in the metal, distorted but still recognizable. “You were my first everything, basically. First real relationship, first girlfriend, the first person I ever had sex with, first person I ever loved that wasn’t family…and that’s still something special to me. You know?”</p><p>            She just nodded, averting her eyes. He continued, “I hate feeling like I can’t acknowledge that without it seeming like I’m emotionally cheating on Zuko, somehow. Because you were—and are—a big part of my life. There’s still a part of me that loves you very much—not romantically, but for everything we’ve done and experienced together. All of that was special to me. <em>You </em>are special to me. And I’m sorry that I let us fall out of touch.”</p><p>            He had a funny feeling of déjà vu, remembering the discussion they’d had after he’d brought her back from the Boiling Rock. Through tears and kisses, they’d talked about how much they’d missed each other, how much harder the separation was when they didn’t know if the other was safe. In his usual blundering way, he’d stuttered out how much he cared for her, and in their adrenaline at finally being together again, had suggested there was no better time than then for them to have sex for the first time.</p><p>            <em>“I mean, who knows when we’ll have a chance again?” Sokka felt so nervous that it seemed his heart was straining against the walls of his chest. “If you don’t want—if you want to wait, that’s fine too, I just—”</em></p><p>
  <em>            Suki had cut him off with a kiss. Even in her ratty prison uniform, she still was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. “Tomorrow night. Your tent.” Her eyes sparkled, which made him shake with laughter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            “Let’s do it!” he said, a little too loud, which made her laugh, too. </em>
</p><p>            They had kissed and held each other for the rest of that night, giddy that luck had brought them back together again. Looking at her now, Sokka couldn’t believe how much they’d both grown since then.</p><p>            “Are you thinking about that night—” she began, but he cut her off.</p><p>            “Our first time?” Sokka rolled his eyes and laughed. “Yeah. We were so…we wanted it so bad.”</p><p>            Suki nodded. She stared off in the distance, not forlornly, but with a smile, as if their past selves had materialized in front of them. “I still can’t believe you ate that rose, just because Zuko walked in before I did. You should’ve seen your face.”</p><p>            He chuckled. Even though Zuko had absolutely thrown him off, the night still went fine. When they came to Ember Island to prepare before the comet, they’d found stolen moments to try again. The threat of death was enough to make them lose their inhibitions; there was no reason to be chaste and shy when being alive the next week wasn’t guaranteed. He had been so embarrassed that he couldn’t get Suki to have an orgasm their first few times, and he’d worked doubly as hard to make up for it. When it finally happened, he’d blurted out that he loved her, which made the moment feel all the more special.</p><p>            “Things are so different now with Zuko,” he said aloud, even though he hadn’t really meant to. “I don’t think we’ve ever said ‘I love you’ to each other. Or if we have, I can’t remember it.”</p><p>            “Well, do you love him?” she asked. She’d slid closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. It was comforting and familiar.</p><p>            “Yeah, I think I do. I just don’t know why I haven’t told him.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned in to his touch.</p><p>            “You’re doing a really great job of being avoidant these days, aren’t you?”</p><p>            He closed his eyes. Leave it to Suki to get him to feel all soft and open by bringing up fond memories, then ask him why he was being a moron. “I wasn’t <em>trying </em>to keep it a secret,” he insisted. “And it’s not like Katara is making it any easier!”</p><p>            She looked up at him and crossed her arms. “Sokka, have you actually tried talking to her?”</p><p>            “Well, no, but I—” he spluttered out, unable to come up with any valid excuse for why he’d been avoiding her.</p><p>            “It’s not like she’s gonna be <em>super </em>mad at you for not telling her. But if you keep trying to tell her without just saying it straight-out, she’s just going to keep ignoring you because she’s stressed.”</p><p>            “I just don’t want her to be mad at all,” Sokka said quietly. “I think we’ve grown apart, and I don’t know how to tell her. And I don’t like feeling like I know she’ll be upset no matter how I say it.”</p><p>            “The longer you put it off, the worse it’s gonna be.”</p><p>            Sokka sighed. “It’s annoying how you’re right all the time, you know that?”</p><p>            “And yet you still love me.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “I think you just have to suck it up and do it, Sokka.”</p><p>            “Yeah,” he begrudgingly admitted. “I guess I’ll have to.”</p><hr/><p>            Sokka didn’t go to see Katara right after he and Suki had finished talking; he wandered up to his room, hoping Zuko was back and they could maybe fool around. He knew it was so he could put off talking to his sister, and he was embarrassed, but his anxiety was winning out over any shame he felt.</p><p>            Instead he found the materials Zuko had bought for Aang’s glider, and an opportunity appeared: maybe if he went to Katara like he also wanted to work on a present for Aang, she’d soften up to him, <em>then </em>he could bring up his relationship with Zuko, and maybe she’d be less mad.</p><p>            Well, it was worth a shot. He quickly found his whittling knife and hoisted the wood and fabric up on his shoulders. At the very least, she’d be glad he wouldn’t be empty-handed on Aang’s birthday.</p><p>            Katara’s room was on the other side of the house, and Sokka shuffled through the halls, pretending each new portrait Zuko had hung up to replace the old ones of his family was the most interesting thing he’d seen in years. Zuko had commissioned the palace portrait artist to paint the entire gang, and the art looked beautiful hanging up on the walls of their vacation home. He had begrudgingly allowed Sokka to put up some of his art, too, which made Sokka smile.</p><p>            The walk wasn’t that long, though, so all too quickly he found himself at Katara’s door. He knocked.</p><p>            “What?” Katara asked, her voice muffled but clearly annoyed.</p><p>            “It’s Sokka. Can I come in?”</p><p>            He heard her sigh. “Yeah.”</p><p>            He hesitantly opened the door, unsure of what he’d find; no one seemed to know what it was that Katara was working on for Aang.</p><p>            “Yes?” she asked. The room looked like it had been hit with a snowstorm of fabric and thread. Orange cloth scraps were strewn across the floor, the majority of them concentrated near a chair where Katara had draped an orange robe. A tiny, collapsible loom lay unused to the side, a half-finished project inside of it, and when he finally noticed Katara, he understood why: somehow, she had managed to get a giant loom into her room. It was obvious that this was why she was so worried about finishing Aang’s gift in time: a beautiful—but still incomplete—tapestry was stretched out across the machine.</p><p>            “Woah,” he said. “Holy shit. How did you get that in here?”</p><p>            Katara didn’t turn around to look at him; she continued her weaving effortlessly. “With a lot of difficulty and all by myself, that’s how,” she groused.</p><p>            Sokka tossed his supplies on her bed and sat down. The tapestry she was creating looked vaguely familiar, with structures he was sure he’d seen before, but couldn’t place. “You went out and bought this? How? From who?”</p><p>            “In town, where else? I told them Zuko would pay for it as soon as he got here.” She shrugged like it was no big deal, although Sokka was almost positive she hadn’t told Zuko he was on the hook to pay for her enormous loom.</p><p>            Ignoring that, he voiced his curiosity. “What are you making?”</p><p>            This made Katara stop for a few moments, first to shoot a glare at him, then to sigh at the state her room was in. “A tapestry for us to hang on Air Temple Island. It has the four Air Temples on it. I had to get some books from Ba Sing Se University to see what they looked like before the war. It’s a lot bigger than I expected it to be.”</p><p>            “What about the orange thing over there?” Sokka pointed towards the chair. “Is that for Aang, too?”</p><p>            “Aang never got the chance to wear the robes of an airbending master. It wasn’t easy to replicate, but these are as close to Gyatso’s as I could get.”</p><p>            Sokka was impressed. “That’s…really thoughtful.” Some of his anger at her dissipated. She was making some genuinely meaningful gifts for Aang; no wonder she had been so busy and stressed out.</p><p>            “Are you going to explain to me why you brought a pile of wood to my room now?” she smirked at him.</p><p>            “I’m making Aang a new glider, since he’s so tall now.” He shrugged. “And I thought you could use some company.”</p><p>            Her expression was unreadable. “Okay.” She turned back to the loom and resumed her weaving.</p><p>            For once in his life, Sokka had no idea how to start a conversation with his sister. When she was this closed-off, it was hard for anyone to talk to her, but he hadn’t had to deal with it in so long that he couldn’t even remember what he used to do to break her silence. He instead busied himself with whittling the shaft of Aang’s glider.</p><p>            It wasn’t comfortable silence they were sharing; it was uneasy. Sokka kept looking at Katara, and she seemed to be making an effort to not look back at him. What had they talked about before? Why was he, one of the chattiest and most talkative people he’d ever known, not taking this opportunity to fill her in on the last two years of his life? He didn’t know.</p><p>            “How are things on Air Temple Island?” he asked, hoping that asking Katara about herself would at least make her open up.</p><p>            “Busy,” she sighed. “It’s beautiful there, though. Aang got help from Toph and some of her students to build it. And having the Air Acolytes around is nice, but sometimes they get on my nerves. They’re…it’s almost like they’re trying too hard to be helpful.”</p><p>            Sokka chuckled. “We spent a whole year getting chased around by the Fire Nation, but you still somehow haven’t learned to take help wherever you can get it.”</p><p>            “And you have?” she challenged him.</p><p>            “What do you mean?” Sokka set his knife down to his side. He wasn’t liking this line of questioning. “I’m the one who’s been <em>giving </em>all the help to the rest of the world.”</p><p>            “Did it ever occur to you that the rest of us might’ve wanted to help you out with that?” Katara was pushing down against the tapestry’s threads with a metal comb rather forcefully.</p><p>            Sokka was flabbergasted. He’d <em>asked </em>her if she’d ever wanted to come visit, and she had either said no or completely ignored that he asked at all! What was she mad about?</p><p>            “I invited you and Aang to come help! And you said no, or you didn’t respond at all!”</p><p>            Katara pressed her lips into a thin line, hitting the threads like they’d stolen money from her. “You never asked if we needed help on Air Temple Island.”</p><p>            Ugh. How was he supposed to know? If they’d wanted him, they would have asked for him! It had seemed rude to him to invite himself to visit Aang and Katara, but Katara was clearly holding it against him.</p><p>            “You never invited me, Katara. I wasn’t going to invite myself and Zuko over.”</p><p>            “Why would Zuko even come with you?”</p><p>            Sokka was flabbergasted. What the hell did Katara suddenly have against Zuko? “He’s been our friend for six years! Why are you acting like this again?” He threw his hands up in frustration. “And besides, if you came to visit me, I would expect you to bring Aang with you, not leave him behind!”</p><p>            He felt like he was dangerously close to having a shouting match with her, and he didn’t want to. Was there something he’d missed in her letters over the past two years, some sort of argument she’d mentioned with Zuko he’d forgotten about? He felt like he was missing a large piece of whatever Katara’s motivations were, and he was scrambling to play catch up.</p><p>            “Of course I’d bring him! He’s my boyfriend!” Katara had fully abandoned the tapestry and was directing all her rage at Sokka. “I get it, you and Zuko are best friends now, and you always want to hang out with him, but for most of our lives, Sokka, we were each other’s only friends!”</p><p>            Was she jealous of Zuko? Because she seriously couldn’t understand that Sokka and Zuko were <em>dating</em>? “Best friends? Katara, I’m with Zuko all the time because we—”</p><p>            “I don’t care!” she finally shouted. “I don’t care why! All I know is you left the South Pole and just…became a different person!”</p><p>            “<em>I’m </em>different?” Sokka didn’t care about trying not to fight, not anymore. “You’re different! Your letters are always weird and short, and we’re here on fucking <em>vacation </em>with our friends, and you’ve spent this whole time shut away in your room working on something for Aang!”</p><p>            “Oh, would it be better if it were something for Zuko? Would you prefer that instead?” Katara’s eyes flashed dangerously at him. He was momentarily glad they weren’t near any water, because he was certain Katara would have sent a tidal wave at him by this point.</p><p>            “No! It doesn’t matter who it’s for!” he felt exasperated trying to explain himself.</p><p>            “You’re just jealous because Aang and I have been together for six years, and you and Suki broke up <em>three years ago</em>, and you haven’t been with anyone since! You’re upset that no one cares about you like this anymore!”</p><p>            Sokka’s mouth hung open in disbelief. He shook his head. “You’re really fucking blind, you know that?”</p><p>            This wasn’t worth the fight. She wasn’t going to listen to a word he said. He stalked out of the room and towards the deck. Fuck it. This was a lost cause. He was going to go find Zuko and Toph and Suki, and they’d all have a grand time on vacation by ignoring Katara and her weird selfishness she was mistaking as selflessness.</p><p>            He flung the door open and heard Katara call out from behind him, “What the fuck does that mean?”</p><p>            He tented his hands near his mouth and took in a deep breath. He didn’t want to yell anymore. He really, really didn’t. If he closed his eyes and counted to ten, he could try to have a normal discussion with Katara.</p><p>            “What is your problem, Sokka?”</p><p>            Well, so much for the counting. “My problem? <em>My </em>problem?!” he started to pace around so he wouldn’t go absolutely crazy. “You won’t listen to a single word I say! You cut me off every time I try to tell you something important, and you think you’re being so selfless by making Aang this great birthday present, but really, all you’re doing is hiding yourself away from the rest of us!”</p><p>            Katara huffed and pointed a finger at him. “You’re impossible to try to talk to! You—”</p><p>            “Look around, Katara! Fuck!” He stared out at the ocean and noticed Zuko and Toph swimming together. He felt so jealous of them, so unaware of the blowout that was happening on the deck. “We have one week a year where we all get to be together, and you’re spending it alone on something for Aang. I get it, it’s his birthday, and it’s a big deal, but you have every other day of the year to celebrate and spend time with him. And I’m not saying this because I’m jealous, I’m telling you because we’re basically the only family Aang, Toph, and Zuko have, and you’ve decided that all of us spending time together isn’t a gift in itself.”</p><p>            Katara had apparently run out of things to say, because she kept opening and closing her mouth like an eel. “Sokka, I—”</p><p>            “And I’m trying to talk to you and tell you about what I’ve been doing for the past two years, and you don’t want to hear it.” He felt a deepening pit in his stomach as he wondered if, maybe, Katara <em>did </em>know he and Zuko were dating—and she was just choosing to pretend it wasn’t happening. “So until you’re ready to listen, I’m done trying.”</p><p>            If she wanted to have a conversation again, good luck to her. Because Sokka was sick of her acting like a child throwing a fit because everything wasn’t going her way.</p><p>            He stormed back into the house and up to his room, not caring that he could hear Katara calling out for him as he walked away.</p><hr/><p>            A few hours later, he woke up from an angry nap feeling restless. Not wanting a repeat of the night before, he made himself an early dinner and ate alone. He wasn’t sure where everyone else was, and honestly, he didn’t really care. He was still stewing from his argument earlier, and he knew he wouldn’t be good company.</p><p>            He couldn’t shake the feeling that Katara wasn’t as ignorant as she had been acting. He didn’t <em>want </em>to think she was capable of being that cold and harsh, but he couldn’t think of any other reason why she’d misinterpreted every single one of Sokka’s statements about Zuko. None of the explanations for her behavior were pleasant, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out the actual reasoning for her distance.</p><p>            He knew that he owed it to Zuko, though, to at least <em>try </em>to make sense of things. And to himself and his family, he supposed. When he thought of a future without Katara and Aang, he felt a deep loneliness strangle his heart; what if Katara would want him to choose between her and Zuko? It wouldn’t be fair.</p><p>            Sometimes he wished it could all be simpler, that Zuko had joined them from the start, that he’d turned his back on the Fire Nation from the second he was banished. True, Katara had forgiven Zuko and even saved his life, but Sokka sometimes felt she still resented his boyfriend, in a way, because she could never forget how often he’d chased them and threatened their lives.</p><p>            Hopefully, by Aang’s birthday in a few days, Katara’s stress would be forgotten, and they could go back to normal.</p><p>            Shit—speaking of Aang’s birthday, Sokka realized with dread that he’d left the in-progress glider in Katara’s room.</p><p>            He did <em>not </em>want to go back there. But the glider wouldn’t finish itself. Was he supposed to pretend nothing had happened? Would she just ignore him completely?</p><p>            Hauling himself out of his chair, Sokka muttered a few choice curses before heading back to Katara’s room. Instead of dragging his feet like earlier, he walked as fast as he could to get it over with. Her door looked even more imposing than before.</p><p>            He knocked. “Uh, Katara? I left Aang’s present in there…can I come get it?”</p><p>            “Yep,” Katara replied—it sounded like she didn’t realize it was him.</p><p>            He cracked the door open and padded over to the glider and his abandoned knife. Sure enough, Katara was hard at work on her tapestry, completely ignoring the fact that he’d just come in.</p><p>            If she was that distracted, maybe this could be his chance; she wasn’t already worked up or outwardly stressed out, so it was the perfect time to give it one last try.</p><p>            “Hey, Katara? I’m dating Zuko.” He shifted awkwardly, hoping he wasn’t making a mistake.</p><p>            “Uh-huh,” she said.</p><p>            “You’re cool with it?” He knew how ridiculously hopeful he sounded.</p><p>            “It’s great.”</p><p>            Anyone else would’ve left then, satisfied with her non-answers, but he knew she wasn’t listening. Like years ago, on the day they met Suki, when she was sewing his pants and ignored every single thing Aang was doing to get her attention.</p><p>            Well, there was nothing left to lose. Time to bring out the big cannons.</p><p>            “Okay, well, have a good night. I’m going upstairs to have sex with Zuko.”</p><p>            “That’s great,” Katara replied, her affect flat.</p><p>            “Because we’re dating. So we’re going to have sex.” He narrowed his eyes at her in exasperation. “I am about to get naked with Zuko, who will also be naked. And you’re fine with that?”</p><p>            “Yep.” Katara reached for the metal comb she’d used earlier to beat the hell out of the tapestry.</p><p>            “So, just to make sure we’re all good here, I’m gonna go upstairs and put Zuko’s dick in my mouth and butt, and he’ll probably do the same to me, and that’s all fine and good with you, and if I bring this up again, you won’t get mad?”</p><p>            Honestly, he would have laughed if he wasn’t so incredulous at how well Katara seemed to be tuning out every other word he was saying.</p><p>            “I’m glad you have a good friend, Sokka.” She hesitated for a moment, and Sokka thought, <em>this is it, she’s finally gonna say something</em>—until she said, “It’s great, but I’m busy, so can you go now?”</p><p>            He let out a snort (whether in anger or disbelief, he couldn’t tell) and stormed off through the door. “Okay then! Gonna go have sex with Zuko! Don’t say you didn’t know, Katara!”</p><p>            He slammed the door behind him and stalked down the hallway. He hoped Zuko was back up in their room by now so he could forget this shitstorm with Katara had happened.</p><p>            He walked past the living room, and the sound of giggles drifted past him. He turned around and peered inside. Suki and Toph were sitting on the couch, Toph’s legs stretched across Suki’s lap, their heads nearly touching as they tried to stifle their laughter.</p><p>            “Shhh, he might hear us.” Suki pressed her lips against Toph’s, still shaking with giggles.</p><p>            Toph snorted. “He really said, ‘I’m gonna go put Zuko’s dick in my mouth and butt,’ like, out loud! He <em>yelled </em>it!”</p><p>            Sokka wanted to interrupt, to scold at them both for eavesdropping, but he realized that if he had been shouting like they were saying, the only person he could blame for their overhearing him was himself.</p><p>            “Stop saying it! I’m barely keeping it together as it is!”</p><p>            Toph smiled in a way he had never seen her smile before: soft, fond, full of affection. “But if I keep saying it, you’ll keep kissing me to shut me up.”</p><p>            “If that was what you wanted, you should’ve just said so,” Suki replied, leaning in to kiss Toph again.</p><p>            He backed away then, knowing he was witnessing something he wasn’t supposed to be seeing. He felt a little jealous, almost, at how uncomplicated things seemed to be between them. They weren’t in the public eye, neither had siblings who potentially held a relationship-threatening grudge…they could just <em>be </em>together. They liked each other and no one could interfere. It was that simple.</p><p>            Sokka wished so badly his life could be the same.</p><hr/><p>            When he returned to his room, Sokka was glad to see Zuko was there—gladder still when he realized Zuko wasn’t wearing a shirt.</p><p>            “Did you go for a late-night swim or something?” he asked him, lingering in the doorway.</p><p>            “What?” Zuko had been staring out of their window; at what, Sokka wasn’t sure. “Oh. It’s so hot at night. I hate it.”</p><p>            Sokka paused for a moment before saying, “Wanna make it worse?”</p><p>            Zuko raised an eyebrow at him, uncrossing his arms. “Worse?”</p><p>            Closing the door with his hip, Sokka started to take off his shirt. “Y’know. Make it hotter.”</p><p>            Zuko leaned against the wall, his gorgeous abs shining with a thin layer of sweat. <em>Fuck</em>, it was just not <em>fair </em>that Zuko was allowed to look that good.</p><p>            “I guess a few degrees warmer wouldn’t kill me.” Zuko frowned self-consciously. “Um, did that…did that make sense?”</p><p>            “C’mere and let’s find out,” Sokka replied in what he hoped was a sexy/seductive voice.</p><p>            “Wait, what?”</p><p>            Sokka couldn’t wait any longer and quickly closed the distance between himself and his boyfriend. He wrapped his arms around Zuko’s hips, letting his hands wander to his ridiculously muscular ass, kissing him with an insistence that made it seem like they’d been apart for months. Zuko melted into him with a sigh, his hands resting on Sokka’s chest.</p><p>            Sometimes Sokka kissed so intensely that he scraped his teeth against Zuko’s, which, for some reason, always made Zuko tremble. He tugged on Zuko’s bottom lip with his teeth and was surprised to find that he’d somehow pinned his boyfriend up against the wall. Not that Zuko was protesting; he always seemed to like it when Sokka bossed him around in bed.</p><p>            “I missed you today,” he murmured against Zuko’s lips.</p><p>            Zuko pulled away to begin kissing Sokka’s neck and jawline. “Missed you too.”</p><p>            Sokka let his eyes flutter closed, enjoying the familiar burning sensation stirring deep in his stomach. “Is it needy if I say I hate being apart?”</p><p>            That made Zuko chuckle, his breath tickling Sokka’s skin. “No. I hate it too.”</p><p>            Feeling himself getting harder, he squeezed Zuko’s ass and smacked it gently, relishing in Zuko’s surprised moan. If he had been wearing a shirt, he would have pulled him over to the bed by his collar; instead, he started to back away, knowing Zuko wouldn’t let go of him.</p><p>            They tumbled backwards onto the bed, Zuko on top of Sokka—a rare occurrence, but not unusual or unwanted. He strained against Zuko’s bodyweight to lean up to kiss him, but Zuko deftly pinned his hands down.</p><p>            “You look so pretty underneath me,” Zuko whispered, before pressing a trail of kisses down Sokka’s chest. His boyfriend balanced on one arm while his free hand cupped Sokka’s crotch.</p><p>            “Pretty?” Sokka tried to banter back, but his breath hitched when Zuko bit his nipple. Fuck it, if being pretty was what got him this, then he’d be the prettiest dude in the world.</p><p>            Even though his brain was basically short-circuiting at Zuko’s touch, he managed to breathe out, “Wait.”</p><p>            Zuko stopped, his hand hovering inches from Sokka’s waistband. His golden eyes sparkled in the dim light, bringing out the flush in his cheeks. “Is everything okay?”</p><p>            “Yes,” Sokka said quickly, and took the opportunity to scoot himself up against the pillows. “But I always go first. You first tonight.”</p><p>            Zuko seemed to blush even harder, if possible. “I don’t mind. I like going down on you.”</p><p>            Sokka reached his hand out to cup Zuko’s cheek. He laughed and tried to slow his breathing. “Let me spoil you?”</p><p>            Apparently, he didn’t need to say anything else, because Zuko surged forward to kiss him fervently, his trembling hands tangling in Sokka’s hair. Sokka gently switched their positions without disconnecting their lips.</p><p>            Every time they had sex, Zuko was so eager to please him, and he was so damn good at it that Sokka didn’t have time that Zuko rarely went first. If his dick was remotely near Zuko’s mouth or hand, his mind went completely blank.</p><p>            He started to pull Zuko’s pants down and stared for a moment at how handsome Zuko looked laying there, his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted as they waited for Sokka’s next kiss. Everything else that day may have been difficult, but this was not. It was simple and uncomplicated, this mutual attraction that hadn’t shown any signs of slowing since the day they’d gotten together two years earlier.</p><p>            This feeling with Zuko—this closeness, this desire to give him everything he wanted and more, the wish to give him the care he’d spent years missing out on—was impossible for Sokka to ignore. And yes, sex was part of it; there was no denying that Zuko was good in bed, but there was more to it than that.</p><p>            Sokka’s hand fumbled around on the nightstand until he found the drawer with their oil in it. He snatched it up and dropped it next to him so it’d be within reach.</p><p>            He kissed Zuko’s neck like Zuko had done to him moments ago, sucking and nipping at the skin enough that he knew he’d be leaving hickeys. Zuko’s pants were finally around his ankles, and Sokka pulled them away before letting his hand creep up Zuko’s thigh.</p><p>            He squeezed some oil on his hand and palmed Zuko’s dick, smiling at the gasp that escaped Zuko’s lips. “Like that?” he asked quietly, and Zuko only nodded in response.</p><p>            What was it about Zuko that made him feel this way? Beyond their obvious mutual attraction, beyond how easy and fun it was to tease and joke with Zuko, beyond how quickly Zuko could get him to see stars, there was something else, a feeling that burned as bright as the stars in the South Pole.</p><p>            Part of it was definitely how he wanted to make Zuko feel safe and comfortable, to show him that Sokka wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt him. But he also knew that he’d be lying if he said it didn’t go both ways—he found so much security and stability in Zuko’s arms, found himself so protected and respected and <em>valued</em>. Not that Suki had never made him feel that way; in fact, it was very close to how he felt when he was with her.</p><p>            “Can you—” Zuko panted out, his back arching, “inside—please?”</p><p>            “Sure,” Sokka muttered. His tongue felt syrupy and slow in his haze of desire. He shifted Zuko onto his lap and kicked his own pants off, grabbing the oil again to prepare Zuko before slicking himself up.</p><p>            Once he was inside Zuko, it didn’t take long for either of them to finish; Sokka hadn’t realized he’d twisted Zuko’s hair in his hand to pull him closer until he felt like he’d returned to his body, blinking away the haze at the edges of his vision.</p><p>            They both laid back on the sheets, chests heaving, and it wasn’t until he had wrapped himself against Zuko, head nuzzled against his shoulders, that he realized what that <em>feeling </em>he’d been thinking of was.</p><p>            Yes, it was wanting to please him, to make him happy, to protect him, and all those things. It was in the way he knew to hold Zuko tight, to whisper to him that he’d been good for him, to ask him if he was feeling okay. It was that desire he constantly felt to see Zuko smile, to bask in his unnatural warmth, to share the good they’d found in each other with the rest of the world.</p><p>            It was all those things and more, because Sokka finally knew what it was, finally <em>understood </em>it beyond a simple word that probably applied to them, because he felt it so palpably it made his heart constrict.</p><p>            It was all those things and so much more: it was love.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Love Amongst the Dragons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko and Aang have a talk, Sokka and Zuko have a cuddle, and everyone goes to see Zuko's favorite play.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Though I don't really count the comics as canon (fairly explicitly in this chapter, since Ursa is dead), the plot of "Love Amongst the Dragons" in this chapter is taken from them, since they're the only place the play has ever been explained. The dialogue from the final scene of "Love Amongst the Dragons" in this fic is from the Avatar comic "The Search" Part 2, written by Gene Luen Yang, Michael Dante DiMartino, and Bryan Konietzko (one panel in particular). Any other dialogue said by the actors during the play is my own. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Zuko knew he should have been more concerned with trying to get Sokka and Katara to make up than obsessively replaying his conversation with Sokka from the night before, but he couldn’t help himself. When they’d woken up that morning, Sokka had acted like nothing had happened and went to work on Aang’s staff. Zuko excused himself to go send his letter to his uncle, and on the walk into town, his brain kept reminding him that Sokka had paused after “love,” like he was going to say something else (“you,” maybe? Hopefully?) but changed his mind at the last minute.</p><p>            His initial worrying that maybe Sokka didn’t view their relationship as seriously as he did had dissipated, and in its place an even greater pressure to say those three little words to his boyfriend had appeared. Even though he was still scrambling to find an idea of the best way to say it, he felt a little giddy at knowing it would be reciprocated.</p><p>            Well, if he couldn’t get any help, he could get the second-best thing: commiseration. He and Aang may have been at completely different stages in their respective relationships, but they were both trying and failing at figuring out the best way to present their love to their partners.</p><p>            Zuko also felt that as long as Sokka was going to dance around being honest with Katara, the responsibility to tell Aang about them fell to him. He wasn’t sure if Aang would consider him one of his best friends—given their age gap and their complicated history—but he did consider Aang one of his. No matter what Zuko had done all those years ago, Aang always reached out to him with friendship and kindness. Their lives and destinies were forever intertwined from the moment that Roku and Sozin had become best friends.</p><p>            Sure enough, Aang was out back where Sokka had said he’d be, looking forlornly out into space. Momo was asleep in his lap.</p><p>            “Hey,” Zuko said. He tried to be quiet so he wouldn’t startle the Avatar, but he failed. “Come for a walk with me.”</p><p>            Aang shook his head, the surprised expression sliding off his face, and came to Zuko’s side. “Where are we going?”</p><p>            “I don’t know. I just think we should take a walk.”</p><p>            “Alright,” Aang agreed, and they set out along the beach.</p><p>            The clouds hung low in the sky, and it looked like it might rain in a few hours. It was humid, and Zuko could see his hair was already starting to curl from the heat. Everything felt moody, from the way the waves lapped at the shore to the breeze filtering through the trees.</p><p>            “Uh…how’s it going?” he finally asked Aang. Spirits, he sounded stupid. If he wasn’t good at conversation at this stage in his life, he didn’t think he’d ever be.</p><p>            “Honestly? Bad.” Aang watched as Momo flitted ahead of them, forever in search of bugs. “The last time I had this much trouble with something, um…” Aang smiled sheepishly, then continued. “It was when I was figuring out how to defeat your dad without killing him.”</p><p>            “Oh.”</p><p>            “Yeah.” Aang rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s funny, because back then, I contacted my past lives for help, too.”</p><p>            This surprised Zuko—not that Aang had needed help on deciding how to deal with Ozai, that he knew, but that this proposal to Katara was so stressful to him that he had turned to asking past Avatars what to do. “You did? What…what did they say?”</p><p>            Aang watched as Momo managed to catch a few bugs midair with a look of mild jealousy—if only things could be that simple. “Well, Roku was kinda mad, because he didn’t know why I was asking <em>them </em>for help. Kyoshi laughed at me, and Kuruk just kept crying.”</p><p>            Even though Zuko had no idea what contacting one’s past lives actually looked like, the mental image he had of all the past Avatars sitting in a circle, laughing at Aang, was undeniably funny. He didn’t mean to chuckle, but he did. “Sounds helpful.”</p><p>            “I don’t know why this is so hard,” Aang sighed. “It should be easy. I love Katara, we’ve been together for six years, but I can’t think of a single good way to ask her to marry me.”</p><p>            They walked past a scattered beach chairs and towels, and Zuko felt dimly aware that they were technically trespassing on this walk, as this stretch of the beach lined all the private villas and vacation houses on Ember Island. Not that he was worried about being caught; thankfully, most people would be too shocked at seeing the Fire Lord and the Avatar in their backyards to care.</p><p>            Once, many years ago, his mother had taken him along this stretch of land. He couldn’t have been more than eight years old. But it was clear to him, even at that age, which child was his father’s favorite, and Ursa had seemed to sense that it was weighing on his mind.</p><p>            <em>“Zuko,” she said. She held his hand tightly. “I want you to know I love you and Azula both equally.”</em></p><p>
  <em>            “Okay,” he’d said, because really, what was he supposed to say to that? “Thanks”?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            “And I want you to promise me that you’ll always remember that.” Even then, she seemed to be planning her escape. “No matter what happens, you and Azula are both special in your own ways.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            “But Dad loves her more.” He waited, knowing his mother would probably retort that he shouldn’t say something so untrue, but she didn’t.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            Instead, she offered, “You’re different, Zuko. Like me. Your father might try to tell you that’s unacceptable, but he’s wrong.”</em>
</p><p><em>            This was the first time he’d ever heard her directly contradict his father, and his eyes widened at her. So it </em>was <em>possible to disagree with his dad? It was allowed?</em></p><p>
  <em>            “You’re different because you will always choose love.” She had knelt down at his level then, looking him in the eyes. “Promise me you’ll always choose love.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            “I don’t understand.” He looked away, her eyes too intense. “Are you going somewhere? Why do I have to promise?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            “Please, Zuko,” she begged. He looked back at her and was surprised to find her in tears. “Promise me.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>            “I promise.” And he did, because he wasn’t sure what she meant, only that she looked like she’d fall apart if he didn’t.</em>
</p><p>            In the years following her disappearance, he’d thought of that moment with confusion and anger. How dare she ask him to always choose love, then leave him behind? If she loved him, why didn’t she stay?</p><p>            But now, on this beach again so many years later, it occurred to him that she <em>did </em>choose love, and it was the hardest choice she’d ever made: she’d helped Ozai kill Azulon because she loved Zuko more than her own life. This wasn’t a new realization by any means, but it still struck him all these years later. He only wished he’d spent less time being angry with her and more time appreciating the depth of her sacrifice.</p><p>            And now, he and Aang were both trying to choose love, in spite of all the hardships thrown their way. Choosing love over anger and bitterness and sadness and whatever else—even if it was difficult, even when it was a challenge. Aang, who was the last airbender in the entire world, the sole survivor of genocide, a hundred years past his original life; Zuko, who survived unspeakable physical and emotional abuse, who hated himself for years because of the way he felt, who threw himself into near-suicidal situations to “regain” his honor. Aang easily could have been angry—if Zuko was in his position, he certainly would’ve been. But he kept his anger in check, didn’t let it define him, unlike Zuko had for his three years of exile. Instead, Aang freely gave his love to everyone around him, and made sure they knew how important they were.</p><p>            Zuko wanted to be that way, so very badly. He wasn’t there yet. But if Aang, who had every reason to be angrier and more bitter than he did, could do it, then so could he. If only he could transcribe these thoughts and hand them to Sokka…</p><p>            They had been silent for a long time, he realized, and had made it across the whole beach to what technically would have been called a cliff, but was really more of a hill. He should have noticed, because his heart was speeding up from walking up the incline. Zuko motioned for Aang to follow him, and they sat with their legs dangling over the edge.</p><p>            “Want to be distracted by my problems instead of yours?” Zuko asked, which made Aang laugh.</p><p>            “Please.” Aang laid down on the grass and stared up at the cloudy sky.</p><p>            It was time to just be honest, and strangely, Zuko didn’t feel nervous. Hopefully, Aang wouldn’t be too hurt that he was just finding out now about Sokka and Zuko.</p><p>            “Sokka and I are together,” he said. “Romantically, I mean.”</p><p>            Aang was quiet for a moment. “Really? For how long?”</p><p>            “Um, two years.” Zuko blushed and looked away. “I’m sorry neither of us ever told you. I assumed Sokka told Katara, and that she told you, but Sokka apparently forgot to tell anyone.”</p><p>            “Wow.” Aang folded his hands under his head. “That’s a long time.”</p><p>            He didn’t seem angry, but Zuko felt like maybe he was…disappointed? Hurt? At being kept out of the loop. “If I had known, I would have told you. Honestly. I can promise you that it was a stupid mistake—I never had any doubts that you would accept me. Accept us both.”</p><p>            “Wait, I thought you said you were gonna tell me about your problems.” Aang slid up onto his forearms, a quizzical expression on his face. “Is the problem that you’re dating Sokka?”</p><p>            <em>Well, maybe to Katara it is</em>, Zuko thought, but kept it to himself. “No. The problem is that I…haven’t told Sokka I love him yet, and I want to, but I don’t know how.” He sighed. “It seems so easy for you, Aang. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me.”</p><p>            “Are you afraid of what he’ll say?”</p><p>            “No! I just…don’t know when the right moment is.” In spite of his misery, Zuko chuckled. “You and I are actually having the same problem, it seems like.”</p><p>            Aang smiled and sat back up, clapping a comforting hand on Zuko’s shoulder. “Remind me to tell this story at your wedding to Sokka in a couple of years.”</p><p>            A choking noise escaped Zuko’s lips, and he whirled around to look at Aang. “Wha—who said anything about marriage?” he spluttered. “We haven’t even said ‘I love you’ yet!”</p><p>            “Do you ever see yourself breaking up with Sokka?” Aang cocked an eyebrow and smiled mischievously. Zuko got the feeling that he was being tricked or trapped, somehow, but he wasn’t sure in what way.</p><p>            “No, of course not! No one in a happy relationship thinks about that kind of stuff.”</p><p>            “When you think of your future, is Sokka there?”</p><p>            Zuko wanted to blurt out every single daydream he’d had about a future with Sokka, even the impossible ones where they both led the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe but still lived together, as if running a nation was their day job and they could retire to Republic City when the day was done. Yes, <em>of course </em>he imagined a future with Sokka in it, and even if he could imagine otherwise, he didn’t want to. He loved Sokka, so wholly and totally, and if their lives were different—if they were selfish and turned their backs on public service—Zuko was positive he would have asked Sokka to marry him by now.</p><p>            “I’m going to take your silence as a yes,” Aang laughed. “Could you imagine? You and me, being brothers-in-law?”</p><p>            Zuko shook his head. “Ask me again in a few years. You’re still a teenager; it’s strange to talk like this.”</p><p>            “So? You’re still a young adult.”</p><p>            After a beat, they laughed together, and Zuko felt some of the tension in his shoulders ease up. He and Aang would find their respective Right Moments to Share Love; maybe if he put a little less pressure on himself to say it, it would come more easily to him.</p><p>            “And anyway,” Aang said quietly, gazing out at the ocean, “it’s not always easy for me. Sometimes love is the hardest choice to make. But that’s what makes it worth it, I think.”</p><p>            “You sound so much like my mother.” For a moment, Zuko let his heart ache with thoughts of what could have been, had his father not killed her. She would have been so proud to see him now, having helped to restore peace to the world, best friends with the Avatar.  “Sometimes she’d talk to me like that.”</p><p>            “Do you miss her?” Aang asked, then frowned. “I’m sorry, that was probably a stupid question. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. To have parents, I mean.”</p><p>            Zuko swallowed and stared down at his hands. “Yeah. I miss her all the time.” Aside from his scar, her absence was the part of his father’s abuse he felt the most. “I wish I could ask her for advice about Sokka sometimes.”</p><p>            “I wish more than anything I could ask Monk Gyatso for advice right now. Even though he was never married, I just feel like…I don’t know. He’d help.”</p><p>            A mutual silence fell between them, each man lost in thoughts of what could never be, until the storm finally began and large raindrops came cascading down on their heads.</p><p>            “Hey, check this out!” Aang said, sticking his arms out. Just like Katara had done years ago, the rain suddenly stopped in a sphere all around them. “Katara taught me how to do it.”</p><p>            “Oh good,” Zuko replied as he got to his feet. “I don’t want to get wet on our walk back.”</p><p>            Aang wrinkled his nose at Zuko, dropping his arms so he’d be doused in water. “Oh, I’m not holding onto that for that long. Race you back!”</p><p>            And with that, he leapt into the sky with a laugh, leaving Zuko to run after him. “It’s not a fair race if you’re not on the ground!” he called out against the downpour.</p><p>            “You’re only saying that because you’re losing!” Aang called. He was already several yards ahead of Zuko. Even though he was soaked and cold, Zuko laughed.</p><hr/><p>            “Why’re you all wet?” Sokka asked the second Zuko walked into their room. “Were you out in the rain?”</p><p>            “With Aang, yeah.” Zuko started to peel off his wet robes. “We got caught in the storm.”</p><p>            His eyes caught a glimpse of the glider, which was now finished. Sokka must have completed it while he was out. It looked beautiful, the orange fabric on the wings bright against their dark room.</p><p>            Sokka yawned. “Come to bed. I’ll warm you up.”</p><p>            Zuko pulled on a dry pair of pants and walked over to the desk. “Hold on, I want to show you something.”</p><p>            He grabbed the dolls from their hiding place in his bag and sat next to Sokka on the bed. He held them out, and Sokka quickly took them, his mouth agape.</p><p>            “I found them at the market.” Zuko smiled at Sokka’s amazement. “I thought you’d like them.”</p><p>            “I <em>love </em>them!” Sokka held the dolls in his hands like they were baby turtle-ducks. “Someone made these? Of us? To <em>sell</em>?”</p><p>            Zuko nestled himself under the blankets, his arm lazily stretching around Sokka. “Yeah, and there were dolls of everyone else, too. Just think, there could be kids all over Ember Island with little versions of us.”</p><p>            Sokka smirked. “I like the idea of some kid buying just you and me, because we’re obviously the coolest, not even knowing that you and I are together. Heh.” When Zuko’s hand crept slightly up Sokka’s shirt, he jerked away suddenly. “You are <em>freezing</em>, dude. C’mere.”</p><p>            His boyfriend also curled up under the blankets, taking Zuko in his arms. He rubbed his hands up and down along Zuko’s skin to warm him up. Normally, Zuko would’ve told him he could’ve warmed himself up—he was a <em>firebender</em>, after all—but he’d save his smartass remarks for another time, when he wasn’t feeling so mushy over Sokka.</p><p>            “Thanks.” He scooted himself closer, his back resting against Sokka’s chest. “I told Aang about us, you know.”</p><p>            Sokka’s hands momentarily hesitated before continuing. “You did? What’d he say?”</p><p>            <em>That he was going to tell this story at our wedding, </em>Zuko thought unhelpfully. “Uh…not much, just that he didn’t know. It wasn’t like he was surprised or anything.”</p><p>            “Hmmm. Well, maybe he can talk some sense into Katara.”</p><p>            Once Sokka was certain that Zuko was sufficiently warmed, he shifted so his arms would be wrapped around Zuko’s waist, his head buried in his neck. He yawned. “Wanna take a nap?”</p><p>            “Yes please,” Zuko said, his eyes already fluttering closed. He and Sokka never napped back in the Fire Nation, mostly because they knew they’d never get back out of bed if they did.</p><p>            “It’ll be good to get some rest before we go to that play tonight,” Sokka mumbled against his skin.</p><p>            Ugh. The play. “Don’t remind me,” Zuko groaned.</p><p>            “But isn’t it your favorite play?” Sokka’s voice sounded sleepier and sleepier.</p><p>            “Yeah, when literally anyone besides the Ember Island Players puts it on.” Zuko rolled his eyes at the thought of having to sit through another butchered performance of <em>Love Amongst the Dragons</em>. “At least it’s not <em>The Boy in the Iceberg </em>again.”</p><p>            When the Ember Island Players had invited them to come see one of their performances, that was their initial choice of play. Zuko had politely, but adamantly, told them he’d rather see something else—he explained it away by saying it was his own life they were putting onstage, and he’d already lived it. He didn’t need to see it again. But really, he didn’t want to see the revised version they were doing; he shuddered at the thought of how they’d changed the story to make Aang the hero.</p><p>            “It’ll be fun, babe.” It sounded like Sokka was barely awake, from the slow breaths Zuko could feel him exhaling on the back of his neck.</p><p>            “Since when do you call me ‘babe’?” Zuko mumbled, allowing himself to succumb to his sleepiness.</p><p>            “Since now, I guess,” Sokka replied, and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Now go to sleep.”</p><hr/><p>            A few hours later, Sokka and Zuko were woken up by Toph banging on their door, shouting, “Wake up, lovebirds!”</p><p>            “Ugh,” Zuko said to himself. He pulled his pillow over his face. “I can’t believe I agreed to go see this stupid play.”</p><p>            Next to him, Sokka was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He reached out a hand and gently shook Zuko’s shoulder. “Up and at ‘em, babe. If you want me to do your hair before we go, you better get up now.”</p><p>            “Sure thing…sweetheart,” Zuko offered lamely. “If you’re going to call me babe, then I’m going to call you that. Hah.”</p><p>            Sokka ripped the pillow away from Zuko’s face and pressed a few kisses all over his cheeks. “I love how you think giving me your own pet name is beating me at my own game. Now c’mon. Let’s go.”</p><p>            Sokka had initially pulled out their nicest clothes, but Zuko insisted they wear something nice, but not <em>too </em>nice, because he didn’t want to seem too excited that he was there. Besides, they were having dinner with the Ember Island Consul the next night, and that was an occasion worthy of their fancy clothes.</p><p>            They’d done each other’s hair, too, Sokka putting Zuko’s up into a bun and sticking the Fire Lord hairpiece into it, Zuko putting Sokka’s into a wolf-tail, even though he knew his boyfriend didn’t really need his help in doing that. By the time they were done, everyone was already outside the house, ready for the walk into town.</p><p>            “Nice outfits, boys,” Suki said with a smile. “You look nice.”</p><p>            Sokka slung an arm around her shoulders. “And you look <em>beautiful</em>!”</p><p>            “Okay, enough of that,” Katara said over the general chatter. “The show starts in twenty minutes, and it would be rude to be late, so let’s go.” She pulled Aang to the front of the pack with her, though not before Aang could shoot Zuko a curious look with a raised eyebrow, which Zuko could only return with a small shake of his head. No, he hadn’t told Sokka. Of course he hadn’t.</p><p>            “Your hair looks great,” Toph told him as they started up the path.</p><p>            “You think so? Sokka did it.” Zuko’s hand wandered up to the cold metal stuck into his bun before he realized what Toph had said. “Hey, wait a second.”</p><p>            Toph laughed and punched his arm. “Every time, Fire Jerk. You fall for it every time.” He caught her flicking her hand, the gesture almost imperceptible it was so slight, and seconds later, Sokka tripped over a rock.</p><p>            “Hey!” he cried, stumbling out of step and away from Suki.</p><p>            “Alright, that’s enough of that with Suki, go talk to your boyfriend.” Toph shuffled over to Suki and took her hand. “By the way, <em>please </em>tell me we have better seats than the last time we were here.”</p><p>            Zuko sighed. “Toph, the only place you’d be able to see is onstage, and they don’t do onstage seating. But we’re in one of the first few rows, so hopefully it’ll be…better?”</p><p>            “Don’t worry,” Suki cut in. She gently bumped her shoulder into Toph’s. “I can tell you what’s happening if you need me to.”</p><p>            “Thanks,” Toph said. Her face was bright red, and Zuko smirked, knowing she probably thought none of them could see.</p><p>            “Maybe this time won’t be so bad?” Sokka offered hopefully. “Maybe they got a new director or something.”</p><p>            Zuko smiled at Sokka, pecking a kiss on his cheek. “No, they definitely did not, and it’ll still be bad, but at least I’m seeing it with you.”</p><p>            Toph made gagging noises, but Suki shushed her.</p><p>            “Oh, please, like you’re not acting ridiculous with Suki right now,” Sokka shot back with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>            “What, because I’m holding her hand?” Toph grumbled. “Do you want another rock to your foot?”</p><p>            “No, but I’m just sayin’, your face is bright red right n—ow, c’mon!” Sokka cried as Toph launched a rock at his shin.</p><p>            Katara turned back to look at them then, her face knit in annoyance. “Can you guys please behave and stop kidding around?”</p><p>            “I’ll stop when she stops!” Sokka yelled, pointing at Toph, which earned him an eye roll from Katara.</p><p>            Thankfully, they were finally at the theater, being let in through the back entrance so Zuko wouldn’t get ambushed and cause a stampede as he entered. They found their seats quietly, and Sokka wandered off to go grab some fire flakes for them to share during the performance.</p><p>            Katara was seated as far away from them as possible, at the other end of the aisle with Aang. Somehow, Suki had ended up next to him, followed by Toph, who was next to Zuko. Sokka and Katara were farthest apart, which annoyed Zuko. Why couldn’t they just <em>talk </em>to each other?</p><p>            Sokka returned with the fire flakes just as the lights around the theater started to dim, and the audience began applauding lightly. Clearly, they wished they were seeing <em>The Boy in the Iceberg </em>instead.</p><p>            Zuko always felt tingly whenever the Dark Water Spirit was onstage—seeing the mask he used to wear as the Blue Spirit on someone else was strange. His hand brushed against Sokka’s in the fire flakes bag, which only made him jolt a little more. He stifled a yawn, already regretting accepting the invitation to come watch the show.</p><p>            Still electric from Sokka’s touch, he sighed, eyes wandering around the stage for an interesting ensemble member to watch instead of the dreadful leads, but there was no one to be found. He wondered if the performers knew he was there; maybe they were just nervous that the Fire Lord was watching them. Then again, Zuko didn’t think enough of himself to believe his presence caused any sort of emotion beyond dread.</p><p>            “No one in the North or South dresses like that water spirit,” Sokka tutted in his ear. “Who does their research?”</p><p>            “Told you it would be bad,” Zuko whispered back, glad the darkness hid his blush. Even though he knew no one beyond the first few rows could see him, being out in public with Sokka still made him feel…well, anxious wasn’t the right word, but he always felt like he was on high-alert. For what, he never knew, but the tantalizing way Sokka was brushing against his neck as he whispered his thoughts to him made him feel like a teenager again, as if he was trying to keep their relationship a secret from his nosy relatives, who almost definitely could tell something was going on between them.</p><p>            It was an open secret in the palace that Sokka and Zuko were together, and rarely could one be seen without the other. Zuko knew this, and if his servants or advisors had anything harsh to say to about it, they kept it hidden from him. But he disliked that some feelings of shame still lingered, especially when he thought about the whole <em>world </em>knowing the truth of their relationship. He wasn’t embarrassed of Sokka, not at all; he was embarrassed at himself.</p><p>            His conflicting feelings had been nagging him for months, especially bothersome now that he was insistent on telling Sokka he loved him. It reminded him of the analogy his uncle had once used to describe his inner conflict, about two dragons fighting inside of him. The dragon of his shame seemed to be chasing the dragon of his love, hovering over it, putting it in shadow. But lately, it seemed that his love-dragon had grown stronger, demanding to be known beyond Zuko and Sokka and their friends, but to the whole world. He <em>loved </em>Sokka, damn it, and he wanted everyone to know.</p><p>            Well, he wanted everyone to know maybe 60% of the time, which was a big step forward for him.</p><p>            Sokka laughed at some joke onstage, and Zuko made a note to never use the phrase “my love-dragon” around him, because he would never hear the end of it if he did.</p><p>            “Am I cursed to stay like this forever?” the Dragon Emperor/Noren wondered aloud, his hollow voice booming around them. “I am not the Dragon Emperor, and I am not a mortal. Curse the Dark Water Spirit!”</p><p>            Zuko rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue, which made Sokka giggle. Next to them, Suki was whispering a quiet explanation to Toph, who responded, “Wait, but he’s just standing in the middle of the stage, doing nothing? That sounds super boring.”</p><p>            “Shhhh!” someone sitting in the row behind them glared at them. “You are being so impolite.”</p><p>            Toph turned and returned the glare. “I’m blind, you asshole. I can’t see what’s going on.” For good measure, she waved a hand in front of her eyes.</p><p>            “Asshole?” the man scoffed indignantly. “Mind your tongue, young lady!”</p><p>            Their argument had caused a disturbance among the other patrons, who were now all whispering and staring. Zuko turned around to face the man, too, and the second his scar became visible to the stranger, the anger disappeared from his face.</p><p>            “She really is blind, you know. You should be more polite to those with different abilities than yours.”</p><p>            “M-my lord!” the man stuttered out, bowing slightly, even though he was sitting. “Forgive me, I didn’t know you were—had I known she was with you, I wouldn’t have—”</p><p>            “Whether or not she is my friend should not be the reason you treat her with compassion.” Zuko’s ears reddened when he realized how many people were looking at them. “Now please, I’d like to watch the play.”</p><p>            This made Sokka giggle again, and he leaned over to whisper against Zuko’s ear. His hand rested at the nape of Zuko’s neck, his fingers teasing through his hair. “I thought you hated this play, <em>my lord</em>.”</p><p>            Zuko returned the gesture, his arm sliding down around Sokka’s waist. “I do hate it, <em>ambassador</em>. Quit distracting me so I can at least pretend I’m enjoying myself.”</p><p>            Sokka quickly kissed his cheek then relaxed against his arm. For some reason, the back of Zuko’s neck prickled, and when he turned slightly, he could see the rude man behind them staring aghast at the very obviously flirtatious exchange he and Sokka had just had.</p><p>            <em>Dragon of love, dragon of love</em>, he thought as he turned away, not in shame, but in defiance. <em>Ugh, I thought we agreed to never use that phrase again!</em></p><hr/><p>            The rest of the play trudged on, and even though it was awful, Zuko still found himself tearing up at the final scene between the Dragon Emperor and the Dragon Empress.</p><p>            “Though I was trapped in the body of a mortal, you willingly gave me your heart! I cannot help but give you mine in return!” the Dragon Emperor cried.</p><p>            “Only with your glory hidden in false form could you finally recognize my devotion!” the Dragon Empress responded, and the two kissed, their masks pressing up against each other. Zuko raised a hand to his face, pretending to stifle a yawn, so he could surreptitiously wipe away his tears. Despite all the odds against them, they finally understood each other and the mutual love they shared. And, despite all the odds against this production, Zuko had still been moved to tears.</p><p>            After the applause had died down, the group waited in their row for the director to come bring them backstage. The rude man from before had been making caustic, whispered remarks to who Zuko assumed was his wife, pointing between Zuko and Sokka. He was terrible at being subtle.</p><p>            This annoyed Zuko, so he leaned in and gave Sokka a gentle kiss.</p><p>            “Hey, what was that for?” Sokka asked, a delighted smile spreading across his face. “Aww, did the play make you emotional?”</p><p>            “No,” Zuko sniffed. “I can’t kiss you when I want to, <em>sweetheart</em>?”</p><p>            “Still adorable that you think this is bothering me, <em>babe</em>,” Sokka retorted.</p><p>            “Ugh, not you guys too!” Toph groaned. “Gross!”</p><p>            She twitched her head strangely for a moment, and Zuko wondered why, but seconds later he heard the rude man trip and fall as he exclaimed, “Where did that rock come from?!”</p><p>            “Nice,” Zuko said and patted Toph on the shoulder. “Sorry he was a dick.”</p><p>            The last few patrons were leaving the theater when a man dressed in all black hurried forward from backstage. “Ah, Fire Lord Zuko!” he cried, bowing deeply. “What an honor to have you at our show tonight! And with the Avatar as well! I am Shizao, the director.”</p><p>            Zuko bowed back. “Thank you for having us. <em>Love Amongst the Dragons </em>is my favorite play.”</p><p>            “So I’ve heard,” Shizao said with a smile. “Would you be able to join us backstage, my lord? The actors and crew would love to meet you.”</p><p>            “Certainly,” Zuko said, but only because he knew it was the polite thing to do. He wanted to go home; this level of diplomatic socializing was not what he had in mind for a vacation.</p><p>            They all followed Shizao up the stairs at the side of the stage to find a crowd of actors and crew members all waiting in anticipation, some still in costume.</p><p>            “Friends!” Shizao clapped his hands together to get their attention. “As some of you know, we were honored at this performance by the presence of our Fire Lord and the Avatar!”</p><p>            “And their equally great friends,” Toph muttered, which made Suki laugh.</p><p>            “Please, be respectful and do not crowd them!” Shizao said in vain as people began to pool around Zuko and his friends, cutting them all off from each other. Sokka put a protective hand on Zuko’s elbow, keeping them close.</p><p>            He could hear Katara nearby, explaining to Shizao and what must have been the fight choreographer that the Dark Water Spirit’s fighting stances were all incorrect waterbending forms, as none of them came from the Northern or Southern styles. Aang was engrossed in conversation with the actor who had played the Dragon Emperor, and Toph and Suki were talking with the few women ensemble members of the show.</p><p>            Zuko blinked a few times as the Blue Spirit strode towards him—no, wait. It was just the actor who played the Dark Water Spirit. He took off his mask and bowed.</p><p>            “It’s an honor to meet you, my lord,” he said. “I’m Zosi.”</p><p>            “Hey, I know you!” Sokka exclaimed. “You played me!”</p><p>            Zosi cocked his head at Sokka. “Uh, I’m sorry, I don’t—”</p><p>            “Yeah, yeah, you played Sokka in <em>The Boy in the Iceberg</em>! That’s me, I’m Sokka!”</p><p>            Recognition dawned on Zosi’s face then, and he broke out in a grin very similar to Sokka’s. “<em>You’re </em>Sokka?! <em>The </em>Sokka?”</p><p>            This made Sokka puff up a little, and Zuko laughed at him. “Yeah, the one and only! Listen, this is gonna make you laugh, but years ago, when you guys first did the play, we all came in disguise, and I gave you some jokes to use—”</p><p>            “That was you too?! I still use those!” Zosi laughed and struck a pose. “Slap-a-pow!”</p><p>            Zuko let out a playful groan. “Spirits, I forgot about that one. Thanks, now that’s all he’s going to say from now on.”</p><p>            Sokka and Zosi were too engrossed in out-Sokkaing each other, and Zuko found himself alone in the crowd, observing the conversations around them. Yeah, the play had been dreadful, but this was kind of nice.</p><p>            A gentle tap on his elbow made him turn around. He found himself face to face with Shizao. “Forgive me if I’m bothering you, my lord,” he said with another deep bow.</p><p>            “No, not at all. And please, no need to address me so formally. I am here on vacation to enjoy myself, that’s all.”</p><p>            “O-of course,” he said. He seemed a little thrown at how friendly Zuko was acting. Perhaps he had met Ozai many years ago, on one of their many trips to Ember Island, and could remember how arrogantly Zuko’s father had acted. “I have something rather personal to share, and I hope you will not mind.”</p><p>            “Here, why don’t we step away from the others?” Zuko led them away to a less lit area of backstage, near some props that were clearly for another show.</p><p>            “I never thought I would get this chance,” Shizao started, his voice trembling. “I just—I wanted to thank you.”</p><p>            “Please, no thanks are needed,” Zuko replied, but he wasn’t entirely sure what Shizao was thanking him for.</p><p>            “Yes, it is.” Shizao closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “The tolerance laws you passed a few years back—well, it changed my life. My husband and I were finally able to marry, without fear of losing our jobs, or being jailed, or worse.” His eyes sparkled with tears. “To be able to live openly—it is a dream we were only able to imagine in private, until you became Fire Lord. I just…hope you know that making those laws wasn’t a mistake. You have already changed many lives.”</p><p>            To his surprise, Zuko found himself blinking back tears again. “They changed my life, too. To know that they have made such a difference for you and your husband…” he shook his head and cleared his throat. “I am honored that you shared this with me. It means a great deal to hear this.”</p><p>            He reached out and clasped Shizao’s hands warmly, and a few tears trailed down Shizao’s cheeks. “I have one more question for you, but it’s rather personal—if you don’t want to answer, I’ll understand.”</p><p>            Zuko had a feeling that he knew what the question would be. “So long as my answer remains between you and me and will never end up being performed on this stage, go ahead and ask me.”</p><p>            This made Shizao laugh. “You and Ambassador Sokka—I noticed you when you walked in, and during the intermission…I know it is perhaps out of line to ask, but are you two…?”</p><p>            He let the question hang in the air. He didn’t seem like he was prying or overly curious; his expression was almost hopeful. Hopeful that people like him and his husband existed even in the highest levels of government.</p><p>            Zuko thought of the love-dragon (ugh) and nodded. “Yes. For two years now.” He looked away for a moment. “I love him very much.”</p><p>            Shizao nodded. “I thought so; it was all over your faces. My husband Tozu was here earlier, and he told me I was crazy for thinking so.” He laughed.</p><p>            Strangely, Zuko felt a softness for the director—even if the play had been bad, even if he continued to put on productions of <em>The Boy in the Iceberg</em>, he was friendly, kind. Open. He seemed like the kind of person Sokka would like, and given that neither of them had much experience with the generations of people like them that had survived so many years of oppression and silence, it seemed like a good idea to see him again.</p><p>            “Listen, tomorrow night, we’re all having a dinner at Consul Keiji’s home. I’m sure he would be delighted if you and Tozu would join us.”</p><p>            Shizao’s eyes widened in surprise. “I—we would be honored, Lord Zuko. Honored.”</p><p>            Zuko smiled at him. “Good. I can introduce you properly to Sokka then, and I’m sure my friends won’t mind.” He bowed at the elder man. “<em>We </em>would be honored to hear<em> your</em> story. Me especially, because I always wondered…well, I always wondered how those who came before me managed to survive in the Fire Nation for so long.”</p><p>            Shizao only nodded in response. He seemed speechless.</p><p>            “Now if you’ll excuse me,” Zuko said with another bow, “I should rejoin Ambassador Sokka before he and Zosi destroy something trying to out-Sokka each other.”</p><p>            He felt like he was floating as he walked back to his boyfriend, feeling overwhelmed and delighted that Shizao had shared part of his story with him. It had never felt more important to tell Sokka that he loved him, knowing that doing so was breaking years’ worth of tyranny and oppression towards people like them in the Fire Nation—that Zuko was truly breaking free and setting an example with his love.</p><p>            <em>Mom</em>, he thought to himself, <em>I understand you now. I’m choosing love, and I hope that, wherever you are, you can see that I am. I am choosing love, and I am not ashamed.</em></p><p>           </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm so sorry for the delay in updating--I had a really hard time with this chapter! I wasn't sure how to end it, but it came to me last night, so it's here for you all now. I have the rest of the fic planned out so I promise that there will be an update within the next week!</p><p>As always, I love to read your comments and truly appreciate any that you leave!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Head to Head (Over Heels)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>After dinner at Consul Keiji's house, Zuko and Sokka talk to Shizao and his husband and hear their story. Sokka finally confronts Katara.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter was, by far, the hardest to write of any fic I think I've ever written, which is why it took so long to post (sorry to keep you waiting!). To make up for it, this chapter is longer than usual.</p><p>Thank you so much to my friends who read a few drafts of this chapter before it was posted; your help was so very appreciated.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            After about an hour of laying out in the sun on the beach, Sokka finally turned to Zuko and asked, “Wanna play some volleyball? Girls versus boys?”</p><p>            Zuko cracked his good eye open and looked down at him. “Toph can’t see where the ball is if it’s in the air.”</p><p>            “Oh, lemme just go tell her you don’t think she can play. I’m sure she’ll love that.” Sokka jokingly tried to get up but was stopped by Zuko’s arms pulling him back down. Zuko pressed a kiss to his forehead.</p><p>            “You know what I mean, <em>sweetheart</em>.” Sokka’s heart fluttered at hearing Zuko’s new pet name for him, even though he knew Zuko was doing it to annoy him, which honestly made it much cuter. He liked it. He liked being Zuko’s sweetheart.</p><p>            “Alright, lemme go grab the girls, <em>babe</em>.” He winked back at Zuko and grinned.</p><p>            By the girls, he, of course, meant Suki and Toph; Katara was still busying herself with Aang’s present, he assumed. Aang was probably still bumming around; maybe some volleyball would cheer him up.</p><p>            Sokka approached the house and peered down the side path that Aang had sort of claimed for himself, and sure enough, he could hear Momo chittering at something. Aang chittered back in response, and Sokka stifled a giggle.</p><p>            “Hey man,” Sokka said when he was a few feet away. Aang hadn’t noticed him at all. “Uh…am I interrupting?”</p><p>            Aang replied, completely seriously, “No, I was just telling Momo about my problems.”</p><p>            Poor kid. Alright, he really needed a distraction. “We’re gonna play some volleyball, if you wanna join.”</p><p>            “Sure!” Aang leaped up and flew past Sokka. “Race you there!”</p><p>            “I have to find the girls!” Sokka called back, but Aang was already so far away that there was no way he could have heard what Sokka said.</p><p>            He hadn’t seen Suki and Toph since breakfast that morning, and neither had come out to the beach yet, as far as he knew, so he decided to check the house. If they weren’t in there, then maybe they were out back sparring or something (although who could ever spar against Toph?).</p><p>            The living room and the kitchen were empty, so he walked down the hallway towards Toph and Suki’s rooms. Back when they were younger, the girls had claimed the ground floor, and the boys had claimed the top floor, and even though basically all of them were in relationships now, they still kept their old rooms.</p><p>            As he walked towards Suki’s room at the end of the hallway, he passed by Katara’s door. He hesitated for a moment, wondering if he should invite her to come play—who knows, maybe she’d finished her weaving. But he decided against it, because he was still kind of mad at her, and she was still kind of mad at him, and it wasn’t worth fighting about if she would think him being friendly was just an excuse to distract her.</p><p>            Sokka knocked on Suki’s door and heard no response, but he could hear some noise coming from Toph’s room a few feet away. He shuffled over, his hand outstretched to knock on the door, but when he discerned the noises as <em>moans</em>, he quickly dropped it and shouted, “TOPH AND SUKI SORRY TO BOTHER YOU BUT WE’RE GONNA PLAY VOLLEYBALL IF YOU WANNA JOIN!” and ran as far away as he could.</p><p>            Back out on the beach, Aang and Zuko were discussing something as Momo napped between them. Zuko smiled at Sokka and offered his hand to him once he was sitting down.</p><p>            “Are they gonna come play?” Zuko asked, sliding his arm around Sokka.</p><p>            “Uh, they’re busy, so maybe in a little bit,” Sokka chuckled nervously.</p><p>            “What were they doing?” Aang had laid back on the ground and was staring up at the sky, one hand hovering above his face to keep the sun out of his eyes.</p><p>            Sokka and Zuko exchanged a knowing, exasperated glance. “Spending quality time with each other?” Sokka offered, then shook his head. “Anyway, this gives us the perfect opportunity to have some <em>guy talk</em>!”</p><p>            “How is that any different from what we’re doing now?” Zuko said. “We’re guys, and we’re talking.”</p><p>            “No, no, I mean like, <em>guy</em> talk!” Sokka said excitedly. In his many years as the only grown-ish dude in the South Pole, he had spent hours imagining what conversations would be like between the men of his tribe. It was so exhausting listening to Gran-Gran and Katara sometimes, especially because his naïve misogyny made him believe that neither of them could really teach him how to be a warrior (which, at the time, was his only aspiration in life).</p><p>            “Well…what do guys talk about?” Aang asked curiously. He seemed more amused than confused, unlike Zuko, who was giving Sokka a totally bewildered look.</p><p>            “You know…” he said, and realized that actually, none of them had ever really had Guy Talk growing up, so it was up to Sokka now to make it up. “Like, talking about muscles! And wrestling! And…fighting! Being sweaty! Girls! Dicks! Sex! I don’t know, all that stuff!”</p><p>            Aang scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “I mean, I guess we could talk about those things, but why would we?”</p><p>            “I don’t want to talk about any of those things, and definitely not with Aang,” Zuko mumbled.</p><p>            Sokka flopped down on the sand. “Lame! Both of you are so lame!” He considered that maybe he had poorly explained what guy talk was, and that was the cause of their reluctance, but how could he have been clearer? He wasn’t sure.</p><p>            “Why wouldn’t you wanna talk about it with me?” Aang sounded hurt. “Is it because you’re embarrassed about your body? Because you shouldn’t be. No one should be made to be ashamed of how they look, and it’s normal to feel insecure about things like how big your—”</p><p>            “That! That’s why!” Zuko cried, cutting Aang off. “Spirits, where are Suki and Toph?”</p><p>            “Here, but regretting that we walked in on this conversation,” Toph called from behind them. Sokka sat back up and waved excitedly. “Aang, I don’t know why you’re giving the puberty talk to our friend who is apparently an adult, but I’m begging you to please never bring it up again.”</p><p>            Suki shook her head and laughed. “I knew we should have tried harder to convince Katara to come and play.”</p><p>            Sokka leapt to his feet, grateful that everyone would now be distracted from what was, in their eyes, Sokka’s failure at having a normal conversation. “Okay, I decided that this time, there’s <em>no </em>bending. You guys have to play like me and Suki do.”</p><p>            All at once, everyone burst out into protest.</p><p>            Zuko, still seeming confused, asked, “How would firebending help me play volleyball?” as Aang said, “I guess if you don’t want to have fun, we can.” Toph chimed in the loudest, asking, “How am I supposed to play this game at all if I can’t bend? I’m not gonna stand around getting hit by the ball because you’re feeling insecure.”</p><p>            Sokka sighed. “Alright, fine. No bending, except for Toph.” He wasn’t entirely sure if that would offer any advantage to the girls’ team, but he wasn’t about to call her bluff to be proven wrong moments later.</p><p>            “Want me on your team to even things out?” Aang offered to Suki, and Toph sent a rock flying at his face seconds later.</p><p>            “I am <em>not </em>a disadvantage!” Toph said indignantly. “I’m gonna beat your ass into the ground, Twinkletoes!”</p><p>            “I wasn’t saying that you were!” Aang cried, but Toph was already marking the edges of the sand court with rocks so she could feel where the boundaries were.</p><p>            Sokka rubbed his hands together. “We’re totally gonna beat them,” he whispered to Zuko.</p><p>            Zuko kissed his temple and laughed. “We’re definitely not, but I’m glad you’re excited.”</p><p>            The game began somewhat uneventfully, with Suki calling out to Toph various locations of where the ball was going to land. Toph, in turn, shot up a pillar of rock to aim the ball back towards Suki, who would spike it over the net. Sokka and Aang kept diving for the ball at the same time while Zuko hung back and shook his head. And if Sokka noticed that Aang was using just a little airbending—well, he didn’t mention it, because pretty soon they were losing.</p><p>            He was mystified watching how Toph and Suki were working in sync. After Toph sent the ball flying back to Suki, she shifted her feet almost imperceptibly and called out to Suki where to aim, and it was always a place that none of the guys could get to fast enough, somehow behind them or in their blind spots. He noticed, though, that Toph tended to aim towards Zuko’s left—his bad side—so when Zuko went for the ball, he always stepped out of bounds. Initially, placing Zuko on the left of the court seemed like a good idea, because his good eye would be able to see most of the court. Now, Sokka had another plan.</p><p>            “Babe!” he shouted. “Right corner!”</p><p>            Zuko shuffled to his right, and in the empty spot where he was standing seconds before, Sokka dove for the ball and managed to hit it to Aang, who slammed it down onto the other side. Suki went for it too late, and the boys scored a point.</p><p>            “Yeah!” Sokka shouted. “In your faces! Hah!”</p><p>            “Oh, you scored a point!” Toph shouted back sarcastically. “You guys have a fighting chance now, since the score is 1 to 14!”</p><p>            In the end, the guys lost by an embarrassing margin to Toph and Suki. They all went inside for lunch, and as they all laughed over their best and worst plays, Sokka caught sight of Katara leaving the kitchen with her own lunch. She was looking at him and Zuko but hadn’t noticed that Sokka had seen her. She looked confused, and he didn’t understand why. When she realized Sokka was watching her, her eyes widened, and she scurried away like a scared turtle-duck.</p><p>            Sokka fell quiet as some of his anger dissipated into sadness. Of course, Zuko noticed and squeezed his hand.</p><p>            “Everything okay?” Zuko whispered to him.</p><p>            “Yeah,” Sokka said, plastering on a smile, ignoring the hollow feeling in his chest. “All good, babe.”</p><hr/><p>            Later, after a particularly languid hour of shower sex, Sokka was doing Zuko’s hair in preparation for their dinner with the Ember Island Consul.</p><p>            “Remind me why we’re doing this on vacation?” he asked. “You normally hate these diplomatic dinners. And I thought you didn’t like this guy.”</p><p>            Zuko sighed and closed his eyes. “Consul Keiji was a friend of my mother’s,” he explained. “When I was little, I didn’t like him, but probably only because when he talked with my mother, I was left alone with Azula.”</p><p>            Sokka hesitated, the comb in his hands hovering over Zuko’s hair. “Ah,” was all he replied as he resumed brushing out the tangles.</p><p>            “Anyway,” Zuko continued, “there’s someone coming who I want you to meet.”</p><p>            This piqued Sokka’s interest. “Really? Who?”</p><p>            “It’s a surprise.” Zuko smiled a mysterious smile that made Sokka want to drop everything, get back in the shower with him, and never leave.</p><p>            “It better be a good one,” Sokka said, but couldn’t hide the smile on his face.</p><p>            After a few minutes of silence, Zuko said, “You know, you don’t always have to do my hair.”</p><p>            Sokka stopped, looking at their reflections in the mirror. Both of them shirtless and slightly sweaty from the evening air, Sokka’s hand gently tangled in Zuko’s hair. It was intimate, and he liked it that way.</p><p>            “Why? Do you not like it?”</p><p>            “No, no!” Zuko protested, his eyes widening. “It’s just—I don’t want you to feel like you <em>have </em>to do it. I should probably learn to do it myself anyway.”</p><p>            “I like doing your hair,” Sokka pouted. “And why would you need to learn when I’m here?”</p><p>            “If you ever go away, or something,” Zuko said, then looked like he regretted it. “Not that you’re leaving or anything, but just—ugh. Forget it.”</p><p>            Sokka put the comb aside on the dressing table and rested his hands on Zuko’s shoulders. “Is something wrong?”</p><p>            “No! Nothing’s wrong!” Zuko said quickly, then buried his head in his hands like he did when he was frustrated. “I just feel like you’re always taking care of me, and I’m never taking care of you, and that’s not fair.”</p><p>            Sokka felt a little bewildered at Zuko’s sudden insecurity. Sure, he did things for Zuko, like his hair or helping him put on his outfits or making him dinner while he stayed up late to work, but he didn’t feel like it was a chore to do any of that. He liked helping Zuko, because he loved Zuko, and isn’t that what love was? Feeling happy taking care of another person, not out of obligation, but because you wanted to, because it made you both happy?</p><p>            “You totally take care of me, dude,” Sokka finally replied, and resumed combing Zuko’s hair. “I like doing this stuff for you. Really. If I didn’t, you know I wouldn’t do it.” He paused, then added, “Besides, if I do your hair, I get to stare at you and think about how amazingly handsome and hot you are.”</p><p>            Zuko averted his eyes and blushed. “You’re too good for me.”</p><p>            Sokka stopped combing again, this time wrapping his arms around Zuko, resting his chin on Zuko’s head. “Don’t say stuff like that. We’re perfect together.” He pressed a kiss into Zuko’s hair. “Are you nervous about seeing Keiji or something? Is that why you’re so down on yourself right now?”</p><p>            In truth, Sokka always hated when Zuko got like this, because he could tell that his insecurity came from a place of deep hurt, of years and years of being told loving a man the way he did Sokka was wrong, shameful, disgusting. He wished he knew how to take it all away, how to make Zuko see himself through Sokka’s eyes. He wanted to punch every single person who’d ever made Zuko feel so small, so worthless.</p><p>            “I saw the way Katara was looking at us earlier,” Zuko finally said. He leaned back into Sokka’s touch. “I don’t know what to make of it.”</p><p>            “I don’t either,” Sokka confessed, “but maybe Katara is just really stressed about Aang’s birthday, and seeing us together made her jealous she can’t be doing the same thing with Aang right now.”</p><p>            That hollow feeling from earlier had returned to his chest, little needles of doubt poking at his mind. He knew Katara, and he knew the expression on her face wasn’t one of jealousy, it was one of confusion; over what, though, he wasn’t sure.</p><p>            “Maybe,” Zuko said, but Sokka could tell that neither of them was really convinced.</p><p>            This time he moved to kiss Zuko on the lips, kneeling slightly so their heads would be level. “I don’t care what she thinks, anyway. I adore you.”</p><p>            Zuko’s warm hand rested on his cheek, and Sokka closed his eyes. If life could be moments like this forever, he felt positive he’d never be unhappy again.</p><p>            “I…adore you too, Sokka.” Zuko kissed him gently again. “I really do.”</p><p>            As much as he wanted to stay wrapped in Zuko’s embrace, he knew they had to finish getting ready. He moved back behind Zuko and grabbed the Fire Lord emblem for Zuko’s hair. “Just ignore her, okay? We’re gonna go have dinner and you’ll surprise me, and it’ll be nice.”</p><p>            That made Zuko smile.  “Yeah, it will.”</p><hr/><p>            Consul Keiji’s house was resplendent and beautiful, with the best view on Ember Island—better than the one from their house. It was on the opposite side of the island, so instead of facing nothing but open ocean, it looked out on the mountains and volcanoes that made up the Fire Nation mainland. Keiji had a swimming pool in the back (even though the ocean was literally right outside) near an outdoor garden teeming with exotic flowers. The inside of the house was decorated in trinkets and treasures from across the world; some looked older than the house itself, and Sokka wondered if they had been passed down over the generations, back before the hundred years where Ember Island became exclusively for the Fire Nation elite.</p><p>            Keiji himself was around Hakoda’s age, Sokka guessed, and his wife, Hua, was from the Earth Kingdom. They had no children, but Hua told them that she often taught classes in weaving and sewing to any of the local kids who wanted to learn. Zuko had whispered to him that when he was younger, Hua had to lie about where she was from whenever his father was around. Seeing her now, dressed in a beautiful Earth Kingdom dress, made Sokka smile.</p><p>            Everyone else seemed equally impressed, except Toph, who quietly lamented the fact that the house was raised far above ground with wooden floors. She had taken Suki’s arm very quickly after she tripped on a rug she hadn’t seen coming.</p><p>            Looking around at his friends, Sokka felt proud (and a little emotional) at how grown-up they all looked, dressed in their finest robes, representing each of the nations they came from, no longer needing to blend in on the island like they had years ago. He took Zuko’s hand in his and flashed him a beaming smile.</p><p>            A few minutes after they’d finished their little tour of Keiji’s estate, there was a knock at the door. Two guys were standing there, and Sokka thought he vaguely recognized one of them, but couldn’t place it.</p><p>            “Fire Lord Zuko,” they both said and bowed.</p><p>            “Please, Shizao, I told you—no need for formality.” Zuko strode forward to embrace the man, and there was no trace of his usual hesitancy and uncomfortable way of interacting with others. The rest of them watched their muttered exchange with curiosity until Zuko put a hand on both men’s shoulders, looking like a proud father.</p><p>            “Everyone, I’d like to introduce you to Shizao and his husband, Tozu. We all met Shizao briefly last night, after we saw the play.”</p><p>            Sokka felt like a lightning bolt had struck him in the heart. His eyes widened. Zuko had said Shizao had a <em>husband</em>. The two men were older than his father, and they were married, meaning that they had probably had to keep each other a secret for so many years…he’d only ever heard stories of older people like them, but now, here two were, in the flesh. Without meaning to, he rushed forward and introduced himself.</p><p>            “I’m Ambassador Sokka.” He bowed, then put his arm around Zuko. “I’m the Fire Lord’s boyfriend.”</p><p>            Shizao and Tozu exchanged a knowing glance, both breaking out into smiles. Sokka wondered, briefly, if that was how he and Zuko would look someday. “It is our pleasure, Ambassador Sokka, truly,” Shizao told him.</p><p>            “Shizao!” Keiji called out. “What a lovely surprise to see you and Tozu here! Good thing we made extra food!”</p><p>            Hua then ushered them all towards the dining room, the smell of delicious meat wafting through the air and making Sokka’s mouth water. As everyone else went in, Sokka stopped Zuko in the hallway so they were alone.</p><p>            He turned to Zuko. “Shizao and Tozu—they were your surprise, weren’t they?”</p><p>            “Yeah,” Zuko said with a grin. “I thought you’d be excited to meet them.”</p><p>            “I have so many questions for them.” Sokka was surprised at the emotion that was seeping into his voice. “I’ve never met—”</p><p>            “Anyone older that was like us, I know. Shizao and I talked about it last night.”</p><p>            Sokka shook his head, feeling a kind of grateful disbelief that Zuko had set this all up. He quickly kissed him and whispered in his ear, “I really do adore you, you know.” Which made Zuko blush so fiercely that Sokka wanted to melt a little bit.</p><p>            Keiji and Hua sat at the head of the table, while Aang and Zuko sat opposite them. Sokka, Suki, and Toph were together on one side, and Katara, Shizao, and Tozu were together on the other. Sokka couldn’t help staring at the elderly couple, and thankfully, when they caught him looking, they gave him a knowing smile, like they, too, had done the same many years before.</p><p>            Servants brought out the dishes, whisking in and out of the kitchen, and Keiji raised his glass in a toast.</p><p>            “To a new era of the world, ushered in by the young people we are honored to have as guests!” he cried. After they all clinked glasses, everyone dug in to the delicious food.</p><p>            Conversations erupted, crisscrossing the table, with Katara and Hua discussing weaving, Tozu, Suki, and Toph discussing Toph’s metalbending school, and Aang, Zuko, and Keiji engaged in some kind of political discussion that Sokka was too excited to focus in on.</p><p>            Once everyone had finished, Keiji announced that more refreshments awaited them in their living room (which looked more like a banquet hall than anything else), and conversation continued. Zuko had managed to extract himself from Keiji and nodded at Sokka, motioning for him to come join him on the couch opposite Shizao and Tozu. They were all seated in a corner of the giant room, far enough from everyone else that their conversation wouldn’t be overheard.</p><p>            “I have so many questions for you,” Sokka blurted out before he’d even sat down. “I’ve never—we’ve never met anyone else like us who wasn’t our age.”</p><p>            When Zuko reached for his hand, Sokka smiled it him, which made Tozu laugh, for some reason. “Last night, I told Shizao he was crazy to think you two were together, and now I’m eating my words.” He shook his head. “Young love. It’s been so long…I suppose I’d forgotten what it looked like.”</p><p>            Zuko blushed, but Sokka’s face split into a huge grin, too enthralled to be embarrassed.</p><p>            “If you wouldn’t mind,” Zuko began, “we’d both love to hear your story. We’ve never gotten to hear the stories of people like us told first-hand.”</p><p>            Shizao nodded, his arm wrapped around Tozu. “Honey, why don’t you tell it?” he asked. “I may be the director, but Tozu has always been the better storyteller.”</p><p>            “Oh, he loves to flatter me,” Tozu replied. There was so much love in his eyes as he looked at his husband, it made Sokka’s heart leap. It reminded him of the little glances he’d snuck at himself and Zuko in the mirror as he did Zuko’s hair, and the thought of what that could mean was almost too much to even imagine.</p><p>            “Well, Shizao and I met when we were in school here, working on a play, of course.” Tozu rolled his eyes fondly. “Even though most Fire Nation schools rarely included the arts in their curriculum at the time, Ember Island was spared, because our art has been and always will be one of the primary cultural draws in the Fire Nation. In any case, the play was written and produced entirely by the students. I wrote the play, and Shizao was the director. We were instructed to work closely together as I developed an idea and wrote, and I was embarrassingly awkward and shy, with a terrible crush on Shizao. So I wrote a play about it—a very bad play, mind you—which Shizao quickly saw through.”</p><p>            “It wasn’t bad,” Shizao interjected, then turned to Sokka and Zuko. “I found it very sweet.”</p><p>            “You’re only saying that because you love me,” Tozu teased, then continued. “Anyway, Shizao asked me right away if this play was about the two of us, and I said yes. It was risky to admit, and riskier still to have written down a story of two boys falling in love, but my family was more tolerant than most, and it had never occurred to me that such a topic was considered illegal. So Shizao told me there was no way we could do my play for the school, and I was crushed. Then he said, ‘But there’s no reason we can’t make your play come to life using just the two of us.’”</p><p>            “And do you know what he said?” Shizao laughed. “He said, ‘But I’m a terrible actor.’”</p><p>            Tozu nudged Shizao with his shoulder. “What happened to letting me tell it? Anyway, yes, I completely misunderstood him, so Shizao kissed me, and we kept meeting under the guise of ‘working’ on the play. I had to write a completely different one, which was hard to do when all I wanted was to make out with my director.”</p><p>            “That is…so sweet,” Sokka said. “Like, so romantic.”</p><p>            There was a sadness in Tozu’s eyes then, a familiar look to the one in Gran-Gran’s eyes when she talked about her sister. His chest constricted in preparation for the inevitable heartbreak that would come next.</p><p>            “The play was a success, and throughout the rest of our time in school, Shizao and I went on to write and produce many plays together. But by the time we graduated, we had to enlist in the Fire Nation Army, and we never knew if we would see each other again. In our four years of fighting, it became immediately obvious to us that our relationship, while somewhat of an open secret on Ember Island, was dangerous and illegal to everyone else around us. I tried to reorient myself, to make myself feel <em>something </em>for women, but I couldn’t, and it was obvious to my fellow soldiers, who made my life a nightmare for the four years I served.</p><p>            “When we got back to Ember Island and found each other again, I was so relieved that we were both alive. I wanted us to run away and get married—I even suggested we flee to an Air Temple and become monks, because I knew we would be accepted there. But it was not to be. Whatever had happened between Shizao and I as teenagers had been excusable to everyone else, but now, as men, as veterans, we were told we had a duty to uphold, and we were both forced into engagements to women by our families. And then we stopped seeing each other.”</p><p>            “Oh,” Zuko said, quietly. Sokka squeezed his hand as tears stung his eyes.</p><p>            Even now, years later, the hurt that conforming had caused Shizao and Tozu was written all over their faces, the way they leaned closer together when remembering how they were forced apart. Sokka felt incredibly lucky that he and Zuko had never faced such problems, and was glad they were both working to make sure no one else like them ever would, either.</p><p>            “The marriages didn’t last,” Shizao sighed. He was rubbing Tozu’s back to comfort him. “We found each other again and left for one of the new Fire Nation colonies, hoping to lay low for a few years then return. We were terrified every day that someone would find us out, that we would be arrested and sent to the Boiling Rock. When we returned to Ember Island, we acted as though our relationship was strictly professional. Fire Lord Azulon had started to tighten his control on the content in Fire Nation art, so censors would come and read Tozu’s work before it was permitted to be performed. We knew any hint that people like us existed would be the end of us both, so he turned to writing plays about the history of the Fire Nation—a boring, safe topic. In secret, he wrote plays about people like us, and at night, in the dark, we dreamed aloud of a future where our history was completely different, where neither of us had to hide.”</p><p>            Sokka wanted to curse out Azulon and Sozin for being the massive prejudiced assholes that they were, but he kept quiet and wiped away his tears. Next to him, Zuko sniffled; it seemed all four of them were crying now.</p><p>            “We lived that way for so many years,” Tozu whispered, shaking his head. “Constantly scared to death of any little mistake, causing even the slightest suspicion about our relationship. Azulon died, and we were hopeful Ozai would correct his mistakes, but we were fools to even think such a thing could happen. When the war ended and Zuko took the throne, we didn’t even bother entertaining the idea that he could be more tolerant than his predecessors.”</p><p>            “We’re so glad we were wrong.” Tears trickled down Shizao’s cheeks. “As soon as the tolerance laws were passed, we finally got married, after nearly 40 years together. We were worried how others would respond and were shocked when we were accepted. We hadn’t needed to hide as hard as we had, it seemed. But your laws—they finally put words to the doubts at the back of everyone’s minds about how the Fire Nation functioned, about what we had been told was right and wrong.”</p><p>            “I know Shizao already told you thank you, but I want to do the same.” Tozu rubbed his eyes and sat up a little straighter. He reached out and took Zuko and Sokka’s hands in his own. “You two are the future we could only dream of as young men. You have worked so hard to open the hearts and minds of the entire world, along with your friends.”</p><p>            “I wish I could have known you when I was younger,” Zuko choked out. It made Sokka ache even harder, so he wrapped his boyfriend up in his arms. “Maybe I wouldn’t have hated myself so much if I had known…”</p><p>            Shizao had reached out for Zuko and squeezed his hand fiercely. “But don’t you see? You and Sokka are what Tozu and I could only imagine in secret. You are our wildest dreams realized, better than any play we could have made, because you are <em>real</em>. And somewhere out there, there are children who look up to <em>you</em>, because you are proud and unashamed in who you are, about your love.”</p><p>            They were all silent for a moment, blinking away their tears, releasing heavy sighs tinged with years of pain and solitude. Sokka pressed his head against Zuko’s shoulder, not wanting to let him go. It felt like his feelings had crystallized, sharpened into fine points that threatened to burst out of his mouth. <em>I love you, I love you, I love you</em>, his thoughts intoned, making him feel silly that he’d never brought it up before.</p><p>            He had so much he wanted to say at that moment. To tell Zuko he wanted the whole world to know about them, to live out the wildest dreams of the people like them who had never even gotten the chance to think so big, to let every child who had ever felt alone because of who they loved know that there was nothing wrong with them, that choosing love didn’t have to mean choosing misery, too.</p><p>            It had never occurred to him that loving Zuko, just being <em>with </em>Zuko, was somehow an act of revolution and rebellion, but hearing the story of Shizao and Tozu, he realized that they had become more than just Sokka and Zuko, two dudes dating each other. They were Sokka and Zuko, the embodiment of the hopes and dreams of the people who came before them, the first story of its kind in hundreds of years to be lived out loud, unashamed, in full view of the public.</p><p>            He was the first to break the silence. “Tozu, do you still have the plays you wrote over the years? The ones that only you and Shizao ever read?”</p><p>            “Yes, why?” Tozu cocked his head in confusion.</p><p>            “You should publish them. No, no—you <em>need </em>to publish them. They’re like your own account of how things used to be, living proof that people like us have always been around.” He realized that maybe the plays were too personal to be shared publicly, so he added, “If that’s too much, I hope you’ll consider sending copies to me and Zuko. We’d love to read all of them.”</p><p>            “I-I’ve never even thought of it as a possibility,” Tozu admitted. “Let me think on it. That’s not a no—I just haven’t looked at those plays in years, and some of them are too painful to remember. I’ll write you as soon as I’ve decided.”</p><p>            “Of course,” Zuko chimed in.</p><p>            “Can I hug you guys?” Sokka asked, feeling embarrassed at how childish he sounded.</p><p>            “Of course,” Shizao said with a smile.</p><p>            As they all exchanged hugs, Keiji called out that dessert was ready, so they all migrated back to the dining room. Even though the story they’d just heard was heavy, Sokka didn’t feel sad. That hollowness in his chest seemed to have filled itself up with the knowledge that somewhere in the world, there was a kid who felt just like he did, and years in the future, there would be many kids who would wonder why anyone like them had ever felt ashamed.</p><hr/><p>            After dessert and drinks, Sokka and Zuko stepped onto the porch of the house. It was around sunset, and the sky was full of brilliant pinks and purples that peeked through the distant mountains and sparkled in the ocean. It was breathtaking.</p><p>            “Wow,” Zuko breathed, and Sokka just nodded.</p><p>            The wine had made him feel warm and loose, a little fuzzy, and he leaned against Zuko, who had put his arm around him. And even though the view was beautiful, he closed his eyes, breathing in Zuko’s familiar scent (he smelled like a campfire), hearing Zuko’s heart beat in his chest.</p><p>            He wanted to stay like this forever, in the safety of Zuko’s embrace, surrounded by love and joy, with the feeling that the future was bright and would only get better. And that the future would include him and Zuko, together for the long haul.</p><p>            Sokka turned slightly and draped his arms loosely over Zuko’s shoulders, joining his hands behind his boyfriend’s neck, almost like they were dancing together. “Hey,” he whispered.</p><p>            Zuko blushed and smiled. “Hey.”</p><p>            His mind was blanking on what to say, so he just leaned in and kissed Zuko instead. It was slow and sweet, with no urgency to pull apart. When they did, they kept their foreheads pressed together for a moment.</p><p>            “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Sokka said. His heart fluttered; was he really about to tell Zuko he loved him, right now? Was it just the wine making him feel uninhibited? Should he wait?</p><p>            “Really? Me too,” Zuko replied.</p><p>            “Yeah. I think I’m—”</p><p>            But before he could finish his sentence, he heard someone say, “Sokka? Zuko? What are you doing?”</p><p>            Ugh. Katara. He peered around Zuko and glared at her. “What does it look like?”</p><p>            Something unreadable crossed Katara’s face, and her expression crumpled in on itself. “I-I don’t—”</p><p>            “I’m out here having a romantic moment with my boyfriend, that’s what I’m doing, and you’re ruining it. So thanks, Katara.”</p><p>            And to his surprise, Katara laughed, but it was humorless and flat. “Right. Because you and Zuko are dating.” Her voice was thick with sarcasm.</p><p>            “Yeah, we are!” Sokka yelled, not meaning to shout, but unable to help himself. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole week!”</p><p>            This stunned Katara into silence. She stared at the two of them for a moment, then whispered, “No,” to herself, and ran. She tore down the stairs of the porch, sprinting across the beach, getting herself as far from the two of them as she could.</p><p>            “Katara!” he shouted after her, and turned to follow, but Zuko grabbed his arm.</p><p>            “Let her go.” Zuko looked at her retreating figure, fading into the darkness, with a mix of confusion and anxiety. “Maybe she just—she just needs…” But he was unable to finish that thought.</p><p>            “Yeah.” Sokka turned towards the mountains, which looked like angry spikes without the light of the sunset peeking through them. He tried to pretend he was unbothered by Katara’s reaction, but he failed miserably. He knew the hurt was written all over his face. “Maybe she just needs time.”</p><hr/><p>            Sokka barely slept when they got home, tossing and turning the whole night. When he woke up in the morning, his hurt at Katara had transformed into anger, and he wanted nothing more than to march into her room and confront her. And even though part of him felt like she deserved that, the other part of him—the brotherly part of him—knew it wouldn’t do any good, so he went for a walk outside.</p><p>            It didn’t help, and, in fact, probably made things worse. He was stewing as he stalked along the sand, feeling confused, then feeling angry that he was confused at all. Katara had no right and no good reason to be acting the way she had been for the past week, and he’d let it slide in the interest of keeping the peace, but now, after what she’d done the night before, he couldn’t ignore it.</p><p>            He couldn’t ignore it because when she turned and ran away, the only explanation he could come up with was that she was disgusted by what she saw. Maybe that was overdramatic, but it made him sick to his stomach to think of her that way.</p><p>            After about an hour of pacing and muttering to himself, he finally stormed up to Katara’s room and let himself in without knocking. She was sitting at the loom, an almost complete tapestry stretched across it, with her head in her hands. She didn’t need to turn around to know who had just come in.</p><p>            “Alright, what’s your problem?” Sokka said, unable to keep the accusatory tone out of his voice. “Is the problem that I’m dating a guy? Or is the problem that I’m dating Zuko?”</p><p>            “No, it’s—” Katara started, like a knee jerk reaction, before finally mumbling, “It’s both, Sokka. It’s both. But not because—”</p><p>            He scoffed at her. “I can’t believe you.”</p><p>            “No, I can’t believe <em>you</em>!” she cried, finally turning around to look at him. Her eyes were full of tears. “I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore!”</p><p>            “Me?!” Sokka spluttered out. “No fucking way, Katara. Do you know how ridiculous you sound?”</p><p>            She ignored him. “How long has this even been going on? How long have you known that you…felt that way about guys?”</p><p>            “Two years, and for as long as I can remember.” He leaned up against the wall to keep himself from pacing; it made him feel like a wild animal caught in a cage, waiting for the chance to lunge at anyone who got close enough.</p><p>            Katara was fully crying then, squeezing her eyes shut in a feeble attempt to stop herself. “You’re my brother and you didn’t even tell me. Did you not trust me? Were you worried I’d hate you or something?”</p><p>            She sounded so wounded, and it only confused Sokka more. Hadn’t she, just hours earlier, glared at him and Zuko being affectionate? Seemed angry and disgusted and a ton of other negative things?</p><p>            “I tried to, but you wouldn’t listen! You didn’t want to hear it!” Sokka balled his hands into fists. “What am I supposed to think when you look confused and upset at me and Zuko? That it isn’t you being disgusted that both of us like dudes?”</p><p>            “Sokka, of course not!” Katara shouted. “How could you even think that I would feel that way? You know I’m not like that!”</p><p>            “It’s not like you gave me any reason to think different!” Sokka exclaimed. “I tried to tell you a ton of times, and you ignored me. Do you have any idea what this feels like for me? To try to share something so personal and have my own sister pretend it isn’t happening?”</p><p>            “Oh, <em>now</em> you remember I’m your sister.” Katara’s bitter tone confused him, and some of the tension in his body eased.</p><p>            “What do you mean?”</p><p>            “For the first 14 years of my life, you were my only friend. We were all each other had. And I thought we told each other everything. At least, I told <em>you </em>everything.” Katara let out a sigh. “But now, for two years, you kept your relationship with Zuko a secret from me, and apparently every single one of our friends knew you liked guys before I did. And I’m your sister.”</p><p>            The hurt in her voice broke Sokka open. His relationship with Zuko wasn’t ever meant to be a secret, but somehow, in his failure to share his life with his sister, that was how things had turned out. It must have seemed to her that he was embarrassed or worried about how she would react.</p><p>            “I’m really sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean to keep it from you. Honest. And I didn’t tell you about my feelings for guys before because…well, you’re my baby sister. It felt weird to try to talk about it, so I kept it to myself.” There was a hint of pleading in his voice.</p><p>            “It’s like this whole thing with Zuko has changed who you are, and I don’t recognize you anymore. It’s like…it’s like you’ve outgrown me.”</p><p>            He rushed to her side and knelt by her. “Hey, that’s not true. I’m still your goofy older brother. I’m still Sokka, the meat and sarcasm guy. You just know a little more about me now.”</p><p>            When he reached out for her, she pulled away. She kept her eyes closed when she spoke, like she didn’t even want to see him. “You spend two years away from me and abandon the South Pole and start dating Zuko and living in the Fire Nation, and—”</p><p>            “Wait, hold on,” he interrupted. “I didn’t abandon the South Pole for Zuko. I didn’t ‘abandon’ it at all. I left because I wanted to help the whole world rebuild, not just the South Pole. And for the record, Katara, <em>you </em>left the South Pole too.”</p><p>            “But that’s different!” Katara cried, finally looking at him again. “I’m with Aang, helping him preserve the culture and history of the Air Nomads!”</p><p>            “Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s more important!” Sokka pulled away from her and backed up. “I don’t get why you can’t see that helping the world rebuild and getting new trade routes and stuff is a <em>good </em>thing. And you also live with your boyfriend somewhere else, but I’m not holding it against you!”</p><p>            Katara looked him in the eyes, and her icy stare made Sokka shiver. It was a cold, calculated look that reminded him of when she had talked about exacting revenge on the man who killed their mother. She was about to say something that he knew he didn’t want to hear.</p><p>            “But Aang and I love each other. Have you and Zuko ever even said that?”</p><p><em>            I was going to when you interrupted us last night</em>, he thought with annoyance, but couldn’t come up with any witty retort to tell her off. “Well, no, not yet, but—”</p><p>            She turned back to her weaving. “Then maybe you left everything and everyone behind for a relationship that isn’t as serious as you thought.” Her voice was gentle, like he was a little kid she was trying to coax into eating his vegetables, but her words still cut Sokka deep.</p><p>            Sokka recoiled like she’d slapped him, finding himself speechless and infuriated. That was so, <em>so </em>not true, not even a little bit. His relationship with Zuko didn’t exist because it was convenient for the two of them to be together, and he didn’t abandon anything in his life to be with Zuko. He <em>loved </em>Zuko, and he was certain Zuko loved him back, and he’d left for the Fire Nation because Zuko had offered him the opportunity to help those who were still struggling to get on their feet years after the war.</p><p>            “That’s not true, and you know it,” he said, his voice low and dangerous.</p><p>            “How would I know? You’ve never told me anything about it.” Her voice was sad, and it only made him angrier. Sure, Sokka hadn’t told her about him and Zuko, but she had never asked, either. And now she had the opportunity to hear about what had happened, but she was choosing to dismiss their two-year relationship as a stupid fling, ending the conversation before it could even start.</p><p>            Sokka was shaking and backed away towards the door before he said or did something he would seriously regret. “Every relationship doesn’t have to be like you and Aang. You’re not perfect, Katara. Just because we haven’t said it to each other doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. You’re <em>wrong</em>.”</p><p>            Katara pursed her lips in that annoying <em>you-know-I’m-right </em>way she’d inherited from their mother, which made Sokka explode.</p><p>            “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he spat out, and he felt his heart break into a million little pieces, but he was too angry to care. “You know what? Maybe we have grown apart, and it’s <em>your</em> fault, because you can’t respect anyone who doesn’t do things just like you.”</p><p>            With a trembling hand, he clutched the doorknob, waiting for her to say something to stop him, waiting for her to apologize and say she was wrong, but she said nothing.</p><p>            He ignored the burning in his eyes and throat and stomach and held the doorknob like it was his only lifeline. Slowly, deliberately, he turned to look at her one last time, his baby sister, who had stepped up in so many ways after their mother died, who saved all of their lives countless times, who had become a waterbending master at the age of 14, the first woman from the South Pole to do so in so many years. This angry, rigid person that was sitting before him—he didn’t recognize her. And he wasn’t sure he even wanted to try to anymore.</p><p>            “Fuck you, Katara.” His words were slow and measured. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Fuck. You.”</p><p>            And before he could burst into tears, he slammed the door open and stormed out, leaving without hearing her response, because he didn’t care to hear her thoughts. If he allowed himself to care, he would only be opening himself up to more hurt and disappointment. No, if Katara felt that way about his relationship with Zuko, if she wanted to dismiss how he felt because she refused to accept that Sokka had grown and changed when she wasn’t around, then it wasn’t worth trying to explain himself to her.</p><p>            His thoughts swirled around, Katara’s words echoing in his head. Yes, they had grown apart; there was no denying that now. But part of him felt like it was a little justified if Katara was going to keep treating him like a kid who couldn’t make up his mind, who jumped into things without thinking them through. He knew it was Katara’s way of showing she cared, but weren’t they too old for that now? They were both adults, and Katara was probably going to get engaged in the next few days, for spirits’ sake; she didn’t need to mother him and judge him so harshly just because his life had turned out differently than they both had thought it would.</p><p>            The mix of anger and hurt and sadness Sokka was feeling was hard to control, and he tried to close his eyes and steady his breathing like Zuko did when he meditated. He just wanted Katara to see how happy Zuko made him, to understand that he really did love Zuko, and that whether she liked it or not, Zuko would <em>always</em> be a part of his future as much as she would.</p><p>            Like the cracks Katara had put inadvertently put in Aang’s iceberg, the cracks between him and Katara were now too deep to ignore. The pressure exerted on them had made them explode, and like an ice floe that had been split in two, their jagged edges no longer fit together.</p><p>            They were drifting apart on an endless sea of their own making, and Sokka felt like it was all his fault.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Honestly, the main reason I struggled with this chapter was the fight between Sokka and Katara. Trying to strike the balance between exploring what was upsetting them both without making Katara seem homophobic was extremely challenging--so if you read her that way, know that is not the intention here at all. </p><p>I don't want to explain the characters' motivations so hard and so early that it ruins how this story ends, so I won't. There is more to this story (five whole chapters more!), so I'm asking, as the writer, that you trust that I know where I'm going with it. I promise you, there is a happy ending! :)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, comments make me super happy because I'm always ready to talk about ATLA!!<br/>If you wanna help your local autistic lesbian (that's me) out, feel free to drop me a line on <a href="http://thelesbiansfromnextdoor.tumblr.com">my tumblr.</a> :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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